The Alphabet Insulting Personality Test

All possible test results

Dullard

You really are quite dull, aren't you? Nothing turns you on. Not food, not wine, not romance, and not even intellectual pursuits. Fortunately, sex doesn't seem to turn you on either, so you are unlike... Read more

Haughty Epicurean

You take a great interest in food and wine, but not much else. I thus suspect you'll be dining alone, gastronome. Read more

Hopeless Romantic

Your world revolves around fantasies of candlelit dinners. Sadly, you don't like the food, have little to talk about, and in the unlikely event your companion missed this and took you home, you'd be l... Read more

Romantic Glutton

Your life revolves around romance, food and wine. You can tell your Shelley from your Sherry and your Scott from your shallots. You probably dream about an evening on the Mediterranean, in some cosy r... Read more

Onanist

You are a horny thang, aren't you? If it moves, you'll end up in bed with it. That's assuming it doesn't run away first, which is bordering on a certainty given you appear to have few other interests.... Read more

Slave to Bacchus

I you could have your way, every evening would involve drunken revelry, wenches with wine, a thirteen course meal, and an orgy of Bacchanalian proportion. Sadly for you (and, no doubt, purveyors of de... Read more

Stupid Cupid

Your world revolves around romance and sex. But then you live in a different world from anyone outside of trashy novels. Your heart swooned when you were asked questions about poetry, but you probably... Read more

Byron Wannabe

You consider yourself to be a sexy romantic, who knows his/her food and wine. You imagine the queues of admirers lusting after your body and your brain. Lord Byron is likely your hero. He's from the e... Read more

Lonely Geek

You have a great relationship with all your computers. That must be nice for you. Remind me why you are on a dating site again? No real friends? Gee, how surprising. Read more

Food Nerd

If I ever want a chemical analysis of my food, I would call you up. That's assuming, of course, I couldn't find anyone else. For someone supposedly interested in such a sensuous subject, it's odd you ... Read more

Unsatiated Academic

Your intersperse your dull life of facts and figures with dreams of romantic liaisons. Unlikely, I'm afraid. Dark strangers do not visit the library often, or MacDonalds, or other places you are likel... Read more

Frigid

Single? If so, I am less surprised than you are. You're a good catch in every way, until you get through the bedroom door. However, constant pillow talk of poetry, cooking, and Knuth is really no subs... Read more

Sex-site regular

What can I say? You're nerdy and interested in little else bar sex. The internet was made for you. Unlike, perhaps, real life. Read more

Net playboy/playgirl

You really think you are something special, don't you. You'd like to think of yourself wining and dining with a constant stream of attractive companions you've met on the internet. You might like to t... Read more

Dreary Dog

You're full of saccharine affection, will shag anything that moves, and your conversation is tedious at best. Ever wondered why when your friends go out to restaurants, they leave you behind? Read more

Renaissance (wo)man

What a balanced personality you have. A combination of romance, epicury, horniness and nerdiness that is unparalleled. You make me, and most of the rest of the planet, sick. Read more