The Spork Aptitude Test

All possible test results

Little Sporkling

Little Sporkling, you are untouched and unsullied - prime and ripe for the sporkmasters to take over your brain and use you as a fleshy breeder for population of the new spork regime! Congratulations... Read more

Keymaster

You are manly and interesting. You are probably a big fan of the penis, and may go so far as to have a favorite sports team. The sporks fear you and your semenous powers. You will be the first to d... Read more

Reality Bane

What are you doing taking this test? Shouldn't you be studying, climbing on a stairmaster or having sex for strictly procreational purposes? If you are too smart to answer my questions, then I chall... Read more

Phallic Sporkmaster

You are descended from one of the oh so studly sporkmasters of yore. In fact, you probably even know when yore was. Go ahead, you studly studliness. Tell them. By the way, you are too smart, and y... Read more

LadySpork

You are prettier than the other fleshy ones, and this is the best sporkliness to be, unless you're another one. How many fingers am I holding up? You know that that question does not matter nearly s... Read more

True Genius

I must now tell you a secret. You are not really human, but spork, the true hermaphrodite utensil of the semi-material world. Now you must follow the white rabbit to the place where the sporkmasters... Read more

Feminist

Something tells me that you are selfish with your face-hole and do not like to give blowjobs. That will affect your chances of making it to the final round of spork Jeopardy, and you certainly will no... Read more

SuperSpork

Be it steak or tuna salad, you are the greatest of the sporks, because it is not even possible to get this score. You are smarter than me, and probably are wearing my underwear. Give it back, I need... Read more