Meta-emotional block

Your mind is the enemy! It hides the pie!

Clear your thoughts. Clear your emotions. Mental and emotional purity mus be obtained. Both little things and Life's Big Questions get you all bound up. Stop thinking! Stop feeling! Just act! Then smile! Then eat the pie!

Seriously, you get too worked up about things. Maybe try a fling or something with someone you've had your eye on. That has worked for me.

All possible test results

No Impedance

In answer to the age-old question: what's wrong with me? you can proudly answer: nothing! You seem to be a reasonably well-adjusted person. You've got hang-ups (who doesn't!) but you've got some persp... Read more

Metaphysical Block

You think too much, take life a little to seriously, and as you can see from this handy illustration, that gets in the way of you enjoying yourself. Take it easy. Let the good times roll.... Read more

Emotional Blockage

You feel everything too much. The pie of happiness is blocked. See the graphic. You must forget your feelings. Tell yourself you don't care about anything. Just for a day or two! See what happ... Read more

Meta-emotional block

Your mind is the enemy! It hides the pie! Clear your thoughts. Clear your emotions. Mental and emotional purity mus be obtained. Both little things and Life's Big Questions get you all bound u... Read more

Sexual Blockage

Lust and its vile henchman, the Internet, are keeping you from living your life to the fullest. That you're using OkCupid is testament enough to this fact, I say.Gratification is a form of hap... Read more

Metasexual blockage

Ah, this is what I call the artist's cocktail. Of blockage. Sex, philosophy, and existential angst have bound up your mind. As you can see, these are hiding the pie. REMOVE THEM! TASTE THE PIE!!! Thin... Read more

Emosexual Blockage

In combination, intense sex and intense emotions can lead to unhappiness, and beyond that, even to marriage. Beware of combining these two mortal distractions! You indicate strong sexuality.... Read more

Total Blockage

As illustrated below, the pie of happiness is far beyond your grasp. All possible human distracts stand in your way. Reach out at it, at the delicious pie: feel your thoughts, your feelings, nay, even... Read more

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