In the rain my brain flared up, raw flowers!

The older I get, the less concerned I am with identity politics and the more I focus on intangibles, like kindness and authenticity. The best gauge I know for compatibility is the answer to the question: "How do I feel after spending time with this person?"

mymantraisyum and I met right here on OKC in 2008. Now we live together. At the moment, we're a package deal. What kind of package, you ask? Just ask.

Love might be infinite, but time and energy are not. I'm not sure how many lovers any one person can attend to while also working full-time, writing, having a sweetie, spending time with friends, getting from point A to point B, doing the dishes, exercising, and [insert value of X here]. I do believe it's important to meet new people and make new friends. Especially if you throw big potlucks.

Sexuality is a fluid, mysterious, and lovely thing, in all its forms and variations. Are you sure you know everything there is to know about yours?

trudging the road of happy destiny.

writing poetry. I've been published, so it must be true ::wry face::

Tweaking designs. Untangling complex table structures in HTML. Forgetting and remembering CSS syntax. Helping other people figure out how to use technology. Blogging for pleasure, not SEO.

Taking charge. Running effective meetings. Documenting the crap of out stuff. Noticing typos in my documentation two days after I've emailed it to everyone.

Subverting the dominant paradigm. Ranting about social and economic injustice, racism, sexism, homophobia, and the medically manufactured "obesity epidemic," and then getting distracted by cupcakes.

Lifting heavy things without pulling my back. Walking 10 miles and then eating brownie sundaes.

Navigating streets, cities, people, and virtual spaces.

Cooking. Making other people feel loved. Listening. Hugs.

Choosing colors. Supporting local artists, businesses, and farms. Astounding people with my ability to recall random pieces of information. Discerning the ingredients of food by taste.

Ignoring all the things I'm good at and focusing on what needs to be improved.

Nowadays, they probably notice my rad asymmetrical haircut.

I also have a big ass, which appears to be attractive to some people.

Books: (Deep breath)
Most of Barbara Kingsolver's work, especially The Poisonwood Bible. But not Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, which was a smug, didactic piece of mental masturbation -- and not in the sexy way either.

Well-written science fiction and fantasy, which can be hard to find. Ursula LeGuin is probably the best. Kushiel's Dart was a joy to read, but the sequels were less so. Anne McCaffrey, Frank Herbert, Isaac Asimov, Robert Heinlein, Terry Pratchett, Marion Zimmer Bradley (The Darkover Renunciate books and Mists of Avalon books). Octavia Butler, especially the Xenogenesis books.

Poetry, yes, poetry. I wrote my thesis on Adrienne Rich and her books are still on my bookshelf, along with a constantly rotating supply of chapbooks and other slim volumes of poetry. And I'm still utterly clueless and out of the loop about who is big enough to be reading at AWP.

This list is a little heavy on the pop culture stuff, but I've read the classics too -- even Chaucer in Middle English.

Here's my profile on Goodreads

In my early 30s I discovered graphic novels and comics. I'm especially fond of anything written by women (yes, women not only read comics, but they write and draw them too): Jessica Abel (ArtBabe), Gabrielle Bell (When I'm Old and Other Stories), Roberta Gregory (Naughty Bits), and Marjane Sartrapi (Persepolis). X-Men, Alan Moore, Batwoman, The Guild, and many other titles. I have a substantial pull list at Million Year Picnic. My partner thinks Comicopia is better but I think it's just closer.

Movies: I Heart Huckabees. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Garden State. Casablanca. All About Eve. Inception. Children of Men made me bawl like a baby. District 9 scarred me for life. I refused to watch Zombieland when it was in theaters but I enjoyed it later on DVD. Unfortunately, most of the movies I see these days have explosions in them instead of coherent stories or interesting characters.

Music: Most of it. No, really. Classical, jazz, pop, rock, hip-hop, bla bla bla bla bla bla. Last things I ripped or purchased: Black Prairie, Lady Gaga, Broken Bells, Spin Doctors, Citizen Cope, The Avett Brothers, The Who, Kanye West, Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch. I have no shame.

Food: I'm a fan of fresh, local vegetables and fruits, Fage plain greek yogurt, whole grains, meat from animals that lived and died well, native shellfish and other seafood, and dark chocolate. I like to cook when I can, but I have only so much energy and time, and Boston's got way too many good restaurants to choose from.

If I wanted to be a smartass, I'd say food, shelter, bla bla bla. But I'm not a smartass. Shut up. I am not.

1) Connection to a community of like-minded people.

2) Art - in all its forms.

3) Bare feet in the grass.

4) Access to really excellent health care

5) Telling the truth.

6) Sex and snuggling -- I need both in equal proportions.

awkward things I said ten years ago and how embarrassed I still am by them.

On Fridays I tend to be more interested in chillin' like a villain than partying like it's 1999.

I like to be the recipient of excellent customer service.

you think I would be fun to talk to. I am fine with Internets-only friends and am also happy to meet in person -- provided you live closer than East Bumblefuck.

Please note that mymantraisyum and I are a package deal, so if you're interested in meeting me for sexy fun time, you should check him out as well. We're in it for the lulz, though, not just for the sexz. So if you want to meet us both, we won't expect that that means you want to sleep with us.

Also, please note that both I and my partner are trans-friendly. Sorry, the "looking for" options on this site are less than ideal. If you'd like more specifics on compatible anatomy, please message me.

I'm especially fond of people with equal shares of emotional intelligence, street smarts, art smarts, and book smarts.

Fat haters need not apply.

Also: we have two cats. Medicate if necessary.