quickmatch: heaventwig

Teamwork, movement (dance, martial arts, and anything else using the body), stories, and food are at the center of my life. At the forefront, currently: chocolate.

I value consent as the basis of ethical behavior, giving and receiving Love as the purpose of existence, and teamwork as the way we get things done in the world.

I find my way into my life by doing again those things which I enjoy, and changing those things which I do not.

The people I want in my life are full of confidence, self-discipline, and clarity (about wants, needs, desires, and boundaries); their lives are going well, and they're excited to see my life go well too. We enjoy each other's presence in our respective lives with ease and grace; we let go of that which is not rewarding, and pursue that which is; we trust that we will thus discover ourselves to be living in whatever relationships are to be in our lives.

I'm a Quaker, but okcupid doesn't have an option for "we are all divine, and I'm laughing about it". Nor do they have an option for mystic Quakers who adore Rumi, recognize the irrationality of their spiritual experiences, and generally defy categorization. It's hard for me to claim Christianity when so many so-called Christians seem to miss Christ's essential message of love, and it seems misleading to say I'm "taking it seriously" when the Spirit brings me so much joy and laughter. I believe there is a power that connects us all, dwells in us all, and is accessible to all. It's more important to me to be guided by that power than to follow my ideas about what I'm supposed to do.

Politically, I identify as an eco-socialist anarcho-syndicalist consent-oriented Democrat. I might also call myself a congenialist, but the term isn't really in common usage yet (having just been coined by my brother, some friends, and me in an English pub over some beers in December 2008).

I am relaxed, smiling, and listening deeply

My purpose is to replace coercion with consent as the normal way folks get things done.

Right now, I'm producing and selling spreadable chocolate. It may take several generations to bring about the vision I have for the company (a global chocolate collective working for world peace through sexy dessert for everyone). At some point, this is likely to involve a shift toward teaching creative conflict resolution skills, and learning from people of all ages about how they can change the world.

The following is a partial list of things that I've been told that I'm surprisingly good at, but which usually seem really simple to me:

• dance; kinesthetic learning; anything that involves moving my body
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• storytelling
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• facilitation of groups
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• teaching
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• organization and/or organizing
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• remaining calm in crisis situations
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• learning languages
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• writing
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• listening
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• anything involving food
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• decisionmaking
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• summarizing
• 
  
• ...

The completion of this list is left as an exercise for the reader.

Chocolate. Or my dancing. Possibly it's the way I hold a space for a group of people. How I relax and pay attention. The soft smile in my eyes. The simplicity and directness with which I handle requests. My kindness toward strangers.

a) My goodreads.com profile has a list of (some of) the books I've read, sorted according to how well I liked them. A few essentials, if you want to understand my attitude and what I'm doing in the world: Nonviolent Communication, Community, We the People, Getting Things Done, Good to Great, Built to Last, Conscious Living.

b) In general, while I'd usually prefer to make up stories than sit in a theater, I do find some films provide inspiration for my own creativity. Based on some 300+ ratings (as of September 2009), Netflix expects me to like imaginative sci-fi & fantasy, feel-good comedies with a strong female lead, inspiring underdog movies based on real life, critically acclaimed dysfunctional-family movies, emotional dramas, dramas about food, and romantic indie flicks – especially if they're British. (I'd link to my profile there, but haven't found a publicly viewable page.)

c) I've started using last.fm to track my music listening. That's a fairly accurate reflection of my habits and preferences. You can also find there a list of my absolutely favorite songs (not including classical pieces).

d) Chocolate. Sushi. Local, fresh, seasonal foods. High-quality ingredients with minimalist preparation. To see what I've been eating, search Twitter for "#tweat from:heaventwig".

