I am a large alpha mail.

People think I'm bigger, taller and scarier than I actually am. This amuses me.

These same people also tend to make the mistake of taking me seriously. This also amuses me.

Lets just assume I am easily amused at this point.

I have absolutely no intention of ever having sensible hair, on any part of my body.

I study at the school of banality and dabble in the occult.

I seldom have a sensible thought in my tiny little mind.

I was thrown out of A level art for not bothering to do any work and consider this my finest artistic qualification.

I actually have a somewhat creative career, the fact that people pay me money (occasionally) to do what I do never ceases to amaze me.

In my spare time I collect mad wimmin and cats. This is not a simple hobby, neither of them wrangle easily.

I have an obvious obsession with the number 19, once you have a pet number it simplifies so many decisions.

I may be a weirdo but I'm a large scary weirdo.

I was never chased out of the tribe for being strange. Well, not very far anyway.

I am an executive pervert.

I subscribe to a joke religion (or 2) which isn't a joke.

I am a perfect master schmuck.

My pookah is bigger than your pookah.

I accept the still smoking corpse of bill hicks as my short duration personal saviour.

I like to hang around in bars and talk crap, some times bars are closed. In which case I can be found talking crap on one of the following, feel free to listen.

ICQ : 681874

YAHOO : yah_kriss

MSN : krisss@hotmail.com

AIM : kriss1923

http://XIXs.livejournal.com

Today, world domination through applied laziness.

Tomorrow, when I grow up I intend to be Blank Reg, because, well, somebody should.

Complex, yet artistic models of reality. The really really bad ones are of course sold for cash. The good ones, nobody wants.

Apparently I look a lot larger than I actually am. To the point where it seems common for people to remark in amazement that I'm shorter than someone else. Like it's some sort of problem within their reality.

Shame links don't work, most of the stuff I likes is best expressed by linking to it.

books

Tend to read scifi, comedy, (real) science/tech , occasional biography / philosophy or just random junk.

here is a random list of "authors" from the top of my head

iain banks , robert rankin , terry pratchet , robert anton wilson , marquis de sade , jeff noon , john varley , richard buckminster fuller , H P lovecraft / sauce

movies

bill and ted both of them obviously , brazil , wings of desire , blade runner , life aquatic , code 46 , untill the end of the world , shaun of the dead , immortel and my minds gone blank.

music

dtrash still contains some stuff that gets overplayed, the John merrick project for instance, one of my life plans is still to produce the (fake) video game that goes with the horrible plans of flex busterman, which was one of the early DHR release just on principle, y'know, somebody should and well it is what I do, afterall.

www.nature boy jim kelly.com still takes up my ears, ex new kingdom spin off. www.rabbit junk.com has been listened to somewhat recently. I'll also admit to liking the recent morrisey album just on the grounds that I should mention something almost mainstream I could also say shangri las but that's 40 years too late to be considered. Also fighting cocks , negativland , corporate avenger and I'm bored now.

foods

I dream of the usual, a fresh cow carcass injected to bursting with cheese and then deep fried.

Bandwidth, bandwidth, bandwidth, bandwidth, bandwidth and bandwidth.

Instantly adding Stuff to my profile, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Principia Discordia

Confused.

I have played too much samba de amigo, certain songs have been burnt permanently into my mind. I fear that I may accidentally end up in some really crappy club or bar, one so bad that it will play one of these songs. Lets for instance, call this track the macarena. I have purposefully taught my body a maraca dance, its burnt into my mind, if I'm drunk it may float to the surface and I feel I cannot be held responsible for what may happen next.

Your kinda bored or your kinda insane or your kinda both. Or maybe even if you just want to shout "YOU'RE!" at me :)