Fuck you, I'm awesome.

I am serious about this.

(also, sorry ladies, but i am unapologetically spoke fer. however, i am always looking for cool dudes and awesome ladies to get drunk and/or crunk with. if you live around atlanta and want to rock out like warriors at the gates of dawn, fuckin' holler.)

ferfin' my way through grad school, practicing my Johnny Cash impression, collecting dust, toys, and debt.

Finding ridiculous things on the internet. Ferreting information away in my brain. Driving. Hopefully, not flunking out of grad school. I'm a pretty decent house painter. Coming up with dumbass plans that I'll never carry out (example: trying out for "American Idol", despite the fact that I'm a mediocre, if enthusiastic, singer at best). Making stuff up.

That I'm awesome. And loud.

Oh, lawsey:

*Music. i resent the shit out of people who say they listen to "everything but country and rap" because you're really painting yourself out of some very interesting corners. i defy you to listen to merle haggard's "mama tried" and not feel the hell out of what that man is saying.

*People to talk to or some other means of blabbing about crap.

*A sense of humor.

*The honest and firm belief that, in the end, things will probably work out in a relatively OK fashion.

*Something to collect and/or obcess over. Whether it's action figures or information or phone ringers or CDs or just brightly colored pieces of paper, I have a tendency to find something, focus on it, and then chase it until either it gets tired or I do.

*Clothes. I'd hate to have to go all over the place naked. That might be a bit awkward, unless it was some kind of post-apocalyptic scenario where I was the Last Man On Earth and there weren't any people about to gawk, but even then, I'd like something to keep my junk from snagging on a bush or whatever.

Angelo Moore, lead singer of Fishbone. It's got to be pretty damn crazy up inside his skull. Party at Ground Zero, indeed.

(hey. they changed this question since I answered it. it used to be something about swapping brains. however, that makes this answer even funnier, so fuck it.)

Either out with friends drinking or at home fighting the internet in a five million on one cage match.

I'm an enormous dorkus malorkus.

you think i'm sexy aaaand you want my body, cooooome on baby, let me know.