Their result for The Slasher Movie Survival Test ...

HAMMERED

You scored 34% Deadmeatocity and 73% FinalGirlitude!

Ooooh, that's gotta hurt. A hammer in the head. That's a headache right there... no, wait, that's your brains dripping out in a KNB FX style moment. Sorry, you died, and you made a hell of a mess doing it. And you started out so plucky, too. The comic relief, maybe. You had a few funny lines, probably while drinking and telling all your teen buddies that you like getting "hammered". ooooh, how ironic. Sorry, you didn't make it to the end credits.

Their Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

  • Deadmeatocity Distribution

    They scored 34% on Deadmeatocity, higher than 51% of your peers.

  • FinalGirlitude Distribution

    They scored 73% on FinalGirlitude, higher than 78% of your peers.

All possible test results

DEFENESTRATED

Hey. Nice. You got thrown out of a window (yes, that's what defenestrated means). But are you alive or dead? In the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Sally seems to be forever jumping out of windows, ... Read more

HYPODERMIC IN EYE

Nice work. But, even though you were the plucky young thing, you didn't survive. I'm very sorry. But at least you got killed in a way that is sure to enrage the British Censors (they cut the Splinter ... Read more

FINAL GIRL: VIXEN!

You so rock, it's going to make me fall off my chair. You survive! you beat the psycho off ('scuse me) yourself, and you don't need any damn man to rescue you. You are the ultimate Final Girl. You are... Read more

SHOTGUNNED

Whoa! You don't see that very often in slasher movies. but in Maniac you do. Tom Savini gets his head blown into chunks, and so, I'm afraid, do you. You are dead, dead, dead. You didn't have what it t... Read more

HAMMERED

Ooooh, that's gotta hurt. A hammer in the head. That's a headache right there... no, wait, that's your brains dripping out in a KNB FX style moment. Sorry, you died, and you made a hell of a mess doi... Read more

KICK-ASS BITCH!

Yeah, baby. You were virginal, you were a bit fuddy-duddy, but underneath it all were a pair of rock hard nipples... oh, sorry, mind wandering there... Well, you had all the makings of a damn fine Fin... Read more

NAILGUNNED

Oooh baby. That looks painful. Nailed up like that... Nail in the brain. Well, you got killed. But look at it this way, at least not many slashers use nailguns. Apart from Tobe Hooper's lame ass excu... Read more

ICEPICKED

Niiiiiice. Although more common to the Thriller (exotic?), you found yourself a pretty neat way to die. A bit like the handy-man zombie in Dawn of The Dead, but that's not a slasher, so nevermind. But... Read more

SCREAM QUEEN

Well, you survived. Probably thanks to a passing trucker, or a nutcase psychiatrist. You did nothing but blub and scream like a little bitch through the movie. Okay, so you jabbed the guy with a coat-... Read more

PITCHFORKED

Two tines...right in there. You are so dead, it just doesn't bear thinking about. In those last moments before you die, you probably wonder where the hell these psychos get all their farm equipment fr... Read more

BARBWIRE NECKLACE

Smile! Ooooh, I say. Nasty. Well, you got killed off pretty quick, due to your drug abuse and drinking and lewd behaviour, but that was one hell of a cool effect. And you can see it's full, bosom-heav... Read more

OH, RESCUE ME !!

Oh, dear god, barbie (Can you feel my Coxian Fury?) Are you just going to sit there and cry through the whole movie til some big bloke comes to save you... ...oh...you did. Well, I can't call it. You... Read more

GARROTTED

Unusual, but still a classic. You are probably in an Argento giallo. But you died anyway. Hell, you spent the whole damn movie running around in your lingerie while trashy euro-pop drowned out all the... Read more

SPINE SNAPPED

Snappppppp! A Jason Voorhees classic. It happens to us all. Well, not us all. You. It happened to you. You were probably an inept cop father, or a kick ass space marine type. But you got your spine pl... Read more

FINAL BOY/COUPLE

Rare, but there. You see it in the Burning (excuse the semi-homoerotic subtext, please), you see it in Jason X, and you see it in Wrong Turn. What the hell is wrong with slasher movies today? That's a... Read more

DISMEMBERED

Whoa, there's bits of you all over the place. I'm not cleaning that up. That is deeply inusual for a slasher movie... are you sure you didn't trip and fall into a Fulci zombie pic? Or are you in Joe D... Read more

STRANGLED

A classic. Boring, but a classic. And deeply erotic in a disturbing kind of way... Next time, try not to be so pouty, or put something on other than a skimpy nightie, and for got sake, don't show your... Read more

TRAUMATISED

You survived, but your sanity didn't. You spent most of the movie screaming, and laughing hysterically, so why stop now. You are Sally from Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Dear god woman, just shut up! Stop... Read more

SKEWERED

A staple of the genre. Poked with a big sharp object. But enough about my sex-life, lets get back to you. Yup, there's something deeply, disturbingly phallic about your death. You got penetrated. Mayb... Read more

CHAINSAWED

Hell, didn't you hear that huge bastard coming? He's waving a sodding great chainsaw about, couldn't you at least run in the opposite direction? Oh, sorry, Franklin, I didn't see the wheelchair... Yo... Read more

MAIMED

Jesus, you survived. You got seriously knifed up, or hacked, but somehow you managed to get to the end credits alive. In critical condition, sure, but still breathing... probably through a tube, thoug... Read more

DECAPITATED

Wow! Did you see that! Well, you can probably see your decapitated body slumping from way over there. Look, your pupils are dilating! What a cool shot. Oh, you're dead, by the way. Read more

AXE IN FACE

Nice. Simple. Classic. Effective. You were a bit of a whore, didn't you see it coming? next time, try taking less soapy showers, smoke less dope, and dear god, don't do what normal teens think of doin... Read more

SUPRISE KILL!

Holy crap! I thought you are going to make it! You had all the traits of a kick-ass final girl, but the psycho got you. Hell. And I really liked you too. You are Marion Crane in Psycho. I'm still sh... Read more

MEAT-CLEAVERED

Now that looks painful. You got chopped right in the mush (that's a 40's British term for Face, my colonial chums). Did you deserve it? Yes. Probably. It's a bit of a special kill for a nobody. You pr... Read more

MACHETE IN HEAD

A classic. No messing with spearguns and power-tools. Simple. effective. Vintage. You are increadibly dead. People were pointing at you in the cinema shouting deaddeaddead! as soon as they saw you. Y... Read more

SHOCK DEATH ENDING!

HOLY SHIT! NO WAY! I thought you'd make it. I really liked you. I didn't see that one coming. Read more

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