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yungcoconut

30 M Oakland, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Sign
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has a kid
Pets
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English (Okay)

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My self-summary
Just this head and a bunch of body parts hastily thrown together, almost as an afterthought.

I am not a tech person. Please don't be either. It's nothing personal, I just have a sexual preference for human beings with human heats and souls.
What I’m doing with my life
Completing all the books on my shelves and the stories in my brain (eventually). Watching all the movies in my queue so I can cancel netflix (probably never). Abusing parentheses (always).
I’m really good at
Night cheese.
The first things people usually notice about me
I've been told that I "seem mature," so basically I look old.

Beyond the physical, probably either my overwhelming sincerity or sarcasm, depending on the day of the week.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: I read a lot, and I think this is the section where I'm supposed to name-check Murakami or quote John Waters about not to fucking anyone who doesn't have books at home, but all I could think when I saw that was how I'd be stuck at a stranger's house, sexually frustrated AND with nothing to read. Fuck you trying to do to me, John?

Movies: I try to keep up with the artsy stuff (I really liked In the Mood for Love and Ghost World), though I usually end up watching Jurassic Park.
Wattstax isn't necessarily an all-time favorite, but you owe it to yourself to watch Isaac Hayes' entrance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OctVizcgBcY). In a perfect world, it's exactly how I'd show up for our first date. Outfit and all.

Shows:
Pretty much anything set in that alternate reality where Manhattan is eerily and entirely white.

Music:
Nina Simone, most soul, Motown, classic rock. Your dad and I will probably bond over our record collections. Especially if he's into Wu-Tang. Actually, if your dad's into Wu-Tang, tell him to hit me up.

Food:
I eat more kale than I'd like to admit. I will always go just a little out of my way for regional fast food.
The six things I could never do without
naps
cocoa butter
sarcasm
soap
seasons (all 4 of 'em)
a good book
road trips
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How a city as "diverse" as Oakland can produce so many identical dating profiles. Is everyone a vegan social worker with an urban farm? Do this many people really like IPAs and running?

What happens when every thought has been tweeted, every meal photographed, and every location checked into.

Why so many depressing TV shows are so popular.

Whether the internet is making us shittier humans.

Deleting this profile.

Trading my smartphone for a landline.

How to sext from a landline
On a typical Friday night I am
in a sweat suit listening to Sweat/Suit.

drinking rum. It's the whiskey of my people.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I collect offensive OKCupid profile pics for art purposes (so far, blackface(s) at Bay 2 Breakers and a selfie in the Berlin Holocaust Memorial are topping the list). Sorry not sorry if that's you.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 27–35
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You read books (pretty damn important)
You have passionate opinions about ridiculous topics (very important)
You can hold a conversation about something other than your job (helpful, unless you have a really cool job that involves blowing stuff up or hunting fugitive androids)

You have a dog and you want to let me and your dog cruise around town with your dad in the back seat rapping along to Liquid Swords. I'd invite you along, but you should probably just stay home with bail money.

Skinny girls need not apply. Sorry :/