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41 Oakland, CA Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 28–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 10:19pm
Middle Eastern, White
5′ 0″ (1.52m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Trying to quit
Scorpio, and it’s fun to think about
Sales / Marketing
Rather not say
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs and has cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
::if you're one of the straight, cis-gendered guys who's been visiting my profile lately, let's just say now that it's not going to happen::


That said...
I'm originally from Orange County and have lived in the Bay Area for about 13 years. My family and oldest friends are all there still, and while I do miss them to bits and pieces and love to visit, the Bay is definitely the place I consider as my home base.

What else. I'm short and funny and fun. I like (LOVE) to cook. And I'm kind of good at it. Just saying.

I have a smallish but close family. Not weird/Texas Chainsaw close, but we all have a great time when we're together.

I generally need some kind of creative outlet. At the moment, this involves being part of a drag king troupe (Rebel Kings of Oakland).

Moms usually love me and my niece and nephew are convinced that I hang the moon, if that counts for anything... :)

THIS PART IS IMPORTANT: You should know that I'm trans* identified - which means I use male pronouns (he/his/him). It's important to me that you use these when referring to me, also...even if I'm not passing yet. I JUST started T (on 3/12/2104). Either Andy or Andrew is good by me. A lot of people see the "just started T" as a huge red flag...and I get that. That said, I have and will continue to take a very mindful approach to this all. There's a reason I did a bunch of therapy around this and waited until I was 40 to start it... Hell. I give myself a mandatory 6 month wait on tattoo ideas, so you can bet your ass I gave this a ton more thought :)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm looking for my next gig, job-wise, after being laid off from a software startup a while back. I'm actually starting my own small business now...which is taking up some significant time/energy. I also walk dogs at Walk On, Pup in Oakland - mostly to help my friend with her business, but also to get some excercise (and extra cash). I make ends meet - that's what's important. When I'm not work-minded, I try to spend the rest of my day having fun and doing the things that really make my heart thump. Most of the time, this involves producing upcoming drag shows, stage managing other shows, landscaping friends' gardens...

I've been wondering if I'll ever finish doing something with all my empty wall space, so I think that's next on the creative list.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
making people laugh. showing up. being a wingman. kissing. cooking. making whites whiter. manners and etiquette. crabbing off the Berkeley pier. making really, really good Bloody Marys. sales/marketing. losing my car keys in my own apartment more than once/week (yes, this happens. So bonus points if you have a photographic memory). kink. wearing ties. kinging. being a really cool uncle. giving an amazing wedding toast. always having beer in the fridge. making baklava that my grandmother would be proud of. ethical nonmonogamy (even though I'm more monogamy leaning than not..). betting on the winning horse. geeking out when i talk about rowing (I was a coxswain all through college on a men's heavyweight varsity crew). being a fiercely loyal friend. photobombing. flogging. fucking up gender. not freezing up if I'm handed an open mic. halloween all year long. cards against humanity. making chocolate covered strawberries.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I'm a dead ringer for Paris Hilton? That I'm fun sized?
That I blush easily?

I have no idea...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I haven't found myself with too much spare time to read lately, but did just finish a fantastic novel by a newish queer writer: "Antonym of Apathy" by H.K. Kyle. A great read! I tend to spend a lot of time lately reading random blogs, pouring over cookbooks (I can be found in the kitchen whenever time allows), cool cupcake books.

Movies...I like scary (horror/slasher flicks) funny, romantic comedy.. I'm open. Favorite all-time movies include True Romance, Breakfast at Tiffanys, The Cannonball Run, So I Married an Axe Murderer, Nightmare Before Christmas, Sound of Music, all the Godfathers, Mafia, Goodfellas, the whole John Hughes set, and anything directed by Tim Burton and composed by Danny Elfman (genius).
TV...I'm a sucker for those cooking competition shows. If I even hear Gordon Ramsey's voice, I'm totally in it for the hour. How I Met Your Mother, Jon Stewart, Colbert, SNL, My Strange Addiction (yeah, I'll admit it), World of Jenks, Catfish, Naked and Afraid, any crime show.

Music...I'm all over the place. I tend to default to Johnny (and June) Cash, Dolly Parton, Patsy Cline, Sinatra (esp when combined with Sammy and Dino)... Throw on some good honky tonk music, and I'm a happy boy. In my iTunes library, however, you'll also find The Pixies, The Cure, Depeche Mode, Siouxie, Yaz, Bronski Beat, Social D, No Doubt, L7, Sublime, old punk...

Food. Yes please, just not tomatoes :) Or persimmons. It's a texture thing.
Let's add soggy cereal to that list. Ew.

Maybe kiwis, also, now that I'm thinking about it.

And eggplant. OK, I'm done now :)
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
*My family - chosen, given, and 4-legged (there are four of the 4-legged variety..2 dogs and 2 cats. And I love them to bits and pieces. Love the boy, then you've gotta love the fur babies)
*My glasses.
*Chapstick with SPF (it's a me)
*Liquid (water, iced tea, beer, whiskey...something)
*Bring close to an ocean
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Gender. Surgery vs original parts.

The role of my parents at this stage of my life. The role of kids at this stage of my life. Where a puppy might fit into this stage of my life.

The feasibility of throwing in the corporate America towel to pursue things I find myself passionate over: baking, creating, playing in the dirt and hoping things will grow. Not that I don't get passionate about being in sales, but am I really making a difference in anyone's life by getting them the right kind of business information, at the right time, integrated into their workflow...? It pays the bills (and then some)...but meaningful, not so much.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The only typical thing about my Friday nights is that I'll more than likely be found with a Jameson (neat, please) or Old Fashioned in hand.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm trans* identified (FTM). I'm having top surgery later this year... And I prefer boy to boi.

I like having my suspenders snapped. And I flag on the left...most of the time ;)

I'm OK with monogamous - and really am preferring I right now...but can be OK with ethical non-monogamy (focus on the 'ethical')/monogamish and open relationships - but I definitely don't identify as poly. I tried it, and it's just not my jam...
Which doesn't mean that I'm closed to dating someone who IS poly...just saying that I'm not.

I'm an unapologetic Lakers fan.

I will occasionally hit a Taco Bell drive-thru after a late night out. Don't happens.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are Kathleen Hanna.

You're an excellent communicator.

You realize that there is no 'm' in Valentine and no 'b' in supposedly.

You can be the one who gets the spider. or ginormous wasp, as the case seems to be lately...

You like to hold hands.

You have an OKC photo that a) isn't 20 years old or b) isn't from 1,000 feet away.

You also live for Halloween and get pissed off that Christmas decorations happen well into Feb.

You're curious about what I flag.

You're not a "fixer upper." I mean, we all have our stuff we work on, but if you don't know how to be in a healthy relationship, I'm probably not your guy...

You would both 'get' and be appreciative at seeing a couple appear at a costume party dressed as a hawk and a tray of ice cubes. Perhaps a tidal wave and a bobcat. Or, even a snowball and a mongoose. Extra points if you have any idea what i am talking about here.

FYI - I tend to be attracted to a wide spectrum of folks, ranging from other transguys to high femmes. My "type" tends to be "I know it when I see/feel it."

You think our combined radness would be...rad.

You also receive a biweekly profile visit from that straight guy in Brooklyn (WTF?!), and you want to vent about it.

You're not annoyed that I dropped the "extra points" thing twice in my profile.

Also. Extra points for qualifying for both extra point things... ;)

You read the part where I said I'm trans and are not only cool with that, but it's also not a bucket list thing for you or you don't have a trans fetish. I'm not especially keen on "that's rad - I've always wanted to date a transguy"