The What Kind of PIRATE Are You Test

All possible test results

Walter Kennedy

As far as pirating goes, you pretty much suck. After being a first mate to the infamous Blackbeard, I thought you would have learned a trick or two, but you can't rape, pillage, bludgeon, or sail to s... Read more

CALICO JACK!

Jack Rakam, or Calico Jack, as you like to be called, there's more to being a pirate than Wenching! Sure you love the ladies (and occasionally the cabin boy), but you can't plunder, pillage, navigate ... Read more

Edward Low

Gees Edward, you sick bastard! All you seem to care about is torturing captives. If you were tried today they would deam you a psychopathic killer! I know you get a warm gushy feeling from slicing the... Read more

CPT. LA BOUCHE

Captain Oliver La Bouche or sometimes La Buse, you only care about the finer things in pirating life, i.e. killing and wenching. While these illustrious pastimes are indeed essential to the pirate way... Read more

Richard Worley

Captain Worley, it's very impressive that a simple cabin boy could move up in the ranks to commandeer two new ships and a crew of 25, but even so, you never ransacked one treasure hold, you never pill... Read more

Christopher Condent

Captain Condent, you tricky beast! You only sail for the sake of sailing. And for the women. Most of your plunder you generously gave to your crew, and you rarely engaged in killing, preferring to let... Read more

Christopher Moody

Captain Moody you scalleywag, you! You crave only two things in life, bathing in the blood of your victims and sailing the high seas. While these two are good in themselves, you need to expand your ho... Read more

BLACKBEARD!

As Edward Teach, or the infamous Blackbeard, you strike fear into the hearts of mortal men and wenches everywhere. Whether it be weaving explosive wicks into your beard so as look like a demon of hell... Read more

Stede Bonnet

Okay, so you're good with treasure, but that's not really enough to call yourself a pirate. You commandeer a ship, not buy one. You force your crew to sign a pledge of allegance, you don't pay them of... Read more

Thomas Tew

Captain Tew, you greedy, horny pirate, you! Not content with the gold or wenches that an army sailor aquired, you borrowed money to buy a place on the pirate ship Amnity. Your greed and treasure savyn... Read more

CAPTAIN KIDD

You got a charter from the King to become a privateer and be a pirate HUNTER. But your bloodlust and gold-greediness turned you scallywag in the finest tradition of piracy. You remained devoted to you... Read more

Henry Morgan

Captain Henry Morgan, famed buccaneer! You spent your life as a 'privateer' which you maintained till your dying day. However your great fortune, considerable wenching, and vicious killings prove othe... Read more

William Dampier

Naturalist, Scientist, and Buccaneer, Captain Dampier you are the gentleman of pirates! Circumnavigating the globe three times whilst collecting treasure and anthropological data has made you a pirate... Read more

Edward England

Edward, you are the sweetie pie of Scalleywags. Originally a captive on a pirate ship, the crew liked and respected you so much they made you a captain! You plundered the Indian Ocean beautifully. You... Read more

LONG BEN!

Henry Every, or Jonathon Avery, or Captain Bridgman, or Long Ben, you were the most idolized pirate of your time. You were the Micheal Jackson of piracy. In more ways than one. While the plunder you p... Read more

BLACK BART!

Bartholomew Roberts, or Black Bart to your enemies and those about to be killed, you are the greatest Pirate in the history of Pirates! Seizing four hundred ships in just four short years, you struck ... Read more