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26 Great Malvern, UK Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 20–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 5:08am
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Capricorn, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of university
Seeing Someone
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm about to defy the popular belief that it's "impossible to sum yourself up in one of these things."

My name is Jenny.

I'm kind of awkward socially. It's cute, I promise.

I'm not religious. I don't believe in absolute morality. I have morals, but they are born of such things as empathy and a desire for social cohesion. I love beautiful scenery and buildings, especially in spring and summer. On the right day, English countryside is unsurpassable in its beauty. I like to lie in the grass and feel the ants walking over my stomach and legs. They accept me as part of the landscape.

I want to have sex all the time. Call me!

Don't call me really. You fat, unsavoury bastard.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I live in a small terrace by a railway line. I like to listen to the trains. I like to go to the gym and pump iron and drink protein shakes that taste a bit like chocolate but mostly like socks.

I study electronic and electrical engineering and work for a company in the engineering sector. Supposedly my job is to manage workloads and improve KPIs, but I mainly spend my time extorting snacks from browbeaten colleagues and making up alternative lyrics for well known pop songs. Which isn't annoying at all.

My most harrowing job was probably a few years back when I worked for a very elderly lady artist. She was rheumatoid, bedridden and mostly blind. I basically just typed stuff up, tried to decipher her baffling notes, researched boring dead people, and sorted through endless cardboard boxes of junk. Sometimes I got hungry and had to eat the crumbs I could scrape out from between the floorboards. It reminded me of my years as a Russian peasant in Turkmenistan, so I spent much of my time weeping, overwhelmed by horrific and vivid flashbacks. This made it difficult to get much work done, and the lady artist was not frugal with her beating-stick. "Akylsyz topbak!" she'd scream at me. "Bikar gacgak!" Every curse from that twisted Slavic mouth made part of my soul shrivel and die. There's not much left now.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Comparing, concealing, avoiding, repressing, over-thinking, objectifying, repelling, rationalising, pretending, worrying, yearning, making origami lilies out of paper napkins.

I'm agile, like a goat.

So, yeah, loads of cool stuff.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My moronic attempts at small talk.

That I appear younger than I am.

"You have the best nipples I've ever seen, even in porn."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
BOOKS: Anything well written and emotionally engaging which will take me on a magical adventure. His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman, Winter's Tale by Mark Helprin, Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin, things of that sort. I'm fascinated by cosmology, but understand frustratingly little.

FILMS: The same as books, with some sci fi thrown in. The Lord of the Rings, Mononoke-hime, The Matrix, etc. I also like films with SCARY GHOSTS. I do not like films containing any sort of extreme, sadistic violence.

TV: My top three, in order, are The Tribe, Buffy and Lost. The only current TV programme I'm really into is The Walking Dead.

MUSIC: I like folk, because the melodies are pretty and the words are bittersweet. And Michael Jackson. I think that a lot of liturgical music is absolutely beautiful.

FOOD: My favourite foods are carbohydrates, dairy and saturated fat. I look like I'm in really good shape, but I'm probably moments from heart failure.

GAMES: Because games are important too. My favourite games tend to be minimalistic and beautiful. Journey, Ico, Pokémon, Zelda (Oracle of Time and Ages), Abe's Oddysee, Limbo, Portal. But not Portal 2. I strongly believe that anybody who thinks Portal 2 is as good as Portal has completely missed the art and subtlety of Portal. EVEN THE MAKERS. Yeah, I said it.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
When I was younger, there was a small section of uneven plaster on the wall next to my bed. It looked as if a tiny, bespectacled, long-nosed creature peered out into my room from its cosy niche. I called it Goggly. At night, Goggly would watch over me and whisper comforts in my ear. When faced with a moral dilemma, I'd ask myself, "What would Goggly do?" I knew that Goggly would never send me awry. One day I came home from school to find that my grandmother had replastered my entire room. Goggly, and Goggly's niche, were lost under smooth, cold gypsum. It was the worst day of my life.

Goggly is the single thing I cannot do without, but do without I must. My descent into madness has been slow, but I think people are definitely starting to notice.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How... pointless... everything... is. How promisingly the word 'chthonian' begins, with all those unlikely consonants bundled together... and how disappointingly it ends; '-onian'. What an anticlimax. In that first infinitesimal moment, you're all, "Could this be the best word ever...?" and then no. It has tricked you.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Floating through outer space, searching for the Meaning of Life. I've a hunch it's to be found somewhere around TN J0924-2201, but I can't honestly be sure. I fear this is a doomed mission.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Solipsism has been preying on my mind since early childhood, like some sort of horrible soul-consuming fungus.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are a tall, athletic, handsome physicist who can tell me cool stuff about outer space and subatomic particles. Or you have something else interesting/funny/thoughtful to say. This does not include the information "You sound a lot like me, actually."

You want to buy me A-List.

You should also read some of my match questions first. And if you still think I'm ok, then do it. Message me. Unless you're fat.