None of these things am I looking to keep that way. However due to some quirk of nature it seems I cant adjust my age manually so ill settle for adjusting the other 2 things instead.
Dont get me wrong I have friends both male and female and I have a TV, video, Hi Fi (yes I said Hi Fi) and obviously a computer. But none of that compares to having that special somone sitting a few feet away, having somone to chat to about all the things that happen during a persons life that he wants to share with that special somone. So basically im looking to fill that void in my life and also to fill a similar void in that persons life too.
Living Alone -
Well here I am in my place which is 10 mins walk for all the bars and restraunts and shops but im still not happy.
Dont get me wrong im not looking to move someone in on day 1 but I am looking for a relationship, and I do hope that after enough time the woman I find will want to live with me and live happily ever after so to speak.
What do I want from her?
Well this is where things get a little hazy im great at saying whats wrong with my life but not to good at making sugestions to fix that.
You see I dont want to set out an exact mesurment and personality profile of the woman I meet because at the end of the day that person doesnt exist, all women are individuals and at the end of the day I could meet an amazing woman who doesnt even come close to what I might write now.
However in the interests of saving time I will point out a few things I dont want, rest assured if you dont fit into any of these categories then theres no reason we cant chat.
What I dont want -
Thieves - I know it looks nice, I know you want it, but I paid for it and I want it where it is, please leave it there.
Murderers - Now yes I know its probably exciting and a bit of a buzz killing someone but if im honest I feel safer and happier if im alive.
Drug Addicts - Ok ok im no saint I have done things over the years im not proud of but I dont want somone whos point in life is to make it to the next fix.
Paedophiles - Now I didnt really believe that female pedophiles existed, but according to recent news reports they do, so to cut along story short, im not your man.
Suicide Bombers - Ok you may be beautiful with an amazing body and hair like silk, but thats no use to me spread all over a wall in a foreign country.
Ok so your none of the above and still not sure if we should chat let me give you some reasons why we should.
What you will get from me - (in no particular order)
* Friendship (The best girlfriends are your friends too)
* Affection (Snuggles are good)
* A bloody good laugh guaranteed (I live to make you laugh)
* Love (I know what it is and how to give it)
* Sex (This has been known to happen)
* Kisses (Even with tongues)
* Ear lobe nibbling (not to hard I dont like blood)
* Tickling (coz its funny)
* Spanking (coz any woman that says she doesnt like it is a liar)
* Yawn raped (oh yea you will hate this one)
* Being jumped out in front of whilst I wear a Halloween mask when you least expect it
* You will be teased
* You will smile
* You will laugh
* You may miss me when im not there
* But I will always be back asap
* You may look at the empty side of the bed when your alone and stroke it, or sniff the pillow looking for signs of me, but then hey your only human.
Im only human at the end of the day but I believe the secret to a happy life is to try to make those around me happy, and if your my girlfriend then your always number one on the list. Im not perfect despite all the newspaper articles about me. I can be annoying, but its not deliberate.
Anyway if you want to chat/flirt/meet/kiss/hug/shag me please do email me, or if I emailed you then please respond im honestly not that bad and actually a lot of fun :)
Future man in your life and reason why you are caught smiling for no reason