Their result for What Kind Of Celebrity Would You Be? ...

The Porn Star

Your career as a celebrity would have a 60% focus on sex, 16% focus on drugs, a 34% level of publicity and a 45% credible selection of work in film/music.

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE PORN STAR.

 

Let's face it - pornography is not something you watch when you're after intricate, multi-layered narratives, thematic depth or personal resonance. The only feeling happening during porn has nothing to do with emotions. Since your tastes don't lean towards the critically-acclaimed stuff, we'd normally consider you for B-movies. However, your more-colourful-than-average sexual history suggests you might also be ready for a spot in the adult entertainment industry.

 

At the same time if you wanted to move above porn, you could. Try it for a while, then get a new agent and sign up on a hit TV show. After all, actors like Simon Rex did pornography before becoming successful actors (and in fact having that sort of scandalous background can be GREAT for publicity).

 

If, however, you decide to stick to, uh... sticking to it, your success will depend on two things. Firstly, how much publicity you're prepared to push for. While your publicity score is lower, something in the 30-50 range would help boost your star status. Secondly, keep clean, as you appear to have done fairly well so far. The best in the biz do NOT let themselves disappear in a cloud of white powder. Your celebrity-alike could therefore be someone like Jenna Jameson or Matthew Rush. Porn's a big industry, though, and if neither of those suit you, you'll still find your niche!

 

To put it more simply, your work as a celebrity would have:

 

A high emphasis on sex

 

A low emphasis on drug consumption

 

A low level of publicity

 

A high degree of career credibility

 

 

Babe, you're great. You're a star. You should take one of my other tests, though...

The Shampoo Commercial Suitability Test

Sunbeams. Conditioner. Brand names. People flipping their hair for no apparent reason.

 

What's Your Price?

Money. Money. Money.

 

Is Your Boss Evil?

Coercion. Corporate blackmail. Sexual harassment. Lots of yelling

 

The Beverage Identity Test

Fizz. Alcohol. Obscure liquids with funny colours.

 

The Homicidal Maniac Test

Cults. Video games. Fisticuffs. Drunken brawls. Anger management seminars.

 

The Underwear Personality Test

Boxer briefs. Boylegs. Nighties. Corsets. Painful-looking chain-link contraptions.

 

The Scatterbrain Test

Memory. Stress. Distraction by flashing colours.

 

The Verbal Obscenity Test

Swear words. Dirty talk. Holy names. Insults. More swear words.

 

The Internet/SMS Literacy Test

LOLs. ROFLs. LMAOs. WTF?

 

The Excessive Cuteness Tolerance Test

Babies. Puppies. Kittens. Purple dinosaurs. Cartoon characters with blue hair and disturbingly large eyes.

 

The Non-Sequitur Personality Test

Gravel. Raspberries. Guatemala. Fingernail clippings. Twister. Butt cheeks.

Their Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

  • sex Distribution

    They scored 60% on sex, higher than 82% of your peers.

  • drugs Distribution

    They scored 16% on drugs, higher than 39% of your peers.

  • publicity Distribution

    They scored 34% on publicity, higher than 38% of your peers.

  • career cred Distribution

    They scored 45% on career cred, higher than 23% of your peers.

All possible test results

The Production Assistant

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as The Production Assistant.   Looking at your result... Read more

The Respected Filmmaker

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE RESPECTED FILMMAKER.   The tough thing about your position in the dog-eat-dog world o... Read more

The B-Lister

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE B-LISTER.   You'd basically be the person who frequently gets photographed in the lif... Read more

The Oscar Nominee

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE OSCAR NOMINEE.   But will the sentence, "and the Oscar goes to..." finish with your n... Read more

The Junkie

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE JUNKIE.   Oh, dear. So many addictions, so few to make the front cover. Your test res... Read more

The Edgy Director

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE EDGY DIRECTOR.   On the upside: you've got a taste for quality. Something in your tes... Read more

The Alcoholic

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE ALCOHOLIC.   A public case of drunk and disorderly, that's you. Or, at least, that's ... Read more

The Gritty Actor

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE GRITTY ACTOR.   Hit film. Rehab. Hit film. Rehab. Hit film. Drunken behaviour. This i... Read more

The Porn Star

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE PORN STAR.   Let's face it - pornography is not something you watch when you're after... Read more

The Sex Symbol

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE SEX SYMBOL.   Whether you use it or not in the industry, either your sexual past or y... Read more

The Plus-One

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE PLUS-ONE.   You're going to be in the public eye, all right - but it's going to be ab... Read more

The Heartthrob

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE HEARTTHROB.   In your case, it's all about three things. Firstly, picking good roles.... Read more

Therapist to the Stars

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as a THERAPIST TO THE STARS.   You don't appear to be big on the public eye - either you're ... Read more

The Suffering Artist

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE SUFFERING ARTIST.   That is, if you can call it suffering. As a celebrity, you'd prob... Read more

The Tabloid Trash

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE TABLOID TRASH.   It's all about the sex, drinking and drugs in your case - but it's a... Read more

The Fallen Star

We've run you past our talent scouts and casting agents. Looks like you're getting a part as THE FALLEN STAR.   Your taste in film, as per that last section of the test, indicate you... Read more

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