I'm a thirtysomething smart sexy kinky queer genderqueer polyamorous wordgeek.

I play with words for a living. It's awesome.

I have a husband (Sinboy)*, a long-distance girlfriend (XtinaS), and a medium-distance not-girlfriend (Mythomane). I'm always looking for more fun people to hang out with. I'm not looking for new people to date. I'm also not not looking for new people to date. Relationships evolve as they will. I have found, however, that my maximum of partner-equivalents is approximately three, and I'm there right now, so set your expectations accordingly.

* Yes, my profile says I'm gay. This is because a) most New York men appear to be either boring or grade-A jerks and b) I only date queers, and I got tired of OkCupid matching me up with straight Sensitive New Age Guys. (Why can't I specify that I'm looking for gay or bi people only?) I'm probably about a Kinsey 4.5, but there are so few men in New York who are worth spending any amount of time with that it might as well be 5.99.

I'm entirely open to a great many socializing options. We could go out dancing (pretty much any style, from Regency to swing to gothed-out New Wave; Tuesday nights almost always find me at the CDNY English country dance events), sit and knit and occasionally chat, compare libraries and lend each other piles of you-must-read-this books, hook up our laptops for a rousing game of Spaceward Ho!, go hiking along the Hudson or strolling through the East Village, bake brownies, or drive off into the sunset (as long as you're willing to do all the driving; I know how, but I've never gotten around to acquiring a license). Feel free to suggest more options. I'm almost always up for doing something new.

More general biographical information can be found on the userinfo page for my LiveJournal account: http://rosefox.livejournal.com/info/ . More specific biographical information can be found by reading the journal itself. Stop by and take a look; leave a comment if you like. Online conversation is probably one of the best ways to get to know me, and to help me get to know you.

Quickmatchers: I'm rosefox. Come look me up, because I ignore Quickmatch. Vehemently.

I walk. I talk. I sing. I dance. I work. I play. I write. I read. I analyze. I listen. I ponder. I snuggle. I struggle. I strive. I travel. I roam. I investigate. I look. I leap. I cook. I eat. I sleep. I knit. I sew. I fold. I squee. I flirt. I snort. I laugh. I love.

fixing other people's mistakes, creating marvels on a shoestring budget, organizing complex situations, ignoring things I don't want to deal with (hey, sometimes they really do go away), working with my hands, being kind and generous, being really really clear and explicit, engaging the proper etiquette and behavior scripts for any given occasion, and taking care of myself when I'm upset or in need.

To be fair, I'm really bad at: remembering when to eat, making myself go to sleep when I know I'll have to get up early, finishing things I start, focusing on one topic or doing a single thing for more than a few months, coping with being startled or surprised, and doing anything for the first time. I'm getting better at most of these things, but it'll probably be a while before any of them moves to the first list.

I don't put up with bullshit from anyone.

While I'm absolutely diligent about not telling other people's secrets or badmouthing anyone, I don't otherwise censor myself, so people I meet are sometimes slightly startled when I go from sharing brownie recipes to cussing like a sailor to explaining obscure S&M terminology in about thirty seconds.

If I'm really happy or doing something very intensely, people notice it shining out of me.

...um. There isn't enough room, really. Even an abbreviated list of my favorites would go on far too long. I can't really stick to genres either, as I'm generally an omnivore on all of the above as long as there is artistry involved. Virtuosity matters much more than genre, to me.

If you're looking for someone who's into old-school science fiction (Theodore Sturgeon, Harlan Ellison, Terry Carr anthologies), innovative fantasy/slipstream/interstitial fiction (Norman Spinrad, Tim Powers, Ian Watson), geek movies (The Princess Bride, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Galaxy Quest), classical choral music (Mozart's Coronation Mass, Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings/Agnus Dei, J.S. Bach's Magnificat), barbershop and a capella (Da Vinci's Notebook, The Bar and Grill Singers, Sweet Adelines), big band jazz (Benny Goodman, Duke Ellington, David Ostwald), 80s pop (Roxette, Erasure, New Order), crazy circus music (Circus Contraption, Emperor Norton's Stationary Marching Band), New York Jewish cuisine (honey cake, beef brisket, egg creams), European cuisine (potatoes au gratin, fondue, fettucine bolognaise), Asian cuisine (shabu-shabu, udon, New Year's cake), and/or innovative baked goods (mulling spice brownies, rosemary currant shortbread, ginger maple cookies), I probably meet at least some of your qualifications.

