Women In Beards
Apperance: Life of Brian
Agressive ancient bitches. :D
(The Stoning Place. A Jewish OFFICIAL stands there, with some helpers, confronting the potential stonee, MATTHIAS. A large crowd watches. 90% are women in beards. Around the perimeter are a few Roman troops.)
Official: Matthias, son of Deuteronomy of Gath ...
Matthias: (to Official's Helper): Do I say "Yes"?
Official's Helper: Yes.
Official: You have been found guilty by the elders of the town of uttering the name of our Lord and so as a blasphemer you are to be stoned to death.
Matthias: Look, I'd had a lovely supper and all I said to my wife was, "That piece
Official: Blasphemy! He's said it again.
Women: Yes, he did.
Official: Did you hear him?
Women: Yes we did. Really.
Official: (suspiciously) Are there any women here today?
(The women all shake their heads. The Official faces Matthias again.)
Official: Very well, by virtue of the authority vested in me ...
(One of the women throws a stone and it hits Matthias on the knee.)
Matthias: Ow. Lay off. We haven't started yet.
Official: (turning around) Come on, who threw that?
Official: Who threw that stone? Come on.
Women: (pointing to the culprit, keeping their voices as low in pitch as they can)
Culprit: (very deep voice) Sorry, I thought we'd started.
Official: Go to the back.
Culprit: Oh dear.
(disappointedly goes to back)
Official: There's always one, isn't there? Now, where were we? ...
Matthias: Look. I don't think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying "Jehovah!"
(Sensation!!!! The women gasp.)
Women: (high voices) He said it again.
(low voices) He said it again.
Official: (to Matthias) You're only making it worse for yourself.
Matthias: Making it worse? How can it be worse? Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah.
Official: I'm warning you. If you say "Jehovah" once more ...
(He gasps at his error and claps his hand over his mouth. A stone hits him on the side of the head. He reacts.)
Official: Right! Who threw that?
Women: (high voices)
It was her.
It was *him*.
It was him.
Official: Was it you?
Official: All right.
Culprit: Well, you did say "Jehovah."
(The women all shriek and throw stones at her from very close range. She falls to the ground stunned. Quick cut of Romans reacting. They shake their heads and mutter to each other.)
Official: Stop that. Stop it, will you stop that. Now look, no one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle. *Even*...and I want to make this absolutely clear...*even* if they *do* say "Jehovah."
(There is a pause. Then all the women throw stones at the Official and he goes down in a heap. Five women carry a huge rock, run up and drop it on the Official. Everyone claps. The guards sadly shake their heads.)
More tests we think you'll like
Taken 1009 times.
Find out witch of Divergent faction you belong.
Taken 1656 times.
Hi! And welcome to my Megaman NES Test. I will ask you questions about the Megaman NES saga! Some questions will be easy, others will be hard! Good l...
Taken 36460 times.
This test is to show which kind of wife you are, or will be (if that is your thing). Remember to answer honestly, otherwise any future spouses out th...
Taken 11611 times.
Hi! And welcome to my What Kind of Diaper Are You Test. I'll be using advanced logic and knowledge to determine your true nature.
Taken 38776 times.
Hi! And welcome to my dumbest Test. I'll be using no logic and little knowledge to determine something.
Taken 12563 times.
Hi! And welcome to the "Are You a Player" test. ** I THINK I have fixed what was wrong, so you should get a more "accurate" reading** Every...
Taken 220 times.
Bloque III - JL (2)
Taken 5490 times.
In my opinion, being adventurous is one of the best things you can do for yourself. If you try new things every now and then, sure you could run into...
Taken 518 times.
Hey internet fiends! Hopefully, most people taking this test are familiar with the popular online comic Bob and George, if not, check it out at http:...
Taken 8223 times.
What is your knowledge of Famous Movie Quotes?
Connect your existing OkCupid account
Restore your account to continue
meeting new people.
Reset your password
We’ll email you a link to reset it.
An email is on its way to .
If you don’t see it, try checking
your Spam folder.