The vacant mind Test

All possible test results

old

you are boring, old or near death. please get off the computer. Read more

boring

I'm yawning, but I don't see anyone else around here. Sorry I wasted your time. Read more

somewhat odd

You and I might have nothing to talk about. I prescribe sour milk and some rotten eggs, and come back when you have time. Read more

Dolt Whiner

You are extremely silly but you need to work on how you dress. Try splashing some red paint on your clothes and think about not thinking. Read more

Total Maniac

If I had a stick I would decide for you : BUT I CANNOT DECIDE. Run around and eat lots of candy, because there's no hope for you. Read more

naked elm

Just stand in the yard like a lawn ornament. Read more

Wolfgang Harpy

You are beginning to see the vacant mind, but you aren't there yet. I depend on you for doing menial jobs in the world so I can remain on the carpet, drunk. Read more

Achieving Lost

Soon you will have nowhere to turn. Decide now if you want to continue on the path toward no brain or get married and buy a house. It may be too late for you. Read more

Tongue outside.

Hang out in the treehouse and buy a lot of russian bonds. You'll need it when the next comedy comes out. You probably laugh a lot or want to but snort milk. Read more

Maniac Craven

Sometimes you worry people around you. This is not a problem, just drink mango juice and wait for the ravens. Read more

Scientist

Research chemicals, thick poetics, or dry humor: you are the Scientist, and probably think outside the box a lot, but your pants are on too tight. Don't be my neighbor: buy some eggs and throw them at... Read more

Cruisin'

Somewhere in the normal scheme, but you have fun. This is good. TROUBLE IS YOU KNOW IT. GO back and take this again. Read more

Bathing in strange.

Congradulations, you have a healthy dose of strangeness. Next time you take a bath, why don't you bring some lemon wedges with you? The duckies like it. Mmmm. Read more

Eraserhead fan.

What else is there to say? You're probably watching David Lynch movies in french with english subtitles, right now. Vous le vous acoutrant, I hit the wine, then desert my family to scratch out gold de... Read more

Glassblower.

Slaphappy and smacked on droon voles, dig yourself a trench and fill it with paper. The castle floats heavily in the brine harbor, but that's not for you to say. Nuh-nuh awards you GOLD MEDAL. Read more

Blind

So abstract you're blind. Get some windshield wipers and get the egg cream out. Read more

Dumb

Your dumb, but your brain isn't quite empty. Bricks and stones are helpful, bang out a rhythm and frisk in dark waters. Read more

Bag of ends.

Wipe off the positron converter and decide for yourself if the salami costs too much. $4.98! Read more

Lime wedge.

Sice up the gin&tonic, you are the lime wedge! Go read some kafka. Read more

Lemon disaster.

Woah, congradulations. You are a lemon disaster. Considerably abstract and silly, DUR DUR AWARDS GOLD MEDAL. DUH.... Your drool is the constant glue that molds the universe not-together. Pat yourse... Read more

Mongoose

You are a testament to bizzaro sephiroth. Get away from me. Read more

Tomato soup.

Big getty star decides you should roll in oil and decide for yourself. Retake test. Read more

Lamb shovel.

Once upon a time, my mother said, "Who is that girl in your bed?" Decide if your ugly widow is as spiteful as you think. No, wait, she's alive and you're dead. How quaint! Read more

No-mind

Almost totally braindead, you'd be proud if you had that chunk left. I imagine the EKG readout left you stuttering, reaching for the sink. It's amazing you can even take this test. Dur-Dur award GOLD... Read more

Vacant-mind

Unbelievable. The summit of taoist abandon is yours. You cruise effortlessly through the universe, pure energy. I bow down and strike myself with a candycane in thy honor. Dur-Dur award PLATINUM DIAM... Read more