The Which DOORS song are you? Test

"Sidewalk crouches at her feet like a dog that begs for something sweet ... do you think you'll make her see you fool ... do you hope to pluck this dusky jewel?"

_{You scored highest in Reveller, so your Doors song is Hello, I Love You. It's one of their better known radio hits, an innocent little pop ditty celebrating the physical beauty of womanhood, yet built around a very creative riff and with an instantly recognizable sound to it.  A song about impetuously falling head-over-heels for the next beautiful girl that walks by ("Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name?"), a casual flirtation that starts off brash and simple, yet becomes increasingly surreal as it progresses.  It's almost like he's just flirting and joking around with her, and then some strange mind-altering drug kicks in and he starts reciting poetry about sidewalks crouching at her feet. This song is so surreal, both lyrically and musically, that it might give you the unsettling feeling that you're on the edge of a mild acid trip while it's playing. Say what you will, but nobody else was writing lyrics quite like that at the time. Or ever since. Morrison begins with a basic teenage "booty call" and before it's over he turns it into surrealist poetry.}

_{As for what this song indicates about you ... I guess it suggests you believe in the old adage "he who hesitates is lost" (an adage which I've found to be true more often than not). If you had scored a little higher on the Reveller part, you would have ended up with Light My Fire, but apparently your hormones aren't THAT out of control.}

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_{MY SCORING SYSTEM ... OR A BRIEF EXPLANATION OF WHY ANY OF THIS SHOULD MAKE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER}

_{I based this test around four of the crucial elements underlying much of The Doors' music, and also what I perceive to be four distinct facets of Jim Morrison's personality. It's not a perfect system but I think there's a certain logic to it that we can apply here (if you have a better way of doing it, be my guest). These four variables are as follows ...}

_{>>> The Shaman is a spiritual guru, the American Indian's "medicine man" who enters into a trance-like state and enacts a ritual to bring his audience to enlightenment. This is an essential quality of songs like "Break On Through To The Other Side" or any Doors song where mystic knowledge is sought after.}

_{>>> The Reveller is a hedonist that alters his consciousness through physical ecstasy -- sex, alcohol, drugs, and so on -- seeking the Palace of Wisdom through the Road of Excess. This is an essential quality of songs like "Light My Fire" or any Doors song about passion and youthful exhuberance.}

_{>>> The Exile is an outcast that has been alienated by his fellow man, an outsider condemned to a lonely and misunderstood existence. This is an essential quality of songs like "People Are Strange" or any Doors song dealing with alienation and rejection.}

_{>>> The Nihilist is an existential cynic that sees Death as the only real Truth. He or she lives life for the moment and objects to laws, tradition, religion, or any other form of social control ... life is too short to worry about other people's rules. The Nihilist is the proverbial Rebel Without A Cause. This is an essential quality of songs like "When The Music's Over" or any Doors song based on discontent and fatalism.}

_{Most Doors songs contain varying degrees of these four principles, although some songs are very strongly inclined towards one of the four. I didn't include every Doors song ever made in this test, but I did try to include most of their best songs, at least insofar as I could fit them into the framework of my crude scoring system. It's far from perfect, but I think it works in a weird sort of way. Hopefully Morrison isn't rolling over in his grave right now. I mean assuming he's actually in there to begin with.}

_{THE END is the exception to the four variables ... you cannot get this song by scoring high or low in any of these variables. You can only score THE END if you look beyond the four variables and see the true essence of The Doors. There's more to The Doors than "the image" of The Doors ... it's not just about a sex symbol in leather pants tripping on acid and saying the word "fuck" over and over. Forget the hype, just listen to the music. It's some of the most unique and innovative and mind-opening music you will ever experience.}