Allrighty, for the benefit of anyone who has already messaged me or is considering doing so (this means YOU), here's my deal currently:

I keep waffling back and forth about whether or not I really have the time, energy, and right state of mind to really get out there and start dating again, which leads to me logging on here and browsing a lot, but freezing with indecision when it comes to actually writing people back :-/ (Thus the fact that I apparently only reply "selectively.") Also, I just started a new job, am still doing a couple shifts a week at my old job, and both jobs are in retail, which means that my schedule is odd and fairly unpredictable. Ooh, *and* I'm still in the process of getting over a really emotionally intense and exhausting long term relationship!

Now that I've scared most everyone away...

All that being said, I *am* still interested in going out and meeting people, and if I've stalked you a couple of times, chances are I think you're pretty interesting, even if you've sent a message and I haven't yet responded. However, right now I just don't have the patience for all the messaging back and forth, winks and whatnot. If you can suggest a concrete plan of something for us to get together and do (ex.: Hi, I liked your profile and it seems like we might have a lot in common. Would you perchance be inclined to go have coffee and/or drinks at ____ some time this week?), I'm *much* more likely to take you up on the offer :)

So, um... yeah... back to our regularly scheduled programming...

I originally moved from the mountains of Western NC to go to UNC, and have transitioned into a Carrboro/Chapel Hill (and sometimes Durham) townie. I've been going through a seemingly never-ending transitional phase as I figure out what *doesn't* make me happy and search for what *does* make me happy. I've eliminated a few things, but it seems like the pool of choices is ever deeper. For a while, I was content to just relax and have fun, but now I'm feeling that urge to do something more... and I'm trying to learn to be comfortable with uncertainty.

Often, I feel like this.

I've got a great love of music, art, intellectual pursuits, and not-so-intellectual pursuits. I appreciate language and try to use it well. I'm open-minded and insist upon the same in others. I've got a fine tuned sense of irony/sarcasm. My pet peeves are horrible spelling, egotism/cockiness and condescension.

Figuring IT all out. Yes, all of IT. I expect to be nearing completion of this task within... say... the next 20 years or so. Gotta have a deadline, right?

Other than figuring it all out, I'm working at an adult store (yes, the employee discount is awesome) as well as another unnamed fancy retail store, paying the bills, trying to get my motivation back for running, pondering going back to school and/or starting my own business, and just generally trying to improve myself as much as possible.

Being non-judgmental and making people feel comfortable talking about sensitive subjects.

My glasses? My nose ring? I really have no clue.

a) Too many to list... but I'm always reading one or more books. I've always been a book nerd because I love accumulating knowledge and broadening my horizons. I tend to like books that win various literary awards, and I always feel self-conscious if I'm reading a copy of a book that was published *after* the movie version was made.

b) Again, too many to list, but here are some of them: Lost in Translation, In the Mood for Love, John Hughes/brat pack/80's teen movies, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Edward Scissorhands, Rushmore, Fargo, 28 Days Later, the Royal Tenenbaums, Empire of the Sun, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (new and old, but mostly old), and a lot more. I'll usually watch most anything, including (especially) cheesy disaster movies. Also, I'm not afraid to admit that I willingly watched Step Up 2 the Streets on Netflix the other night.

c) Here's a non-exhaustive list of favorites: Tilly and the Wall, Cursive, Des Ark, DeVotchKa, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Good Life], Modest Mouse, MIA, Johnny Cash, Iron & Wine, the Magnetic Fields, Blonde Redhead, Neutral Milk Hotel, Ladytron, MGMT, Portishead, New Order, Outkast, the Beta Band, Smashing Pumpkins, NIN, the Pixies, the Faint, Tori Amos, embarrassing stuff with a good beat that I can run and/or booty dance to, and, again, lots lots more I can't think of as well as most of what gets played on Indie Pop Rocks on somafm.

d) Indian (omg malai kofta curry!), Italian, Chinese, Mexican, ice cream, asparagus, grapes (especially when fed to me in bed), strawberries from the farmer's market, guacamole, cheese, cheesecake, pretty much anything with cheese, other things that aren't good for me (this is is why I need to get back into the running habit)

Something to read, trees, companionship, sleep, humor and your mom.

Why are relationships and love so complicated/confusing/painful? What I want to do with my life. What if this isn't the right choice? What I need to do today. Where all my money goes. Why I have so much stuff everywhere (see: where all my money goes). How I managed to be running late for work *again*. How I should really keep in touch with my friends better. What book I should read next (see: where all my money goes). Getting to the top of this hill without walking. Convincing myself that lungs do not [usually] explode. How long I can procrastinate washing my dishes. Did I set my alarm correctly?

Also: Don't Panic

Also: That's what she said.

Also: Everybody Panic!!1

1. Drinking wine and/or beer and hanging out with friends.

2. Working, and wishing I was hanging out with friends.

3. Drinking wine and/or beer and watching dorky tv shows that I'm addicted to (which have included: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Arrested Development, Oz, Weeds, Six Feet Under, Farscape, Dexter, Doctor Who)

4. Reading a book and hanging out with the kitties like the nerd I am.

5. Who the hell knows?

I want you to want me in that Cheap Trick sort of way.

Also, I *probably* know more about sex than you do.

You appreciate that fat-bottomed girls make the rockin' world go 'round.

To be completely honest, right now I'd love to meet someone I could get along with at *least* on the friend level, but who likes to push boundaries a bit and would be up for going on some fun dates, watching some movies and potentially some no-expectations fun making out on the couch if there's some mutual attraction going on, you know? I'm not quite ready to get back into a super serious relationship, but I wouldn't run away if the right person came along.

Also, I put myself as "bisexual," for lack of a better, more accurate option to reflect my preferences. I know that I'm attracted to women at times, and would be open to hanging out with a cute girl in the above-mentioned couch-making-out sort of way. However, I'm still very much on the bi-*curious* side, so if you don't even want to mess with that, I completely understand. Also, YOU must make the first move because I'm shy like that.

For longer-term relationship plans, the following still applies:

You should message me if... you like to make random friends, go on weird road trips / adventures, drink beer/wine with cool people. You can suggest good music for me to listen to or books for me to read. You have an idea of what you'd like to do with your life (even if you constantly change your mind) or can/want to help me figure out what to do with mine! You're ok with "voluptuous" women who can run 3-4 miles (albeit slowly).

I appreciate people who are laid back, open, honest, kind, empathetic and sincerely care about improving themselves and genuinely connecting with others. A big plus is having a sarcastic/ironic/weird sense of humor. If you can't at least appreciate that, we probably won't get along.

If you can convince me to get the hell out of my house and out on a walk/hike/playground, you get extra points.