I'm not a zombie. I feel like that's important to state up front. I don't want your brains, and I certainly wouldn't come shambling after you in the night.

I used to have this complaint about how only one person listed killing hookers as an interest, but the internet has not failed me. There are 32 of us now. Power to the people. Nothing is funny like dead hooker jokes.

I am whimsycore, and that is what it's all about.

I used to be rocking the woo hijack, but now OKCupid has gone and changed it to a wink! In honor of the new, slightly creepy name, I'm turning the stupid thing off.

Oh, and also, I am cohabiting with, in love with, and going to have babies with sean-head. We're ethically non-monogamous or whatever you'd like to call it. That's my bag.

The vast majority of my time is spent working on building my ultimate fighting robots, which I will use to enslave the masses. This is unfortunate for you in one respect, as you are the masses, but fortunate in that you will provided with all that you could ask for in terms of intellectual nourishment, as long as you serve your benevolent dictator. In my free time I emit a constant buzzing sound which others tell me makes me difficult to get along with. I assume this is simply an indication of their mental weakness, and add them to the list of things my warrior robots will destroy.

I will bet you $10 bucks that my job is more unusual than yours.

I'm really good at word games, and problem solving. I'm an excellent cook and have a KitchenAid mixer about which I have nearly amorous feelings. I'm really good at Set, it is a game, and I admit that I will teach you how to play it so that I can kick your ass. I rule the school at Set. Apparently, unlike many people who protest their discomfort, I'm good at writing profiles, a skill that will get me nowhere in life, but at least I will be very internet popular. I am now accepting payments to rewrite your profile so that no one will be able to tell you're boring until you're up close, at which point the Rohypnol will do all the work. I'm good at reading people, as in empathy, or, if necessary, as in the Riot Act. I'm also skilled with aposiopesis, which is really...

I'm short (5'4), I have large brown eyes and I'm zaftig (haha, look it up). I can't imagine an answer to this question that isn't physical, if we're talking about an in person meeting, which makes this question sort of boring. Apparently I look significantly younger than I am, since a bartender recently carded me (on my 30th birthday no less!) with a "who exactly do you think you're kidding" smirk on his face. I think the dim lighting may have worked in my favor there. Ironically, I'd rather look my age, youthfulness is not actually super helpful in getting people to take you seriously, and I'd rather look like a person with ideas than a person with good genes.

It's been a while since I've updated this, and since it rarely actually indicates my "favorites," but rather what's on my mind recently, it needs an updating.

Books: At the moment, I've been reading Jonathan Strange And Mister Norrell, which I am enjoying so far. I have to admit that my Blackberry and my job and having my emails for my job come to my Blackberry have put a significant dent in the amount of reading I do, since a lot of it is done while sitting around cafes or on transit, which is now occupied by the damn Blackberry.

I would guess that about 90% of what I read is fiction, and of that 40-50% is some kind of spec-fic, sci-fi, fantasy or other "genre fiction." Another 10-15% are things that I'm feeling vaguely embarrassed about not having read yet, like Italo Calvino (on the list for 2009) or Godel, Escher, Bach. I read and reread the books I love, the primary requirement for any purse or bag is that it be large enough to hold a good sized book. If it were actually a private thing, I could put under the "most private thing you're willing to admit" question that I hated "Dune." However, it is not private. I hated "Dune." See.

Movies: Recently, I (re)watched Pan's Labyrinth and there was a director's prologue in which Guillermo Del Toro said, in essence, "I hope you like this movie, because making it almost killed me." Despite the fact that this is very pressuring, this is exactly the kind of movie I like. If someone auctioned off their worldly possessions to raise money, or contemplated suicide during the editing process, I'm more likely to be interested in watching the film. Movies are art, and I like the ones with a bit of blood, sweat and tears in them. This is why I like Terry Gilliam, despite the fact that his films have almost universally bad endings, he always seems like he throws his whole self into the making of them.

