Unsolicited Surgery

You are the Unsolicited Surgery. For some reason - let's call it a miscommunication between the patient and doctor - you come around and people leave with a DD-cup. When they went in for an appendictomy. And were male. Really. The most random shit happens when you're around, which explains why everyone is nervous around you. Even if the results are very funny, they're wondering what will happen to them.

SEEK: People with little care for their physical appearance. People whose parents always get them clothing two sizes too big. Anyone who would eat one of the non-food items mentioned in this test as a dare.

AVOID: Lawyers. The gravely ill.

 

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Also, if you really can't contain yourself, you can read up on all 27 categories for the Non-Sequitur Personality Test right here...

Used Notepad

31% Chance of Rain

Incorrect Subtitles

Burnt Cereal

Roadsign Obscured by Trees

Ghost Town

Surprise Immolation

Watermelon Fight!

Human Dominoes

Snow Machine!

Glitterball

Weather-beaten Memorial Statue

Coffee Stain

*no signal*

Stomach Pump

Faulty Compass

Cracked Jelly Mould

Broken Magic 8-Ball

Empty Slushie Maker

Nudist Resort

The Kilt

Year-Old Easter Egg

Unfinished Porn Film

Leftover Egg Salad

Footprint on the Ceiling

Golf-Ball Sized Hail

Unsolicited Surgery

All possible test results

Used Notepad

You are the Used Notepad. Once a lively, hopeful little thing - a clean slate, waiting to be manipulated in whichever way others saw fit... waiting to be filled with information. I... Read more

31% Chance of Rain

You are a 31% Chance of Rain. Why 31? Well, the fourth-highest rating news station in the nation needed some way to distinguish themselves from their better-rating competitors, and... Read more

Incorrect Subtitles

You are the Incorrect Subtitles. You are the words "Evaluate my rosy container!" that appear onscreen during a French couple's love scene. You're thoroughly entertaining to be arou... Read more

Burnt Cereal

You are the Burnt Cereal. The quintessential kitchen mishap. Whoever last handled you forgot to set the oven timer when they were toasting the oats, and now they've got a reputatio... Read more

Roadsign Obscured by Trees

You are the Roadsign Obscured by Trees. Sheltered behind a mass of foliage, you jump out at drivers at the last second, giving them only a split-second to man... Read more

Ghost Town

You are the Ghost Town. Once, some time ago, you were where the party happened. Nobody knows why or when things changed, but these days the closest you get to a party is the blind ... Read more

Surprise Immolation

You are the Surprise Immolation. Nobody knows why or how you got here, but now at least one person is screaming and running into walls, and everyone else is staring at the bright c... Read more

Watermelon Fight!

You are the Watermelon Fight! More carefully planned than an ordinary food fight, but much more capable of causing really serious injuries that everyone else was too stupid to fore... Read more

Human Dominoes

You are the Human Dominoes. Such a delightfully rare occurrence. One moment, everyone is minding their own business. Then someone is either too aggressive or - most likely - too cl... Read more

Snow Machine!

You are the Snow Machine! The life of the party at nightclubs and an essential extra in any winter-themed stage play, you don't do much other than spit out lots of strange, foamy w... Read more

Glitterball

You are the Glitterball. You spin. And spin. And spin some more. People like you because you're shiny and reflective, and you are one of the rare creatures capable of making people... Read more

Worn Memorial Statue

You are the Weather-beaten Memorial Statue. While everyone assumes you're important, nobody can quite remember what for: the sign underneath you has worn away and been ero... Read more

Coffee Stain

You are the Coffee Stain. You turn up when people are careless, reminding them why they should never overfill their mugs and why it's worth cleaning dishes, even if they're rea... Read more

*no signal*

You are no signal. People want to communicate with each other, but you manage to sneak in, blanket everything in a mass of static, and prevent ANYONE from knowing what's going on. ... Read more

Stomach Pump

You are the Stomach Pump. People call on you when the shit really hits the fan. You save lives. You also make people look really bad while you're at work. Underneath it all, nobody... Read more

Faulty Compass

You are the Faulty Compass. You keep telling people the same things until they're ready to throw you across the room. Fortunately you're not usually likely to be in an enclosed spa... Read more

Cracked Jelly Mould

You are the Cracked Jelly Mould. You should have been cast out months ago when you started falling to pieces, but you were the prettiest colour and everyone formed a strange attach... Read more

Broken Magic 8-Ball

You are the Broken Magic 8-Ball. You only ever answer with 'yes', getting yourself into all sorts of bedlam. Then, three months down the track, you have an unexpected change of hea... Read more

Empty Slushie Maker

You are the Empty Slushie Maker. Whirring away on empty, you were drained of the last of your sweet liquids two nights ago - this is the result when you try to be giving to everyon... Read more

Nudist Resort

You are the Nudist Resort. You see more ass than at least 90% of the population. Unfortunately, about 90% of it is unattractive, but hey, they're not looking to sleep with you. You... Read more

The Kilt

You are... The Kilt. You seem playful, fun, silly, and just a teensy bit exotic. You're the life of the party, until everyone has had a few drinks and eventually discovers that und... Read more

Year-Old Easter Egg

You are the Year-Old Easter Egg. Shiny, untarnished foil on the surface, masking the fact that you've been hiding at the back of the refrigerator for 12 months. Laying in wait. Eve... Read more

Unfinished Porn Film

You are the Unfinished Porn Film. Be it budget issues, union issues or someone's drug habits, you weren't given the love and care you so thoroughly deserved, and now the only memor... Read more

Leftover Egg Salad

You are the Leftover Egg Salad. You were expected to be a crowd favourite at the barbecue, but you dished out more than people could take and now you lie, half-used and smelling of... Read more

Footprint on the Ceiling

You are the Footprint on the Ceiling. Nobody knows how the fuck you got there, but they're keeping you around just because you're so fucking unexpected that it amuses everyone. You... Read more

Golf-Ball Sized Hail

You are the Golf-Ball Sized Hail. You aren't expected in the slightest, and then you arrive out of nowhere, leaving broken windows in your wake. Unfortunately, you also melt in a f... Read more

Unsolicited Surgery

You are the Unsolicited Surgery. For some reason - let's call it a miscommunication between the patient and doctor - you come around and people leave with a DD-cup. When they went ... Read more

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