Their result for The Billionaire Test ...

The Salesman: The Waltons

You could be worth $20 billion... someday

Based on my rigorous interrogation of your personality, we have determined that deep down you are more evil than good-natured, more hardworking than lazy, and more cunning than lucky.

How do you feel about low, low prices? Because according to my complex personality matrix, you will probably make your fortune in good old fashioned pursuit of buying and selling. Despite your humble origins, you have the ability to build a major business empire, through smarts, hard work, and union-busting.

There are many routes to retailing billionaireship, it seems. The world's 7th richest man, Ingvar Kamprad, built his $31 billion fortune through Swedish furniture giant IKEA. #13, France's Bernard Arnault, owes his $25.5 billion largely to his stake in luxury cartel Louis Vuitton Moet Hennessy (can you guess some of the brands they own?), while #41, Michael Dell, made $16.4 billion selling (you guessed it!) computers. However, we've decided to compare you to the world's best-known retailing family, The Waltons.

As heirs to Sam Walton's Wal-Mart empire, together they are worth almost $80 billion. That works out to (a mere) $19 billion or so per Walton, putting them individually just behind oligarch Vladimir Potanin and collectively just above the nation of Slovakia's annual economic output.

While their low prices are often seen as a boon to middle-class consumers, Wal-Mart megastores have destroyed countless American downtowns, fueled untold acres of unecessary sprawl, and driven down wages and quality standards across the board. Then again, you can't succeed in this business if you go around paying your employees a living wage. Unless you're Swedish or something. Sam Walton, who started a fund to stop the spread of Communism in Central America in 1985, would be happy to know that Wal-Mart is now the largest single importer of goods from China, our friendly eastern neighbors.

Trivia question: Sam Walton was known for driving the same shitty pickup truck, right into the ground, while simultaneously amassing a multi-billion dollar fortune by ruthlessly exploiting his workers and bullying suppliers. Would you say this behavior was motivated more by greed or spite? Answer on a seperate sheet of paper.

Their Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

  • Vileness Distribution

    They scored 4% on Vileness, higher than 49% of your peers.

  • Hardworkingness Distribution

    They scored 8% on Hardworkingness, higher than 72% of your peers.

  • Cunning Distribution

    They scored 5% on Cunning, higher than 15% of your peers.

  • Net Worth Distribution

    They scored 20% on Net Worth, higher than 72% of your peers.

All possible test results

The Bum

Sorry to say, but even this test can't help you. As far as Forbes is concerned, you're a nobody: always have been, always will be. In case you were wondering, you scored $(Vileness) on Vil... Read more

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The Innovator: Sergey Brin and Larry Page

Based on my rigorous interrogation of your personality, I have determined that deep down you are more good natured than evil, more hard-working than lazy,... Read more

The Huckster: Donald Trump

 Based on my rigorous interrogation of your personality, I have determined that deep down you are more evil than good-natured, more hard-working than laz... Read more

The Oligarch: Boris Berezovsky

Based on my rigorous interrogation of your personality, I have determined that deep down you are more evil than good-natured, more lazy than hardworking,... Read more

The Sheikh: Hassanal Bolkiah, Sultan of Brunei

Based on my rigorous interrogation of your personality, I have determined that deep down you are more evil than good-natured, more lazy than hardworking, ... Read more

The Salesman: The Waltons

Based on my rigorous interrogation of your personality, we have determined that deep down you are more evil than good-natured, more hardworking than lazy,... Read more

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