Their result for The Advanced could you survive in London Test ...
Your chance of survival in London is 88%
For those of you who haven't done my first "Could you survive in London test", here is the URL.
1. You are told by your new boss that there is a dress code in the organisation and you need to go and get your "Barnet" done. What does he mean?
You are being told to get your hair cut
Barnet Fair = Hair (Rhyming slang)
2. You are introduced to the office junior. As you walk away your mentor describes her as a chav. What does this mean?
She is an uncultured person
Chav is derogatory street slang for a person who is considered to be low class or common. A chav stereotype will commonly wear fake designer gear and cheap jewellery.
3. Your mentor then says that, "Everything about that girl is Sexton Blake". What does he mean?
Everything about her is fake
Sexton Blake is a fictional detective whose name has been adopted as rhyming slang - this is also sometimes used as slang for a cake.
4. You are then introduced to a male colleague who is described as a "Fudge packer". What does this mean?
He is homosexual
One of many common (and disgusting) slang terms for a gay man.
5. You are told that the person you are replacing has got the "Tin tack". What does this mean?
He or she got fired
Tin tack = Sack (Rhyming slang)
6. You are asked to go out to buy "Banger butties" all round. What does this mean?
Get some sausage sandwices for everyone
Butty is slang for sandwich, banger is slang for sausage.
7. The office junior asks you to buy some "Lemon Barley" as well. What does she mean?
She is asking you to buy her some cocaine
Charley is common street slang for cocaine.
Lemon Barley = Charley (Rhyming slang)
8. A colleague returns from a lunchtime run and tells you he has "Betty Swollocks". He does he mean?
His testicles are hot and damp
Bollocks is a very commonly used slang word for testicles, it may even be used as an expletive.
Betty Swollocks = Bollocks (Rhyming slang)
9. You are asked why you are on the "Bitch piss" and told to have a real drink. What are you likely to be drinking?
Bitch piss is slang that has started to be used for "Girlie" drinks.
10. You told by a friend that he's going outside "To bum a fag"? What does he mean?
He wants to scrounge a cigarette
In Britain fag is slang for a cigarette, and bum means to scrounge or borrow!
11. A male in the party informs you that his wife is "Up on blocks". What does he mean?
She has her period
A term that is used for a car that is out of action, is also starting to be used for a woman is menstruating.
12. You have difficulty understanding someone and are told it is because he/she is a "Porridge wog". What does this mean?
He or she is Scottish
This is seemingly rather a racist expression, but it is an affectionate term for a Scotish person.
13. A man in your party is admiring an attractive blonde woman. He told that she is probably an "Aeroplane blonde" by others. What are they warning him of?
That she is not a natural blonde
Blonde hair on top, black box down below!
14. Encouraged by others, he goes up to her and asks if she is up for a bit of "Sword fighting". What is he suggesting to her?
He is asking her if she will have oral sex with two men at once
Sword fighting is a crude term for the above sex act
15. He returns saying that he bets "She could get the back wheels in too". What does he mean?
He thinks her mouth is big enough to fit their testicles in as well
Back wheels is commonly used slang for testicles.
16. Someone excuses themself saying that they "Need to see a brown friend off to the coast. What are they going to do?
They need to go to the toilet
One of the many popular terms for saying you need to defecate.
17. You buy a second hand car and are told it will cost a "Monkey". How much is this?
A "Monkey" is a term for the sum of £500.
18. You need your car repaired within weeks and are told it will cost you a "Grand". How much are you being asked for?
A "Grand" is a term for the sum of £1000.
19. The mechanic then goes on to say, "If you gimme pictures of the queen, I'll knock off the VAT." What is he saying?
A discount for cash
All goods and services in the UK should be charged with Value Added Tax shown as a separate item on the bill. It is very common for tradespeople to "forget" to add VAT if they are paid in cash!
20. You tell a mate how much you spent on your car. His/her response is that you must be feeling "Wallace and Gromit". What does he/she mean?
