You know those all-American, normal guys who watch ESPN, have an assortment of Badger and Packer shirts, hang out at all the trendy bars, get psyched over big budget action movies, listen to JJO, quote Dane Cook, and live for sporting events? You know those guys, right? The kind that your friends are dating, who work in the cube next to you, and are happy to let you preview that hot new Coldplay single on their iPod? You know the kind of guy thinks a pair of Levi's, tennis shoes, and an un-tucked shirt are perfect attire for a fancy restaurant? Yeah, you know the type, but I'm not one of them.

If you're looking to date some one so abjectly normal, mundane, and devoid of anything different about them, then you won't like me too much.
If you really want to meet the same guy as your last boyfriend, except just with a different face, then you should stop reading here. I'm not your guy.

What makes me so special? Well, I'm not sure I'm special. Just not so stereotypical. However, I am:
* Independent by nature, but very affectionate and attentive.
* A romantic at heart who believes that chivalry is not dead - just endangered.
* An intellectually-inclined adult who loves to talk about philosophy, and is also a big kid at heart who wonders at nature and the outdoors.
* A man with a pithy, sarcastic, and edgy sense of humor with a heart of gold and enjoys entertaining people and is very sincere.

OK, ladies, I won't sugar-coat this.
You should know up front that I'm a bit of a geek. You're thinking, "Oh wow, really!? No shit? The guy with a 'few extra pounds' isn't a pretty-boy sport-o type who can quote baseball statistics? Never would have guessed." Ha ha.
Yah. That's what I'm saying. But before you navigate away, let me tell you what you're missing.

First of all, my "geek" does not mean I play World of Warcraft 40 hours a week (I don't even play online games), I actually shower twice a day (three times when I go to the gym), I don't open conversations with people by quoting Star Wars and hope they'll get it, and I don't have Superman bedsheets.
It's just that my interests are simply a bit different than a lot of guys. I enjoy:
Outdoor photography (but could be better at it), board games/tabletop games, camping (OK, so that's fairly 'normal'), Industrial/Electronic/EBM music and clubs, Airsoft (which is kind of like Paintball, but better), the symphony, art and museum exhibits, nature hikes, painting/drawing, Adult Swim and similar programs, and martial arts.

I don't expect a woman to take part in all of my interests. She does not even have to understand my interests. She just needs to be able to accept them. So if you're the kind of woman who scoffed and rolled her eyes at any of my hobbies, please take that bitchy attitude to your local "Joe jock-average" who played high school football and now works a dead-end job. I'm sure you'd be a great match for him. I'm not going to apologize for being myself just because I'm not another one of those unquestionably-consuming drones like your ex.
No, I'm not always this caustic. I'm just being honest, realistic, and I'm tired of meeting women who think that important social issues can be found on MTV and the cover of trash tabloids. :P

You'll never find me in front of the TV watching football and choking myself on cheap beer, and I won't beg you to go to the latest, big budget, "boobs & explosions" Hollywood cinematic abortion (but I may make fun of it with you).
However, I don't mind meeting women who enjoy those things, so long as your entire life does not revolve around it. That's my big turn-off.
So if you think you can join me in seeing an underground band at a hole-in-the-wall bar, spend a day in Chicago seeing museums and eating at quaint restaurants, drive to Milwaukee for German Fest, trek with me through the woods to take photos of some herons or turtles, or have deep conversations as we have a late night picnic under the Pleiades Meteor Shower, then write me.

I'm sick of all my friends and family telling me, "You're such an awesome guy. Some woman is going to find herself very lucky to be with you some day."
Naturally, I tell them, "Well, sure, of course you'd say that. You're my sister/grandfather/friend/whatever. You're obligated."
And they say, "Nuh-uh. I'm totally serious. You really do rock. Super swear!"
Well, OK, maybe it doesn't go like that, but you get the idea. :D

Well, ladies, let's prove me wrong and all of them right at the same time. ;)

In no particular order:
* Photography

* Playing video games and being terrible at them.

* Trying to engineer my own living dinosaur out of bacon, vinegar, baking soda, and toothpaste. I think toothpaste is the key. Oh, you may laugh now, but when I'm riding to work on the back of a Styracosaurus, people will be all like, "OH SHIT! He did it!"

* Little artistic and literary projects

* Working on my shape/appearance

* Random weekend excursions, usually for geeky hobbies.

* Gushing over puppies. Puppies are so cool. I want a puppy... *ponders* and waffles... but not at the same time. Why would you think that!? Puppy-waffles!!?? That's just sick. Do you have any regular waffles?

* Trying to meet people (socially and romantically)

* Developing my plot to take over the world -- someone has to save it from ourselves.
I'm also starting a T.O.S (Terminate On Sight) list for my cadre of power-amroured shock-troops, once I get around the engineering limitations of developing power armour for mice.
Positions I am presently interviewing for in the glorious new order are: Empress (or concubine for lack thereof), Personal Bodyguard, someone to run around all day through the streets screaming about how beautiful my eyes are (aka - Propagandist), Bedtime Storyteller (I like stories about fox kits, turtles, frogs, and squirrels all living by a clear stream in the woods), Hair Stylist (even though I intend to continue to shave my head), and someone to gnaw off my own hangnails -- I should not have to do it myself.

