The Porn Star
We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE PORN STAR.
Let's face it - pornography is not something you watch when you're after intricate, multi-layered narratives, thematic depth or personal resonance. The only feeling happening during porn has nothing to do with emotions. Since your tastes don't lean towards the critically-acclaimed stuff, we'd normally consider you for B-movies. However, your more-colourful-than-average sexual history suggests you might also be ready for a spot in the adult entertainment industry.
At the same time if you wanted to move above porn, you could. Try it for a while, then get a new agent and sign up on a hit TV show. After all, actors like Simon Rex did pornography before becoming successful actors (and in fact having that sort of scandalous background can be GREAT for publicity).
If, however, you decide to stick to, uh... sticking to it, your success will depend on two things. Firstly, how much publicity you're prepared to push for. While your publicity score is lower, something in the 30-50 range would help boost your star status. Secondly, keep clean, as you appear to have done fairly well so far. The best in the biz do NOT let themselves disappear in a cloud of white powder. Your celebrity-alike could therefore be someone like Jenna Jameson or Matthew Rush. Porn's a big industry, though, and if neither of those suit you, you'll still find your niche!
To put it more simply, your work as a celebrity would have:
A high emphasis on sex
A low emphasis on drug consumption
A low level of publicity
A high degree of career credibility
Babe, you're great. You're a star. You should take one of my other tests, though...
Sunbeams. Conditioner. Brand names. People flipping their hair for no apparent reason.
Money. Money. Money.
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