You must feel sick
Wallace and Gromit = Vomit (Rhyming slang)
21. You are asked if you are too "Polo" to go out tonight. What does this mean?
Do you have enough money to go out?
Skint is a popular way of saying you have no money.
Polo Mint = Skint (Rhyming slang)
22. Your friends then suggest you find a "Drink link". What are they suggesting you do?
Go to a cashpoint machine
So named because so many people go to the cashpoint before a night out.
23. You buy something in a shop and are told it will cost "Ten bob". How much is this?
Before we converted to decimal currency in 1970, ten bob was slang for ten shillings - so it would probably be an older person that used this term. Ten shillings is equivalent to 50p in new money.
24. If you "Level off" a London cabbie, what is he likely to do?
Abuse you for not giving him a tip!
Levelling off is cab driver slang for a passenger that offers the exact money!
25. You inadvertantly park your car in front of a neighbour's drive. He/she comes out and threatens to call in "The filth" if you don't move it. If he does who will come?
The filth is a commonly used term for the police force.
26. Your female flatmate says she urgently needs some blob hammocks and asks you to go out and buy some for her.
Some sanitary towels
On the blob is a term for a menstruating woman who obviously needs some blob hammocks.
27. She then goes on to suggest trying the "Paki" down the road. She is likely to mean?
Go to the corner shop
There are many Asian shop keepers running small business that are open all hours in the UK, and this is a term of affection not abuse.
28. Your flatmates want to send out for a "Chinky". What is this?
A Chinese meal
A Chinky is another seemingly racist term commonly used to describe a Chinese person, restaurant or meal.
29. You have been kept awake by your neighbours. A man knocks in the morning and apologises for the noise saying they were "Tanked up". This means they were?
Tanked up is widely used as slang for people who have had too much alcohol.
30. He then goes on to say he had a "Right Barny" with the wife. What happened?
They had a violent argument
Barny is a widely used term for an argument.
31. In the conversation he says that everything is now "Sorted". What does this mean?
They have made up
Sorted is often used as a way of saying agreement has been reached, or a problem solved.
32. Finally he suggests you come round later for some Lilley and Skinner. What is he inviting you in for?
Lilly and Skinner was the name of a chain of shoe shops and has come to be used as rhyming slang for dinner.
33. One up the bum, no harm done. This means?
Anal sex is good for you
A common saying. Perhaps it came from the British habit of sending their children to single sex boarding schools!
34. Your friend tells you his/her new lover has a "Tiffany Box". This means that...
Her pubic hair is dyed blue, and shaved in a square shape
Tiffany do pack their products in distinctive blue boxes, and box is also slang for private parts!
35. He/she then goes on to tell you that he need to sort out his/her "Dustpan and brush".
He/she has thrush
Dustpan and Brush = Thrush (Rhyming slang)
36. If a man walked into a salon and asked for a "Back, crack and sack", what would he get?
A wax treatment to remove excess body hair
This treatment would remove hair from the back, crack of the arse, and testicular sack.
37. Lipservers are what?
Very brief panties
Need I explain?
38. If a woman tells you her "Pipes need cleaning", she is likely to mean?
She hasn't had sex for a while
Cleaning a woman's pipes is one of the many terms used here for sexual intercourse!
39. If a woman flashes you "The vertical smile", what might this mean?
Short skirt, no panties!
I first heard "Flashing you the vertical smile" used as a term for a woman's outer sexual organs, when I went to see Barry Humpries as Dame Edna Everage. I assume this slang came from Australia, I have heard it a few times since then.
40. If a dark haired lady such as myself told you that her pussy is "Black with a pink nose", does this mean?
I am describing my private parts to you
I was asked this question about my private parts once in my lifetime - and I have never forgotten!
Their Analysis (Vertical line = Average)
They scored 88% on language skills, higher than 64% of your peers.
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