Music: Lately I've been recapturing my musical youth, which is apparently mostly Depeche Mode, Creedence Clearwater Revival and The Beastie Boys. Obviously I spent my musical youth in a strange place.

Also I have been listening to Gogol Bordello and Balkan Beat Box, which caused a Ukrainian friend to introduce me to Leningrad (if you got excited when you saw Gogol Bordello in my profile, go check out Leningrad). I picked up a couple of Ladytron's albums after having a copy of "Seventeen" for ages and repeatedly saying, "man, I like that song, I should get some of their other music." I have a problem with doing that a lot, but iTunes and I have a plan to address this issue.

Ladytron is pretty excellent though, you should check them out.

Food: So I just bought a great big teflon pan so I can start learning to make Injera, and by extension, other Ethiopian food. I'm also adding Thai to my learn to cook list. For the month of January, I've decided not to eat any processed sugar (I'm cutting myself a break on things like the small amount of sugar present in bread, though. No reason to go crazy) because I think we as a culture and me as a person eat far too much of the stuff. I am trying to get into the local eating/slow food movements as much as my time will allow. When it comes to eating out, I'm adventurous and willing to try most anything, though I lean towards the spicy and exotic, particularly things I don't yet know how to cook myself.

I used to have the standard "this is a stupid question" response here, and really, it is a stupid question, and I have no idea how to pick six. Therefore, I will just list some things and stop when it stops being easy to think of things.

• Intellectual Stimulation
• Physical Freedom
• Friendships
• Compelling Art
• Irony
• The Internet
• My Sense of Taste, on the tongue and in the mind
• The Natural World
• Language
• The Formation of Above Into Poetry and Fiction
• The Ability To Pointlessly Self-Promote

Language and the way we use it. The senses, mine and others, and how to please them. Cooking. The strange and fascinating ideas that come bouncing out of my boyfriend. Why there are no robot cars yet. Social behavior, social intelligence, the way humans sort themselves. What I want to be when I grow up.

So people are always saying that they don't have a typical Friday night, and while that's pretty much true, I think the real goal is to talk about what you like to do when you are having fun. So, it might be going to the movies, which I love. I don't say going to the movies the way everyone says that's a thing they like doing, I mean that the way the a crowded theatre hushes when the lights go down, the universal gasp as a bad guy pops into the frame, the particular exuberance of opening night crowds, these are things that I love.

So movies might be one thing. It also might be Arrested Development with my boyfriend at home, or going out to a concert or event. I don't like big intensely crowded things, but small venues and good shows rock pretty hard. I love the DNA Lounge in the city and should get up there for shows more often.

The ladies men admire, I’ve heard,
Would shudder at a wicked word.
Their candle gives a single light;
They’d rather stay at home at night.
They do not keep awake till three,
Nor read erotic poetry.
They never sanction the impure,
Nor recognize an overture.
They shrink from powders and from paints ...
So far, I’ve had no complaints.

This bit used to be in my summary, but I realized it was better suited to being here. If you want to know what I want and what I'm about, these various journal posts will tell you a lot. I was once told that my profile and journal were an extremely effective sieve for filtering out the stupid and weak. So enjoy the read, and try not to think about the implications!

My Flavor of Non-Monogamy - In which I explain what my relationship style is all about.
Why I Don't Want To Date Monogamous People - In which I explain that it is nice that you are "cool" with my relationship style, but that doesn't mean we should date.
Some Helpful English Translations - In which I make fun of profile tropes.
How To Make Me Stop Reading Your Profile - In which I make fun of some more profile tropes.
Non-Monogamy Deal Breakers - In which I explain why we still shouldn't date, even though you're not monogamous.
A Special Disclaimer Going Out To All The Ladies - In which I say, "Hi, I am not here to find a "wicked threesome" for me and my boyfriend" using a lot more words than that.
How To Win Me And Influence Me - In which I provide advice on how to contact me, which is probably applicable to women similar to me as well.