I will join the legions of people noting that this is a pretty stupid question, and will co-opt the space for my six highest priorities instead:

1) taking care of my current and anticipated emotional and psychological needs, e.g. keeping accurate records, being honest, getting sufficient time alone, asking for help where I need it;

2) sustaining existing family-level and partner-level relationships;

3) doing all of my work and doing it well and with panache;

4) taking care of my current and anticipated physical needs, e.g. sleeping and eating;

5) sustaining existing friendships and strengthening interesting acquaintanceships;

6) connecting with larger social webs.

If I went without any of those for very long, my life would get really unpleasant really fast. So that mostly counts.

I should also note that one thing I could quite easily do without is sex. I frequently crave cuddling and necking and flirting and shared nakedness. I almost never crave sexual intimacy. I don't have any real drive to make it happen, I have enough hangups and baggage that it can require a lot of negotiation and care to make sexual encounters go well, the longer I go without it the less I miss it, and I can usually think of any number of other things I'd rather be doing. So if you're looking for a partner or FWB with a ravenous libido, you'd best look elsewhere.

how to get enough time for self-care and artistic development given my host of obligations and generally crazy schedule.

At any given time, I'm likely to be obsessed by some activity that requires creativity and/or ingenuity. At the moment it's figuring out how to fit my vast nonfiction library on the pretty but shallow new shelves in my room. (Fiction is shelved in the living room.) Before that it was nurikabe puzzles and getting back into various kink-related activities that had kind of fallen by the wayside. Before that it was KenKen puzzles and planning a trip to Singapore. Before that it was juggling a triple career of book review editing, website usability analysis, and freelance medical writing; I got laid off from the webwonk gig, but I'm finding new freelance clients, so it's all good. Before that it was feeding 300 people heartily and well for four days on $2300. Before that it was dance choreography. Before that it was designing and knitting a dress. Before that it was worldbuilding for a series of novels that I look forward to writing if I ever actually finish the worldbuilding. Before that it was an enormous cross-stitch piece. Mind you, that's all in the past two years or so. I update this list approximately quarterly.

on a cheap bus to Boston (I visit every month or two), or out at dinner with friends, or snuggling with my husband, or playing old video games--Apple ][, NES, SNES--on my laptop, or arriving at a science fiction convention, or chatting with a friend on the phone or via IM, or hanging out on IRC, or playing Boggle with my mother, or laughing under your open window at 1 a.m. Did I wake you?

On Obama's inauguration day, I shaved all my pubic hair and danced around naked shouting "No more Bush!". That's not something I really consider private, though; it's just something most other people would consider private. Or loony, possibly.

I have herpes simplex virus type 1 and 2. Both are entirely asymptomatic and always have been, and I take 1500 mg lysine daily to be on the extra-safe side, but there is still a risk of transmission through asymptomatic viral shedding. If this is an issue for you, we should probably rule out being on smooching terms. I was diagnosed with HPV in October 2008 but fully expect to fight it off (and will update this once I'm back to testing negative). Isn't it nice to get this out of the way early on so we can have realistic expectations and focus on enjoying each other's company?

If there's something you're curious about, ask me. Chances are good that you'll get a detailed answer. I don't flip the "private" bit on many things.

you think "message" is a noun and not a verb.

People with match ratings below 75% or enemy ratings higher than 15% need not apply. OkCupid isn't perfect--I've found it much better at connecting me with people who become good friends than at connecting me with people who are good for me to date--but it'll do for a decent first approximation. I would really love to hear from more people who live in NYC or visit frequently.