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30 M Rockville, MD

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 21–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Oct 22
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Science / Engineering
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly), Latin (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am murderous, undead, and BrAiNs!

REBOOT! *taps chest*

I have a hard time taking this whole schtick seriously. If I see something worthwhile in your profile, I'll write something short and pithy in the hopes that you'll read my profile and respond if you like, or that I haven't wasted too much of your time that could be better spend on Buzzfeed lists if you don't.

Yeah, I've been a member off and on since the three adjective descriptor days. Kind of miss them, really. Forced people to be a tinge more creative than: "OMG, I can't be summarized in a few paragraphs! I like the beach, relaxing, and HAVING FUN! NOODRAMAPLZ LOLZ" Can't say all that time has made me a particularly vociferous advocate for the merits of online dating. I've made some decent friends along the way, for sure, and certainly had some enlightening insights into the human condition during the resultant feats of social experimentation. Overall, though, many of the ensuing encounters consisted primarily of me dealing with strange or overblown emotions, carrying whole conversations for what seem like centuries, or drowning myself in alcohol while feverishly scanning the room for escape routes. So why am I still here? Turns out it's not too far off from normal dating in the analog world. And I guess I must have a bonus penchant for getting emails from awkward hermits low on social skills.

I frequently get the question: "What are you looking for?" Mostly, it seems, from girls trying to size me for a wedding tux from a first date or some emails. I'll sum my thoughts up as best I can: I'm looking to meet new people. That's meet, as in, not through the computer screen. As in: at a bar, restaurant, coffeeshop, mountaintop, or in a grassy open field with katanas drawn and a firm sense of honor. Other venues can be considered. If we get along well, I'd like to make these people friends. Friends are people you engage in group activities and casual conversation with, or who can be trusted to climb on stage and dance while you make a fool of yourself during karaoke. If there's chemistry, I see no reason against forming a relationship. If at some point I cannot see living my life without said person, then there will probably be a dialog about marriage, puppies, fat bouncing babies and the like. It would be fair to say this would not occur until at least three dates had transpired. Depending on circumstances, more might be required to, you know, get to know each other as people first. If this process is not expedient enough for your tastes, I'd advise on moving to another profile.

I've just returned to my adopted homeland of the greater DC Metro area after a brief respite in the wiles of North Carolina. The area did not much suit my tastes. I did have some friends in the area, all coupled or married; They are fun to hang out with but bedtimes and budgets aren't exactly suited to my lifestyle. I look forward to settling back into a land more hip to things like sin and gay marriage.

Some fun facts about me:
I own a house back in Rockville, MD. My roommate has fur and meows loudly from time to time.
I am gainfully employed and work too much. But I'm working on it. The working too much part, not the employment part.
I have a truck, bicycle, and motorcycle. Next up: jetpack. Strike that. I have a Prius now. Maryland has eaten my soul. Dat mileage, tho.
I have grown a full beard since my last photo. I have not yet decided on its permanent status and refuse to take an Ipad photo to furnish an update.
I have no children, illegitimate or otherwise. Nor ex-wives nor stalker ex-girlfriends. The line starts here.
I pay my own bills, clean my own messes, and manage to get dressed all by myself on a day to day basis.
I wear tuxedo shirts to work on casual Friday.
I enjoy activites that involve fresh air and sunshine.
I know when to make mature, responsible decisions and when to make stupid, haphazard ones.
I am a fan of the Philadelphia Eagles even though my love this season went largely unreciprocated.
I do not play WoW, nor do I wish to talk about playing WoW. Not even the socio-political dynamics of WoW.

It would be nice if a description of yourself reads something akin to the above, give or take some details.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Professional government stooge. I get zero fulfillment from my work, but the hours are nice.
Writing novels/poems that will never be concluded.
Flexing really hard and asking where the gym is.
Being generally awesome.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Fixing broken stuff.
Breaking fixed stuff.
Working with computers or most things A/V.
pwning the n00bs.
Beer and wine,
Though I'm even better at whiskey.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"Wow, that dude does not give a fuck!"
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My first version of this was a bit too long, so I'm gonna attempt something a bit more efficient:


Authors: Alan Moore, Neil Gaiman, Shakespeare, Matt Yglesias, George Orwell

Movies: The Prestige, Fight Club, Terminator 2, Casino, Road to Perdition

TV Shows: The Shield, Firefly, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Batman: TAS, Game of Thrones

Bands: Cursive, Pedro the Lion/David Bazaan, Cake, Small Brown Bike, mc chris

First five random songs on my current playlist:
"Jackson" Johnny Cash feat. June Carter
"Go to Sleep" DMX
"Ain't No Rest For the Wicked" Cage the Elephant
"The Old Main Drag" The Pogues
"Life Less Frightening" Rise Against

Bands specifically not included on this list: Nickleback, Disturbed, Linkin Park, Creed.

Currently on my Netflix Queue: Orange is the New Black. So very amazing.

Food is just impossible to categorize. I love it all, generally so long as it's not franchised or prepackaged.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Wrath, avarice, sloth, pride, lust, and gluttony. Envy is a bit too passe.

Honestly, since I got my Note 3 and set up my This American Life podcast subscription, there's little else I need. Maybe coffee. And whiskey. And great friends. And good music. OKAY, there's lots I couldn't do without.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Explosions in slow motion.
Also politics and Congress.
Depending on how you view it, these are more or less the same thing.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Doing every damn thing. Depending on what's happening I could be travelling or hitting up a restaurant or bar someplace to unwind from the nine to five slog. Or I could be at a concert. Some nights, though, I'm really happiest pouring a tall glass of scotch, beer, or coffee (maybe all three depending on the week) and having a few hours of bitching conversation.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I own a laserdisk player to get unadulterated copies of the original Star Wars, because I hate Geroge Lucas and what he's done to the series. I get a little more passionate about the subject than I probably should.

Also, back when I was too cool for school I used to roll around with spurs on my Chuck T's. I'm thinking it might be time to bring that style back, actually. Look at that, two private things! Aren't I open?!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like cynical, funny bastards.
Or if you hate sleep and like drinking and talking all night long.
Or both.

Normally this is the spot people tend to write something along the lines of: "Only respond if you know the difference between you're and your; than and then; further and farther; there, their, and they're; who's, whose, and hoos; simile, analogy, and metaphor; sup and s'up; Ceres and Demeter; one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish; etc." Personally, I care more about whether you know the difference between Zinfandel and White Zinfandel, or Amber, Lager, and Porter, or, more importantly, that you know the difference between the above, water, and work in the morning. I won't go nuts if you end a sentence in a preposition, though clarity of thought and the ability to speak coherently are certainly appreciated.

"Feminist" is a term I happily self-apply, and would hope you do as well. If you are confused and think this somehow makes me self-hating, we may not get along very well. Just something worth considering.