The Slasher Flick Survival Test

All possible test results

Dumbass Sack of Guts

Congratulations, fuckwit, you've got about the same chance of survival as a kitten in a room full of rabid badgers. You're the pile of guts that gets spilled at the very beginning so that the girls i... Read more

Ass-Fucked

You, my unfortunate friend, have been ass-raped by the broom handle of fate... You're gonna get owned like the new guy in prison who drops the soap! Yeah, it sucks to be you, but at least your charac... Read more

In Deep Shit

The name says it all. You're just barely intelligent enough to know that something bad and scary is going on, and you definitely do NOT have the mad skills to dodge the blade that is about to be plun... Read more

Useless Sacrifice

You're the person people yell at the loudest because, at first, it seemed like you'd definitely survive. Sadly, you've got bad judgment/aren't looking out for your best interests.. maybe you'd die fo... Read more

Pretty Screwed

i'll give you some credit, you're not a total idiot; there might even be some common sense struggling to survive in there if you look hard enough. Unfortunately, you're still stupid enough to make a ... Read more

The Black Guy

Every slasher/scary movie has a character (usually black) who is smart, sexy, and/or cool as shit, but who gets slaughtered anyways. Sorry man, you're that person. Your chances of survival aren't to... Read more

The Badass Wannabe

Who wants to be a badass? YOU DO, yes you do you limp-wristed poser - aaawwwwwwwww... You've got potential, and you know it, hotshot. Watch the testosterone, though, or hour into the movie, you'll f... Read more

Unlucky Shitkicker

You've got brains, sense... maybe even a few mad skills. As far as battling a psycho goes, you've almost got it all. There's just one little problem - GOD HATES YOU. The numbers may appear to be in... Read more

Generic Hero/Heroine

guess what? you've got a damn good chance of survival; i'm not sure yet whether it's because of your mad-cool survival skills or because you've been using your friends as human shields. As long as y... Read more

Stupendous Badass

I've got some good news, and some bad news... You're definitely gonna survive. Too bad, because your death probably would have been a cosmic mercy killing, since to get a score like this you have to... Read more