Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
*100 PERCENT USDA CERTIFIED ASBESTOS FREE*
I am professionally funny. I like sticking my tongue out at small
children. I'm almost as handsome as I think I am. I desperately
want the mullet to come back in style. I make sushi.I always have a
towel. I'm an idealist who needs to be brought in every now and
again.Thanks to a circle circle dot dot, I am current on my cootie
shot. I face the back I elevators.i don't like killer bees. I
enjoying being hot or cold, it bothers me if there isn't a thermal
sensation on my skin of some sorts. I've survived an assassination
attempt(not really, but i bet that is not something you've read on
here before). When I leave my friends voicemails they are sung not
spoken (certain exceptions apply). I also am aware many men lie
about there height on here so for the sake of adjustment we can say
I am 6'4" that way when you knock off the two inches we get it
right.Sometimes I'm a bit of a bad boy, I'll swim 55 minutes after
eating. I feel Carpe Diem is too pretentious to use as a life
motto, and YOLO is idiotic, so I concocted a cleverly cunning
compromise of Carpe YOLO. But why listen to what I have to say,
here are some endorsements
"I could talk to him all night he is fascinating" Jonathan
Goldsmith a.k.a The Most Interesting Man in World
"Its about Ben" John Mayer when asked about "Your Body is a
"I've modeled my career and sense of style after him" Bradley
"I would date him again" Ellen DeGeneres
"He taught me to read" Stephan Colbert
"He was the inspiration for Matt's character" Steven Moffat
"There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." Ford
It may look like I'm always on here, but that is due to the fact I
am horrible at closing windows.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am a portfolio strategist by day, well more so wee early hours of
the morning til early afternoon, and trying to start my own company
by night, well mid aflfternoon til early evening.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cooking, mostly for a crowd. Mathematics *disclaimer I am terrible
at numbers, the Maths I do does not involve actual numbers.
Mismatching my socks, honestly my socks never match, I think my
friends and family are planning an intervention. Remembering tiny
details, as well as missing the fairly obvious which is part of the
reason of my mathematical skill. I'm exceptional at rubbing
people's back, no I don't mean massages. Well I suppose those too.
What I mean is, you know after you've come off a horrible day and
just sitting in silence with someone close to you they reach over
and begin rubbing your back in the most comforting manner known to
man. Then everything seems not so bad. I'm impossibly good at
figuring things out.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That you can see me think. It's almost to the point where I get
cartoonish thought bubbles above my head.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books:The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, Dune, Harry
Potter,1984, Lord of the Rings. A Nickles Worth of Skim Milk. I
rarely complete books, I hate endings; most books I have one
chapter left in. Fun Fact: Once a month I go to the library, go to
4 people ask for numbers in a certain range, then from those
numbers I choose floor, row, shelf, and book for me to spend 2 or
so hours reading.
Movies: I love MST3K, bad movies in general as well as action,
scifi, comedies. Kevin Smith is my spirit guide. Animals House,
Blazing Saddles, What Dreams May come.
TV: Cheers. TED Talks, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Xfiles.
Food: Sushi which I have typically 5-7 meals of a week. Steaks
cooked medium rare, whiskey, (Fish Fingers and custard)
Music: I don't really like music.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Witty people to joke with.
The ability to laugh at myself.
People who enjoy the fact I throw pasta against my wall to check if
A towel. You know just in case you need to hitch a ride because you
know, the Vogons.
Questions. The day my curiosity dies, I will no longer know who i
My dreams. I don't mean my vision for the future, I mean I really
enjoy dreaming at night.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Is it a man a woman or john candy?
Why aren't there ransom collages?
How do I import data on from multiple excel spreadsheets with
different directories to another spreadsheet.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Meeting with the Illuminati.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I prefer Hulu plus to Netflix.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Most people put here criteria for not to message so here it
you should not message me IF
You owe over $10,000 dollars to a Mexican drug cartel.
You are currently pregnant with triplets.
Your car is missing one of more wheels
You've ever castrated a former lover (chemically counts too)
You have a third arm or a tail.
iIf you own, or have ever owned multiple leopard print
You can't read an analog clock, double don't message me if you
don't know what that means.
You are just trying to get in my pants.(I mean wear them not sleep
with me.. its okay if you are trying to sleep with me, I just don't
want you wearing my pants.)
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.