I was going to edit down my profile into something short and punchy. After all, who has time in this modern world to read more than a few lines sprinkled with post-modern irony? Then I realised that the profiles I enjoy reading the most tend to be book length rather than mere snippets. I like the window into another persons thinking that only a rambling monologue can provide. So I'm keeping my inordinately long profile in the hope that fellow ramblers may stop by and appreciate the journey (oh, and you procrastinators are welcome too). If you're curious as to the user name, it comes from the poker expression 'better lucky than good'.

I originally thought I was going to end up as an academic, but took five years out whilst I tried to find funding, during which I learned that I'm not cut out for a life working in the city. Don't get me wrong, working with stocks and shares was interesting (I was a distinctly unglamorous back office worker, not a trader) but I'm just not a 9-5 office worker by nature. I finally managed to snag PhD funding, only to find out that I don't have what it takes to be an academic either. Which was nice...

It's now four years on from that point and I've finally begun to break out of the depression I was in. There's no point in me trying to hide it; you should see me squirm when someone asks me what I'm doing at the moment. I originally joined OKCupid when I started therapy, what better place to do some informal personality testing? I'm still here for the tests, but as I hinted at above I also enjoy reading profiles. If I happen to stumble across Ms. Right as I do so, then so much the better. I suppose I am looking for a Hermine to educate my Harry Haller although I'll settle for being a Hermione to your Harry Potter.

With every website and his dog now offering blogs, I've no intention of posting to them all... Live Journal covers "general" and MySpace does "live music" and I guess I'll put OKCupid/dating related here. Given the distinct lack of dating action in my life, I don't expect it to be a hive of activity. So I've started mirroring some of the posts from my main blog here just to save you the effort of clicking the link. Aren't I nice?

As a dyed in the wool camera dodger, I've always had a knack for taking that last-second strategic move-out-of-shot step and as such there are only a few photos with me in them that haven't subsequently been attached to an ID card. Of those few, they are all either very low resolution or feature large crowds of people who don't deserve the stigma of being associated with me on OKCupid. I am currently developing my action plan to remedy this. In the words of Calvin in response to the question of how far he's got with his homework, "I've *nearly* started". Just to clarify (and to prevent potential squinting injuries), that being quite chubby I do indeed have a pot belly. I also wear glasses and have a receding hairline. Pure sex, in other words.

I've never known my IM to work, so please don't think I'm ignoring you if I don't reply to an IM.

/me squirms

Well, I suppose I better at least try to say something. I'm currently trying to find a new purpose in life. No idea what I'll end up doing, but until I can find that direction, I'm concentrating on making sure I actually do stuff. So I'm going to gigs, sorting out some volunteer work, meeting up with friends I haven't seen in ages and trying to find cool adventures to have.

Eating pizza, talking bollocks convincingly and looking scruffy.

I nearly always seem to get mentally catalogued as being a geek. Suffice to say that, second only to doctor, a geek is the worst thing to be in the face of small talk. Some people get to talk about the weather occasionally, I get to offer advice on how to write macros in Word.

Away with the huge lists which fill much space but say little. Part of the reason why the old lists got so long is that nothing ever gets left behind. Once I realise I like something, I'll always have a soft spot for it.

Books: Although I mainly read sci-fi/fantasy, I've never been entirely comfortable with my inner nerd. It's revenge on me is to somehow restrict my literary diet, which results in an acute case of classical literature envy. I genuinely respect well-read people, quite why I never take the time to educate myself I have no real idea. I do like "normal" books as well, I just tend not to read them often. Favourite authors: Terry Pratchett (well, that's practically mandatory for the genre), Iain (M) Banks, Jim Butcher, Robin Hobb, KJ Parker, Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbes is classic literature, right?). Whilst I think most Tom Holt books are fantasy popcorn, I do have a soft spot for the wonderfully well-written "The Walled Orchard". Two books I'll always recommend: "Colours in the Steel" by KJ Parker and "Only Forward" by Michael Marshall Smith.

Laurell K Hamilton has been kicked off the list - there's a limit to the amount of badly-written vampire porn I can stomach, not something I thought I'd ever admit to. I think it was when she used the word "cervix" in a sex scene that finally convinced me.

Films: Casablanca, Shawshank Redemption, Cyrano de Bergerac, Garden State, The Matrix (but under no circumstances does this include the sequels), Jungle Book (original Disney animated version, of course). My normal instinctive reaction to this kind of question is to list umpty-billion films that I like, but that's probably not too useful. Um, I like the Coen brothers but not Wes Anderson which probably makes me some kind of heretic. I'm also convinced that Bogus Journey is better than Excellent Adventure. It's possibly ironic that the one film that I can watch over and over again is Groundhog Day (despite Andi McDowell's tree-like performance).

