Women In Beards
Apperance: Life of Brian
Agressive ancient bitches. :D
(The Stoning Place. A Jewish OFFICIAL stands there, with some helpers, confronting the potential stonee, MATTHIAS. A large crowd watches. 90% are women in beards. Around the perimeter are a few Roman troops.)
Official: Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath ...
Matthias: (to Official's Helper): Do I say "Yes"?
Official's Helper: Yes.
Official: You have been found guilty by the elders of the town of uttering the name of our Lord and so as a blasphemer you are to be stoned to death.
Matthias: Look, I'd had a lovely supper and all I said to my wife was, "That piece
Official: Blasphemy! He's said it again.
Women: Yes, he did.
Official: Did you hear him?
Women: Yes we did. Really.
Official: (suspiciously) Are there any women here today?
(The women all shake their heads. The Official faces Matthias again.)
Official: Very well, by virtue of the authority vested in me ...
(One of the women throws a stone and it hits Matthias on the knee.)
Matthias: Ow. Lay off. We haven't started yet.
Official: (turning around) Come on, who threw that?
Official: Who threw that stone? Come on.
Women: (pointing to the culprit, keeping their voices as low in pitch as they can)
Culprit: (very deep voice) Sorry, I thought we'd started.
Official: Go to the back.
Culprit: Oh dear.
(disappointedly goes to back)
Official: There's always one, isn't there? Now, where were we? ...
Matthias: Look. I don't think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying "Jehovah!"
(Sensation!!!! The women gasp.)
Women: (high voices) He said it again.
(low voices) He said it again.
Official: (to Matthias) You're only making it worse for yourself.
Matthias: Making it worse? How can it be worse? Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah.
Official: I'm warning you. If you say "Jehovah" once more ...
(He gasps at his error and claps his hand over his mouth. A stone hits him on the side of the head. He reacts.)
Official: Right! Who threw that?
Women: (high voices)
It was her.
It was *him*.
It was him.
Official: Was it you?
Official: All right.
Culprit: Well, you did say "Jehovah."
(The women all shriek and throw stones at her from very close range. She falls to the ground stunned. Quick cut of Romans reacting. They shake their heads and mutter to each other.)
Official: Stop that. Stop it, will you stop that. Now look, no one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle. *Even*...and I want to make this absolutely clear...*even* if they *do* say "Jehovah."
(There is a pause. Then all the women throw stones at the Official and he goes down in a heap. Five women carry a huge rock, run up and drop it on the Official. Everyone claps. The guards sadly shake their heads.)
More tests we think you'll like
Taken 4282 times.
Some people like to get a sweat on... Some don't. Which are you?
Taken 18193 times.
Find out which Doors song comes closest to describing the real you
Taken 2317 times.
Hi! And welcome to my Progressive Rock music Test. I'll be using advanced logic and knowledge to determine if this music appeals to your tastes and yo...
Taken 7807 times.
This test is intended to just give you a laugh. In a day and age of constant competition I decided not to make this test about scoring but rather a br...
Taken 61109 times.
This is the ultimate and most accurate test one could ever take in this area. This test is for boys, but if you're a girl and you feel you REALLY want...
Taken 1469 times.
Hi! And welcome to my Megaman NES Test. I will ask you questions about the Megaman NES saga! Some questions will be easy, others will be hard! Good l...
Taken 5928 times.
Hi! And welcome to my (recently updated 10-29-09) 50 Question Match Perfection Test. This test was designed to test your ultimate compatibility wi...
Taken 9463 times.
What science-fiction spaceship should you command?
Taken 7741 times.
How intelligent are you when it comes to hitting the clubs for an evening?
Taken 16874 times.
The mind according to Freud is composed of the ID, Ego and Superego. This test will use a totally non-scientific method that I pulled out of my net...
Connect your existing OkCupid account
Restore your account to continue meeting new people.
Reset your password
We’ll email you a link to reset it.
An email is on its way to . If you don’t see it, try checking your Spam folder.