I love good beer, cheap liquor, naming inanimate objects, baby
animals, songs with my name in them (which are surprisingly hard to
find), and buying unnecessary junk off eBay.
I hate traffic, waiting in line, when you roast marshmallows on the
beach and the sand sticks to the sugar on your hands, and wet
What I’m doing with my life
I graduated from the University of Oregon with a degree in
Comparative Literature in 2011. Since Comp Lit is such a lucrative
field people are literally lining up outside my door to offer high
pay employment. So I work at a Juvenile Defense law firm as a
paralegal when I'm not hanging out with other people's pets or
sitting on my roof.
I also just quit smoking, which is something I suppose.
I’m really good at
Scheming, bad puns, makin skin suits outta people I meet off the
internet, and free style rapping.
The first things people usually notice about me
my sharp wit and short stature
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Ill read anything and everything but am in a huge Grahm Greene kick
Die Hard is probably my favorite movie maybe ever. I also enjoy Top
Gun, Wes Anderson films, historical documentaries about aliens,
cults, or how shit's made, Dances with Wolves, and most anything
from the 90s.
Law and Order SVU. Parks & Rec. Game of Thrones. Bored to
Death. South Park. The Daily Show. Seinfeld. Arrested Development.
The Wire. The Maury Show- duh.
I have a ridiculously ecclectic taste in music ranging from
Mo-Town, Neil Young, 90s R&B, Passion Pit, Hall & Oates,
Billy Joel, Republic of Wolves, Gladys Knight & the Pips, David
Bowie, and Fitz & the Tantrum to name a few.
I love potatoes and could eat them for every meal.
The six things I could never do without
- my teeth
- cayenne pepper
- Bruce Willis movies
I spend a lot of time thinking about
pro-bono detective work, what I'd look like as an elderly lady, and
elaborate schemes to get out of work
On a typical Friday night I am
usually trying to be in two places at once. or fast asleep too
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once shot a man in reno, but it really wasn't a big deal.
You should message me if
you want to shotgun a beer, pay off my student loans, or think you
can read faster than me.