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xCleverUsername

25 M Denver, CO

My Details

Last Online
Aug 12
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Education
Working on masters program
Job
Other
Income
$40,000–$50,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Has dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), Italian (Okay), Spanish (Poorly), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
So..... I'm a chef with a philosophy and business degree. Which essentially means that I can explain to you why you don't exist while making risotto.... and then charge you for the risotto. I'm currently working as professor at a university downtown while I finish my last semester of my MBA. While I tend to be extremely driven I unfortunately have no idea where I'm going.

But let's talk about my idiosyncrasies. I'm both ambitious and apathetic to a dangerous fault. I like talking to random people about random things; from physics, to food, to why nobody likes mimes (it's because their evil). I'm awkwardly antisocial but oddly charismatic. I like long walks on the beach and weird sex fetishes (I'm just kidding, I hate the beach). I love to travel and any long term relationship it would be required. Also, I can fit 12 large marshmallows in my mouth... although not at the same time.

I tend to be fairly picky when it comes to dating. I'm often very busy and so if I'm going to devote time and energy to someone, I want that someone to be worth investing in. Know that I find smart and nerdy extremely sexy. It's very important to me that you be able to hold your own in an intelligible conversation and have enough wit and charisma to make fun of me when I can't.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I've always wanted to eat the "worlds biggest something". That's what I'm doing. I hope it's a taco.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Wearing pants. Seriously, I'm very good at it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I am not a large black man.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
There's a lot for all of these.
Books: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Lolita, Notes from the Underground, One Hundred Years of Solitude, If You Meet the Buddha on the Road Kill Him, Enders Game, etc.
Movies: Most Mel Brooks Movies, Eurotrip, Fight Club, Sherlock Homes, The Avengers, Boondock Saints, Dr. Horrible's, Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil, and everything else on netlix.
Shows: Community, Arrested Development, Archer, Doctor Who, Venture Bros, Futurama, Big Bang Theory, House, Flight of the Concords, Burn Notice, etc.
Music: Pretty much everything. Bad Religion, Arctic Monkies, Dropkick Murphy's, Childish Gambino, and a bunch more.
Food: Everything. This one is important to me. If you don't like food, I don't like you. Though I'm particularly fond of sushi and thai.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Making lists
B. My ability to make lists
7. My ability to count
4. My tenacity and ability to finish anything I sta
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
If instead of talking to your plants, you yelled a them, would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Stealing penguins from the zoo. They're like little people in tuxedos.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I spent far too long trying to think of clever and witty things to answer these questions with in the hopes that the inevitable four people who actually read them will think that my sarcasm and wit make up for my egotism and mediocre looks (I'm just kidding, I'm gorgeous and not narcissistic).
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're different. Normal is boring. I'd like to know what you are passionate or ambitious about, no matter how innocuous it may be. Passions and drives make people interesting. Very few people in this world are interesting, I'd like to meet the few that are.

.... Or if you own a monkey. I've always wanted to meet a monkey.