Well here goes..... *deep breath* .....
Hi, I'm Peter I'm 33, bored and living alone, and none of these things am I looking to keep that way. However due to some quirk of nature it seems I cant adjust my age manually so ill settle for adjusting the other 2 things instead.
Don't get me wrong I have a good social life and good friends and I have the usual TV programmes and computer games to distract me. But that doesn't compare to having that special someone sitting a few feet away, having a special someone to chat to about all the things that happen in my life. So basically I'm looking to fill that void in my life and also to fill a similar void in that persons life too.
Living Alone -
Well here I am in my flat which is 10 mins walk for all the local bars, restaurants and shops but I'm still not happy. It just feels a bit lonely here all by myself. Don't get me wrong I'm not looking to move someone in on day one but I am looking for a relationship not a fling or a one night stand, and I do hope that after enough time the woman I find will want to settle down with me of course, after all what's the point otherwise?
So what do I want from her?
Well this is where things get a little hazy you see I'm not going to set out an exact measurement and personality profile of the woman I meet because at the end of the day that person probably doesn't exist. At the end of the day I could meet an amazing woman who doesn't even come close to what I might have written if I did. However in the interests of saving time I will point out a few things I don't want, rest assured if you don't fit into any of these categories then there's no reason we cant chat.
So what I don't want -
Thieves - I know it looks nice, I know you want it, but I paid for it and I want it where it is, please leave it there.
Murderers - Now yes I know its probably exciting and a bit of a buzz killing someone but if I'm honest I feel safer and happier if I'm alive.
Drug Addicts - Ok, ok I'm no saint I have done things over the years I'm not proud of but I don't want someone who's point in life is to make it to the next fix.
Paedophiles - Now I didn't really believe that female paedophiles existed, but according to recent news reports they do, so to cut along story short, I'm not your man.
Suicide Bombers - Ok you may be beautiful with an amazing body and hair like silk, but that's no use to me spread all over a wall in a foreign country.
Ok so your none of the above and still not sure if we should chat let me give you some reasons why we should.
What you will get from me - (in no particular order)
* Friendship (The best girlfriends are your friends too)
* Affection (Hugs are good)
* A bloody good laugh guaranteed (I will love to make you laugh)
* Love (I know what it is and how to give it)
* Sex (This has been known to happen)
* Kisses (Even with tongues)
* Ear lobe nibbling (not to hard I dont like blood)
* Tickling (coz its funny)
* Spanking (coz any woman that says she doesnt like it is a liar)
* Yawn raped (oh yea you will hate this one)
* Being jumped out in front of whilst I wear a Halloween mask when you least expect it may also happen.
*There may be play fights (this can include pillows if necessary)
* You may be teased
* You will smile
* You will laugh
* You may miss me when im not there
* You may look at the empty side of the bed when your alone and stroke it, or sniff the pillow looking for signs of me, but then hey your only human.
Im only human at the end of the day but I believe the secret to a happy life is to try to make those around me happy, and if your my girlfriend then your always number one on the list. Im not perfect despite all the newspaper articles about me. I can be annoying, but its not deliberate.
Anyway if you want to chat, flirt, meet, kiss or hug me please feel free to email me, or if I emailed you then please respond I'm honestly not that bad and actually a lot of fun :)
Future man in your life and reason why you are caught smiling for no reason