Horrid crazy man. (In the middle).
Apperance: Monty Python's Flying Circus
High Light: "The Spanish Inquisition"
IN THE EARLY YEARS OF THE SIXTEENTH CENTURY, TO COMBAT THE RISING TIDE OF RELIGIOUS UNORTHODOXY, THE POPE GAVE CARDINAL XIMINEZ OF SPAIN LEAVE TO MOVE WITHOUT LET OR HINDRANCE THROUGHOUT THE LAND, IN A REIGN OF VIOLENCE, TERROR AND TORTURE THAT MAKES A SMASHING FILM. THIS WAS THE SPANISH INQUISITION . . .'
(Torchlit dungeon. We hear clanging footsteps. Shadows on the Grille. The footsteps stop and keys jangle. The great door creaks open and Ximinez walks in and looks round approvingly. Fang and Biggles enter behind pushing in the dear old lady. They chain her to the wall.)
Ximinez: Now, old woman! You are accused of heresy on three counts. Heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action. Four counts. Do you confess?
Old Lady: I don't understand what I'm accused of.
Ximinez: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch...THE CUSHIONS!
(JARRING CHORD - Biggles holds out two ordinary modern household cushions)
Biggles: Here they are, lord.
Ximinez: Now, old lady -- you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly -- *two* last chances. And you shall be free -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance.
Old Lady: I don't know what you're talking about.
Ximinez: Right! If that's the way you want it -- Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions!
(Biggles carries out this rather pathetic torture)
Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess!
Biggles: It doesn't seem to be hurting her, lord.
Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end?
Biggles: Yes, lord.
Ximinez: (angrily hurling away the cushions) Hm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR!
(JARRING CHORD - Zoom into Fang's horrified face)
Fang: (terrified) The...Comfy Chair?
(Biggles pushes in a comfy chair -- a really plush one)
Ximinez: So you think you are strong because you can survive the soft cushions. Well, we shall see. Biggles! Put her in the Comfy Chair!
(They roughly push her into the Comfy Chair)
Ximinez: (with a cruel leer) Now -- you will stay in the Comfy Chair until lunch time, with only a cup of coffee at eleven. (aside, to Biggles) Is that really all it is?
Biggles: Yes, lord.
Ximinez: I see. I suppose we make it worse by shouting a lot, do we? Confess, woman. Confess! Confess! Confess! Confess!
Biggles: I confess!
Ximinez: Not you!
More tests we think you'll like
Taken 3890 times.
Hi! And welcome to my Useless Trivia As Determined By the Author Test. I'll be using advanced logic and my useless knowledge amassed over years of veg...
Taken 19064 times.
Find out which Doors song comes closest to describing the real you
Taken 72523 times.
This is the ultimate and most accurate test one could ever take in this area. This test is for boys, but if you're a girl and you feel you REALLY want...
Taken 12498 times.
I thought I would play around and write a test that would predict what my first impression of you would be. NOW BEFORE YOU BEGIN, this test was done ...
Taken 625 times.
for those of you who are already offended, I should tell you that 'fundie,' while originally derived from fundamentalist and in reference to christian...
Taken 55692 times.
Hi! And welcome to my Humane Sexuality Test. I'll be using advanced theory and research to determine how sexually open, educated and just plain weird ...
Taken 10652 times.
Hi! And welcome to the "Are You a Player" test. ** I THINK I have fixed what was wrong, so you should get a more "accurate" reading** Every...
Taken 4813 times.
Hi! And welcome to my Are You Crazy Too Test.
Taken 4909 times.
My brain works in such a "special" way that my friends have named my way of thinking as 'Twisted Roger Logic'. This basically involves making very ast...
Taken 3746 times.
What?! You want to take this? Are you nuts? I'm Damadar, and this test is labeled: WHAT?! as in... WHAT?! YOU WANT TO TAKE THIS? ARE YOU NUTS?! Did...
Connect your existing OkCupid account
Restore your account to continue
meeting new people.
Reset your password
We’ll email you a link to reset it.
An email is on its way to .
If you don’t see it, try checking
your Spam folder.