* Preparing for school, freaking out about school.

* Micromanaging my to-do list

* By dropping subtle hints over a long period of time, I'm convincing the young, naive, pretty, new girls at work of the lie that I killed a man and threw his corpse in an abandoned corn silo somewhere in Central Iowa.

* Playing Airsoft

* Going to movies

* Spending way too much time on my laptop listening to last.fm and Pandora (by the way, why do people who listen to crappy pop music use Pandora to find more crappy pop music? Kinda defeats the purpose.)

* Looking for decent, live music, rarely finding any, and then getting frustrated when I hear of a good band that I missed who played at "X" bar just last week.

* Drinking coffee.

* Developing a telepathic ability to 'asplode a person's head from a distance. Don't worry, I'll only use it on bad people.
Just disregard the moral ambiguity factor and the subjective definition of the word "bad."
So far, I succeeded in giving one dude a headache. My friends say it was because they guy bonked his head on the car as he got out, but I don't know... I was staring and concentrating on him pretty hard.
Fucking tail-gater. :)

Making a good latte.

Singing to myself and thinking it's actually good.

Somewhat regretting my decision to give up seafood for ecological and environmental reasons.

Procrastinati... eh, I'll finish that later.

Making Origami rocks, boulders, and dirt clods. And it only takes me a few seconds!

Making fun of mindless pop culture and blind consumerism.

Pissing off conservative, religiously-devout people. I don't always set out to do so - It just ends up that way some times.

Making children smile.

Making lists and spreadsheets. Seriously, I have been jokingly called Obsessive-Compulsive, but there's probably some truth to that. I micromanage my To-Do list.

Obsessing over music - there are times where I will listen to the same song, over and over, for many hours straight... sometimes even days.
You should see how I organize my CD collection and playlists.

Being a Romantic. Seriously. I'm normally pretty modest, but I'm a very romantic guy. You'll have to date me if you want examples. I'm not going to ruin the surprise here.

Reporting photos on this site that don't meet the requirements. You're no better than anyone else, and you can abide by the requirements, too.
And why would you want people to judge you on a close-up of your tattoo, anyhow?

Cooking. I can cook better than most men I know. And no, I don't consider frozen pizzas, hot pockets, and processed chicken patties 'food.'

Showing affection and camaraderie to people who are important to me. I'm very much a hugger, even to the guys on my Airsoft team, and even if it means they give me weird looks.

Providing a wise and insightful perspective to my friends regarding their life and problems.

Going into damage-control mode during a crisis and getting stuff figured out. I'll rant, vent, and complain, but when I'm done, I simply power through the problem.

I don't know and I really don't care. I think it's my size or that I shave my head. Whatever.

Allow me to be very honest about something...
I had spinal surgery a year ago. I was laid up, stuck home alone, and in incredible pain for 3 months. I have always been a big, "barrel-chested" guy, but I gained a lot of weight in that time. I have tried losing it, but it has been a constant roller coaster of loss and gain because of pain from nerve and joint damage, and the risk of re-injury. Even now I need to be careful how much stress I put on it.
I'm trying to work on my health and shape, but I'm a work in progress, and it will take time. I'm self-conscious about my shape, so if I'm going to date someone, she needs to be forgiving and tactful.

Music... My CD collection consists of a lot of albums within a lot of different genres: Punk, Metal, and Rock (and their related sub-genres), but a majority of my CD collection is dedicated to Industrial (and related sub-genres), Classical, Romantic, and I have 42 CD's by one particular band - the best rock band to ever grace the planet.

Last 5 CD's in my car:
Sparta - Wiretap Scars
Faith No More - Angel Dust
Ken Andrews - Secrets of the Lost Satellites
Skinny Puppy - The Process
Arvo Part - Alina

Food... I'll try anything once, with few exceptions. However, I have a weakness for Italian, Indian, and a good ol' steak with potatoes. *sigh* I'd be a vegetarian if meat substitutes didn't taste like crap. I have tried plenty, and nothing has come close yet (IMHO).

Here's a list of the last 5 DVD's I put through my player:
Rushmore
The Thing
Venture Bros. Season 3
Invader Zim
Any number of documentaries on any number of topics.

Last 5 items I read:
Stranger in a Strange Land (again)
Human Error Processor
The Onion (every week)
*One of the magazines I subscribe to*
Anthem (again)

Hmm... I have been reading a lot of the same stuff over. Send me some suggestions.

My species comes from beyond all known time and space; from a place where the stars no longer shine. Our needs would be inconceivable to your race.

OK, seriously though, besides life essentials (food, shelter, blah blah blah), in no particular order...

- Normally I would say "my closest friends." I love them very much, but let's face it; because they live so far away, I have been doing without them for years. I'm trying to make my current "good friends" into "close friends." I'm afraid I'm not doing a very good job.

So, how about... umm... I dunno... an escape from reality. Like video games, movies, or Airsoft. All in healthy/moderate doses, of course.