Music: Pretty much anything other than free-form jazz, although I admit to a leaning toward 80's metal and mildly depressed female chanteuses.
LastFm if you need details. I'm currently particularly loving Kate Rogers, Elbow and Emiliana Torrini at the moment. If no prisoners are to be taken, then Queen Adreena does the job ably. If you fancy bouncing songs back and forth, you can find me on Blip.fm (http://blip.fm/Betterlucky).

Food: curry (lamb gosht probably is #1 at the mo), pizza (toss up between spicy chicken and anything with pepperoni), lasagne (veggie), roast chicken (and all the trimmings), beef in red wine sauce (ala Dave). It seems that most people I have a high match rating with are veggies. I can relate to that, I was one myself for over a year. But meat just tastes so good. That said, I'm beginning to lean toward going veggie again... principles vs. pleasure. I'm weak, what can I say?

As an extra, I thought I'd also chuck in TV series. Coupling (UK version obviously - series III is dodgy, I dont own IV as it's awful, but the first two are genius), Firefly, Spaced, Angel. I also miss having Dead Like Me, Space: Above and Beyond and Black Books around. I currently only stop for House, Family Guy, Scrubs and Legend of the Seeker (and the other usual suspects like Have I Got News and Mock The Week). I recently got very excited to hear they were releasing a Firefly-esque film for Dead Like Me. I loved Channel 4's English civil war masterpiece, "The Devil's Whore". That said, there is a limit to how much tragedy I can bear at one time. So with BSG being so grim, I used to try to avoid too much more. I was very disappointed with the ending of BSG, but I'll forgive them as I enjoyed the ride while it lasted.

Access to the country/sea-side, impulse buys via the internet, cups of tea, something to read whilst on the loo*, my music collection (80gb iPods ftw), my duvet.

* Odd fact, I get a desperate need to read whilst on the loo. It doesn't matter if it's a shampoo bottle or a dictionary, but there's often a frantic last second search for something... *anything*. I have no idea why this might be so.

Well, I'm something of a mono-maniac so it's usually intensely one thing for a few days at a time. Current topics include:

Getting fit (I'm tempted by a boxercise course I saw - I'm not naturally violent, but sometimes I just need to give something inanimate a good twatting).

Getting around to actually using my recently obtained RYA sailing qualification, though some nice weather for a change would help on that front.

Wondering if Ken McCleod's "Stone Canal" was meant to be a modern re-working of Heinlein's "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress"?

Trying to work out what the hell I want to do with my life. In the short term, should I volunteer at the Dogs Trust or risk an embarassing book related self-control failure by working at the Oxfam bookshop in Headingley?

Why I keep getting excited at seeing 90%+ matches and then seeing they've only answered 15 questions and so should only be able to score a maximum of 80%. Damn you OKCupid's bugged matching system!

Otherwise after a few beers it tends to be more solving the world's problems, determining the nature of reality and how that relates to consciousness or wondering if children's author Madonna shows her first picture book to the kiddies.

Not so keen on the packed city centre pubs, so I prefer to go out drinking on other nights. Poker nights are cool, though not that common these days. I guess most Fridays I'm at home pottering around these days. I do get the odd urge to cycle into the countryside away from the streetlights to look at the stars.

I find the WoW endgame fairly dull, so my hunter is pretty much gathering dust these days.

Although most of my thinking in tinged with pessimism (something I am trying to address), I've always been a romantic at heart. I sometimes wonder what a classical romantic would do with OKCupid? I can't imagine Cyrano thinking, "Well, she's a 95% match but as she's 3000 miles away I won't bother". No, he'd fly out there, say hello in passing and then become a vagrant in her town, watching from afar before dying a tragic, early death.

So... maybe he's not the best role model.

You fancy spending time in idle conversation. Go on, you know you want to really. I've seen mention in a couple of places that sometimes women don't wan't to seem forward or to intimidate guys by making the first move. Wow... and I thought we lived in the 21st Century. If you prefer to be the woo-ee rather than the woo-er, that's fine but remember this is the internets right here. I can't see that come-hither look, nor the delicately raised eyebrow, so you'll have to at least give me a hint that the game is afoot.

Oh, and lastly, I have two browsing modes, one more predatory than the other. If I've appeared on your stalker list but not messaged, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm not interested. It's as likely that I've just wandered past you on low-energy curiousity mode.