When preparing food, I occasionally refer to my copy of "Joy of Cooking", but much more frequently turn to Mark Bittman's "How to Cook Everything" for guidance or a reminder. My old vegan/vegetarian cookbooks tend to gather dust, as I don't go much for elaborate recipes - the exceptions being "The Mediterranean Vegan Kitchen" and "Blissful Detox," each of which contains a few favorites. I expect I'll eventually get a copy of the Americas Test Kitchen "Best Recipes" book, but it can probably wait. I'm already an accomplished baker of vegan desserts (which is funny, given that I'm no longer vegan, but useful given an allergy to eggs and dairy). The next area in which I want to focus my culinary skill-building is in the realm of ultra-local seasonal foods. I have the joy of receiving compliments on my food from friends who have worked in the high-end restaurant industry for over twenty-five years.

Wilderness.

The Tao, regardless of what we call it.

My brothers, Nate and stilledthinking.

A team.

Good food; real nourishment.

Creative applications of mathematics.

Spirituality, creativity, body movement, sexuality, creative solutions to conflict, community, wilderness, diplomacy, decisionmaking, chocolate, and activism all hold my interest. I love to make and share food.

Systems and rulesets, business models, technology & applied science, permaculture, magic, and fantasy draw my attention. I’m curious about human development at all ages.

I attend with excellence to matters of leadership, other people’s questions about how to accomplish their goals, plans for getting from A to B (in any metric space, even if the metric is not yet defined), best practices, and performance assessments and/or evaluations.

I am energized by engaging with my interest in games, construction techniques (for whatever), and nature – especially trees, water, and mountains.

I am most skilled at, and energized by, engaging with stories, decisionmaking systems, management practices, new dance moves (and other new ways of moving), and massively coordinated action.

I think a lot about how to build my business and my life.

• Moving my body (dancing);
• telling stories;
• collaborating on something;
• making and sharing food; and/or
• cultivating friendship.

But really, this question seems intended to assess what activities one engages in during leisure time, so...

With my friends, I like talking about life, sharing a meal, hanging out at the arcade, wandering in a park, hiking, stargazing, playing games (strategic, theatrical, cooperative, tactical, and/or "new"), singing, telling stories, dancing, reading and reciting poetry, etc. That which ordinary men are fit for, I am qualified in, and the best of me is diligence.

I enjoy movie-watching and computer games, but I'd rather spend time interacting with other people than staring at a screen. Which is funny, given the medium here, but it's true – most of the messages I send on here are along the lines of "let's meet".

When I have a suitable buddy around, I also enjoy sparring and swordplay.

I talk with everyone with whom I share a kiss about what's in our saliva before we start swapping it. This extends logically to other behaviors too.

Also, with all the information you have about me from this profile, you could probably find my blog, all my public online profiles, and my real-world location. Since those are things that all sorts of people find every day, I'll just give it to you – that way, nice people like you will outnumber the creepy stalkers who were going to find me anyway (but who do not, in fact, appear to have done so - thank goodness).

Don't be a stranger.

You're right to think I nevertheless retain some measure of privacy.

Please, send me a message if you:

• noticed something in my profile that you value;
• have something to share with me that you imagine I would value;
• want to befriend me;
• want to get together for a conversation, especially if you are or would like to be among my metamours;
• want someone with whom to move your body (dance partner, sparring partner, cuddle buddy, ...);
• want to make and share food with each other (including chocolate);
• want someone with whom to enjoy stories (crafting, reciting, or observing; staged, filmed, or in-person; public or private; ...); and/or
• want someone to facilitate a team (any group working together for a common purpose).

If you're excited about directness and clarity, that's likely a good omen. As a matter of fact, I'll give you a treat: I want people in my life who enjoy being friends with former (or potential, or formerly potential, or potentially former) romantic partners, and who are excited at the notion of having a partner who waits at least six months before committing to romantic or sexual exclusivity (if ever; it seems less and less likely that my unique relationship with one person could leave me uninterested in all the others).

Also worth noting: I won't form primary relationships with people who smoke (anything) or use illegal drugs. And I don't respond (much) to messages that deviate significantly from normal English grammar, punctuation, & spelling. Both of these mean that my resources are more available for other things, like responding to you.