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42 Brooklyn, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 27-45
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Nov 20
Open relationship
5' 7" (1.71m)
Body Type
Atheism and laughing about it
Doesn’t want kids
Has cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Under New Management!
Take advantage of our new lowered standards!

I really like to eat and laugh mostly.

The Stay-Pufft Matshmallow Man is my spirit animal.

Homer Simpson is my Golden Idol.

Eris, Greek Goddess of confusion and discord is my Diety.

I'm basically the list of side effects you would get in the matrix by taking half of the red pill and half of the blue pill.

Ok here's the deal. I live in Ridgewood, Queens and work in lower Manhattan, at night. It's ruining my social life. I spend a lot of my time cooking or preparing food so I don't have to buy lunch in the financial district. These days a lot of salads, smoothies and juices, and Sichuan pepper stir fry. Trying to avoid gluten. Although I did get on my bike and go check out Ramen Lab recently (no longer there) during my lunch hour and thank Eris I did.

My ideal lady would understand my sense of humor (it's dark yet clever) dig that I like to spend Sunday reading in bed and drinking coffee and playing video games or seeing a movie. Now that it's spring go for bike ride adventures. I just bought a sweet new bike. Or car adventures. For some reason I have a car. I also spend a lot of time playing pinball (I'm in a league) and outside I like frisbee and badminton a lot.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work as an Xray technician at a hospital. Yes I have gross stories. No I don't have any stories about mysterious things being stuck in rectums. Can't we all be glad about that? Okay I might be a little disappointed. Only a little.

Seriously I see a lot of gross stuff. You can't possibly gross me out. Yes that's a dare.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Reading, pinball, making dinner, coconut rice crispy treats, yoyo tricks, popcorn made in a not microwave, being funny once you start to see my absurd side. Mostly awkward before that.

Also random trivia, focused knowledge, and being totally jealous of my cat which I deal with by taking slow motion videos of him being a cat.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
A vast array of physical deformities and malodies. Usually the smell is the first thing. It gets pretty bad as I am allergic to both clean water & towels. I have been using the same bath water for 8 months.
Then of course the Parkinson's disease, or the Parallel Parkinson's disease, or the Valet Parkinson's disease if you should see me driving my Bluth Company stair car with all the hop-ons. The wild unkept beard with a small bird living in it stands out, as does the family haircut. The flea-ridden poncho I won in a fight with a stray 3-legged dog, the I'm with clumsy T-shirt. I'm carrying a dog-eared copy of A Confederacy of Dunces. All the scars on my face from smallpox, polio, chickenpox, shingles, Ebola, eczema and the knife fights I get into. I suffer from hot tub foot, droopy eyelids, tennis forearm, loose hair and jungle scrotum. Recently i was self-diagnosed with eratic eye, rum knuckles, tennis fist and static cling eyelashes. And of course the hook hand, the hook thumb, the eyepatch, the earpatch and the mole. The mole you can see, not the one under the mole patch. I usually carry a "The End Is Nigh" sign and wear tissue box shoes. And I'm towing jars of my saved urine in my Radio Flyer red wagon, at least until I can get a ride on the Spruce Moose.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I started out my reading year with Infinite Jest and it's now among my favorite books. Also read Pervert- A Love Story by Jerry Stahl and now I'm reading Con Men (it's about con men) and that's nonfiction and The Killing Floor which is fiction. It's a Jack Reacher Novel. Kinda trashy but fun. And I'm also reading You Don't Know Me But You Don't Like Me which is about the bands Phish (I'm not a fan) and Insaine Clown Posse (again, not really a fan) and its passable as a book.

Now I just started Neal Stephenson's new book, Seveneves. Which I've now finished. Now reading The Martain and OG Dad, Stahl's new book. I went and saw him speak recently.

Are you convinced I like books yet? William Gibson is, I figure, my favorite.

I love movies too!

Food, yeah I can cook AND eat.

For music I've been listening to old Hip Hop Yacht Rock mixes from
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Six Things?!

Sichuan pepper
My Titanium Spork
Rubber Bands

But I would give them all up, for a few more.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I shot a man in Reno once but I didn't stick around to see how it turned out.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Washing my hair.

Once that's settled I might be at Moe's for a beer, or drinks at the Reagle Beagle, or dancing at the Hip Joint, maybe listening to a live Mouse Rat set at the Snake Hole, getting trashed at Paddy's Pub, perhaps a frozen banana at The Big Yellow Joint, maybe a bite at Club Obi Wan and then hopefully the antidote, maybe drop a few quarters into Zantar. See Zantar is a gelatinous cube that eats warrior chieftains in a medieval village. I just can't seem to get to the next level no matter how many quarters I pump into it. After that late night waffles at J.J.'s diner, if I didn't already get a frozen banana at Bluth's Banana Stand.

More likely I'll just make a pillow fort and read sci-fi novels under sheets with a flashlight.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I was on an episode of Kitchen Nightmares. I waited on Gordon himself.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I can only imagine how the quality of my life would improve if I knew the answer to this question.

I work evenings, and my weekend is Sunday-Monday. So it would help if you are a night owl, or have a strange schedule or want to brave the most awful night of the week, Saturday. I'm into movies Sunday's and comedy Monday's, when I'm not playing pinball for league night.
Normally I get off work at 11:30