The How Animals Have Sex Test

Yikes. Even by animal standards, you've got a rough time of it. The honey bee, the celebrity-chaser of the animal kingdom, only gets to have sex if and when the queen bee happens to select him during one of her mating flights. And since she only makes a couple of those during her lifetime, the male bee has about a one in twenty thousand chance of ever having sex at all. Damn! (On the upside, since you're not getting laid much, you run much less of a risk of contracting an STD.) Unfortunately, even for the bee that does manage to have sex, the euphoria is short-lived: Halfway through mating, the "lucky" bee explodes, his penis snaps off inside the queen, and he drops dead with his guts spilling out al over the place. (The discarded genitals DO keep other bees from having sex with the queen, but I mean, geez-- no wonder bees are always so angry.) So, to recap: you don't get much sex, you'll die to prevent others from gettin' some of yours, and there's a good chance that you've got exploding genitals. I suggest that you stay on your best bee-havior (ha! ha!) and hope to be reincarnated as something a little less awful next time.