Their result for The Match Me If You Dare Test ...

Nietzsche's Moustache

65% Physical, 97% Interpersonal

Behold the Ubermensche! 

And why are you Nietzsche's moustache? Because you killed God, of course. You did so by being yet another example of the cruel, cosmic joke-law that says: A cool Gay fucker can never meet another cool Gay fucker and then fuck him. Our personalities shoot hot sticky wads of compatibility cum all over each other, but for some reason our dicks don't seem all that interested in doing the same. A pity, really. Because it is rare for me to encounter someone who rocks as much as you, just as you have never before met anyone as fucking amazing as me. 

As you well know, I am very rarely wrong. But just this once I hope I am and that my calculations were off in scoring this test. If not, let's get drunk and shake our fists at the Universe. That bitch.

Their Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

  • Physical Distribution

    They scored 65% on Physical, higher than 62% of your peers.

  • Interpersonal Distribution

    They scored 97% on Interpersonal, higher than 73% of your peers.

  • Rabbiness Distribution

    They scored 0% on Rabbiness, higher than 48% of your peers.

  • Jewessness Distribution

    They scored 0% on Jewessness, higher than 46% of your peers.

  • Ancientness Distribution

    They scored 0% on Ancientness, higher than 41% of your peers.

  • Zombieness Distribution

    They scored 0% on Zombieness, higher than 44% of your peers.

  • Midgetness Distribution

    They scored 0% on Midgetness, higher than 47% of your peers.

All possible test results

The Midget Iluminati

Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhh! Get the fuck away from me you tiny monster!  At just under 5'7" I am pretty short. And while it is rare, guys a bit shorter than me can be a really big ... Read more

The Sissor-Happy Rabbi

You paid how much for that foreskin? Schmuck! I have a nephew in Rhode Island who can get them at cost. And better quality than those, I tell you! I can be sneaky too. I in... Read more

The Kosher Cunt

You have a pussy. You hate foreskins. Sister to the Sissor-Happy Rabbi, you are the Kosher Cunt.  The fact is, you are likely a man-hating Lesbian on top of being a foreski... Read more

The Emperor

Your lightsabre is flacid. Look here, Emperor. You may offer me a fancy black outfit, a light saber and even my own Death Star. But It won't work. You see, I prefer firm, v... Read more

The Hot Zombie

Yes, my brains are fortified with 9 essential vitamins and iron. But you can't have them! I like to be fisted with severed, rotting arms as much as the next guy. And sure, ... Read more

Nietzsche's Moustache

Behold the Ubermensche!  And why are you Nietzsche's moustache? Because you killed God, of course. You did so by being yet another example of the cruel, cosmic joke-law tha... Read more

Captain Fuckpants

No need to talk when grunts and moans will do. You and I seem to have little in common other than sexually. And that's, okay. It just means that you have a shitty personali... Read more

The Anti-Christ

The Apocalypse is neigh! There are only two ways you could have got this result. One, I erred in my calculations which is quite possible since math is for fuckers and I'm n... Read more

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