- Good coffee. I mean good coffee. Not that Starbucks shit, and I'm not just saying that because it's fashionable to dislike Starbucks. I really am a coffee snob.:D

- The feel of a soothing breeze on my face. No matter how bad of a day I'm having, if I sit where I can feel the breeze on my face and hear the rustling of the leaves (preferably as a beautiful thunderstorm is rolling in), away from other people, all my problems disappear.

- Water. I have some strange primal fascination with it and everything that lives in it (and sometimes a fear of what lives in it). I'll splash in a clear stream or gaze into a deep puddle every chance I get.

- My huge, legitimately-purchased, never-downloaded music collection. Fuck piracy, fuck Limewire, and fuck your 60Gig iPod full of songs that you didn't pay one cent for. Most of the musicians I listen to are not all that mainstream anyhow. They work for a living, are signed to small labels, and they master their own recordings, so they deserve every penny I pay for their music.
*Voice-over*
"Did you know that for the cost of just one CD, you can feed a starving, Independent or Small-Label musician for an entire day? Think about the impact you could have on a life by giving a CD a loving home. You'll get to experience the reward and joy of that music forever. Isn't that worth the cost of feeding a starving artist for a day? Won't you please help?"

- An internet connection. I long for the days where wireless Wetware is a reality. How awesome would it be to be a Cyborg... or... how terrible. Constant upgrades. *sigh*

Whether or not I was born in the wrong century.

How I can be a positive influence on my nephew despite living so far away.

If machines ever become self-aware, would they believe in God and would they experience individuality?

My artistic projects and photo shoots.

Aquatic Ecology.

Why people are cattle.

If that kinda nerdy, kinda quirky-looking girl on the other side of the cafe/restaurant/office/park is single, if she realizes just how interesting-looking and attractive she is, and if she gets overlooked by men... and why I'm too afraid to talk to her for fear of it coming off as some kind of transparent, bullshit pick-up line.

Cephalopods and Amphibians.

Celestial and cosmic phenomena.

If my profile makes me come off as more of an asshole than I really am. :(

Chasing thunderstorms.

My truly bizarre, wondrous, and sometimes terrifying, dreams.

Anything philosophical or intellectual, even if I don't truly understand it.

What the hell is wrong who believe that their oppressive religious/political beliefs should be inflicted on everyone.

Beating aggressive drivers with a canoe oar. :D

Sex. Yes, I said it. I'm not a cheat, nor do I bang random drunken bar sluts, but the intensity of that connection with a woman is just... just... *groans* It's something I miss. :(

The music in my head. There's always music in my head.

Whether or not engineering an-encephalitic human clones for organ harvesting would be ethical.

Why there are no basic standards among people for honor, honesty, and modesty anymore.

If I could survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Most people think they could, but the reality is far different. I think I could, but sometimes I wonder.

What kind of fabulous and frightening technology the government is hiding from us. Did you know the technology you're using for your modern cell phones was created and used by the US military 30 years prior?

Whether or not I have Adult Attention Deficit Disor HEY! LOOK AT THAT TREE FROG! Did you know that amphibians are key Indicator Species and their numbers are kept careful trac...
What was I originally talking about again? Oh yeah... STAY OUT OF MY BOOZE!

Why people can't be honest with themselves, much less other people, and why people are in so much denial about the most obvious truths in everyday life.

How much it annoys me that people still use the word "Alternative" to describe their taste in bad, popular music. Alternative Music spun a chrysalis and turned into "Indie" just so it could sprout wings and get away from people who think Coldplay, White Stripes, and Fallout Boy are anything other than Pop-Rock. :P
If you can walk into a Wal Mart and buy a band's entire discography, you have pretty much hit the apex of "Pop."
Sorry to go off. I'm just tired of my coworkers subjecting me to their crappy taste in music every day.

Relaxing, cooking myself a nice meal, and getting ready for whatever I have planned over the weekend. So in other words: nothing.
Exciting, eh?

I'll give you two...

I once performed a prank that went horribly, horribly wrong (or "right" depending on how you look at it), and were I caught, I would have been charged with a felony and imprisoned for many, many years.

Part of the reason I shave my head is to look more imposing or intimidating. I got tired of being known as a "nice guy," getting walked all over, and treated like a doormat. I'd rather look unapproachable and surprise people with how personable I am than be taken advantage. It seems to work.

Oh geez, I don't know.
If you like geeky, overweight, somewhat introspective white guys who think too much.

You have a puppy I can play with.

You're not afraid to take the initiative. If I looked at your profile but didn't write, that doesn't mean I would not mind hearing from you. ;)

If you know a place I have not been to where I can get a good latte.

If you're looking to make some money by doing some modeling work (and no, I don't ask you to get naked); I need new reference material for artwork.

If you are looking for someone to have interesting conversations with.

If you want to get together with other nerds, geeks, and intellectual types for a movie night, dinner night, game night, or whatever sounds like fun.

And please don't "Wink" at me. Saying something interesting will get you my attention and respect more than simply pressing a button.