The Little Girls Who Can Totally Fuck Your Shit Up Test

Their result for The Little Girls Who Can Totally Fuck Your Shit Up Test ...

Rhoda

When can I fuck someone's shit up?

You are Rhoda from The Bad Seed!

Well, the good news is that you prefer the direct approach, which means generally you’re not an annoying passive aggressive little bitch. People can appreciate that about you. But…

You’re kind of evil. Not extreme evil. You’re not evil for the sake of being evil. You just don’t have little things like a conscience or morals. You know, the things most people consider the hallmark of humanity.

Maybe it’s not entirely your fault. Maybe, as the movie suggests, evil is genetic. Perhaps it can be passed down through subsequent generations? Perhaps it’s a recessive gene? We don’t know exactly, because Gregor Mendel, the father of modern genetics, did his experiments on peas, not little girls. I’m sure, given time, Mendel could have isolated the gene-coding that caused Rhoda to beat the ever living fuck out of a schoolmate with her tap shoes. The paper would have been called something like “Experiments in Plant Hybridization Along with Causation of Juvenile Females Engaging in Upward Metaphoric Intercourse With Your Shit.

Yes, Rhoda really did kill someone with her tap shoes. That’s how you roll, too. You want something, so you take the direct approach. Like in the movie: Rhoda wants a penmanship medal. Her schoolmate wins it instead. Stop. Hammer time.

ABOVE PHOTO: That sparkle in her eyes? Yeah, that's not a happy sparkle. That's a bad sparkle. That's your untimely demise getting all sparkly in there.

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking about what the other categories are, and how complete your life would be if you knew what they were. I am all-knowing, and generous, too:

Lame

Alia from Dune

Charlie McGee from Firestarter

Samara from The Ring

Regan from The Exorcist

Their Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

  • evil Distribution

    They scored 8% on evil, higher than 94% of your peers.

  • directness Distribution

    They scored 3% on directness, higher than 23% of your peers.

All possible test results

Lame

Yeah, guess what? Your scores don't merit a category. Seems like you're a little too passive agressive. You're what we call "an avoider." Which means you don't get a category. There are no lit... Read more

Alia from Dune

You're Alia from Dune! Creepy! You kind of fall into the middle. You’re not quite evil exactly, but maybe you’re not exactly 100% good. You can be direct and forward, but you can als... Read more

Charlie McGee

You are Charlie McGee from Firestarter! Aww, look at your big cute Japanimation eyes. Look at your innocent face. Look at the sheer grotesque amount of flaming hot burning murder you are ... Read more

Samara from The Ring

You are Samara from The Ring! Well, the test has concluded that you are a pretty evil person. But for some reason, you’re kind of passive aggressive. You’re not a real go-getter. You... Read more

Rhoda

You are Rhoda from The Bad Seed! Well, the good news is that you prefer the direct approach, which means generally you’re not an annoying passive aggressive little bitch. People can appr... Read more

Regan MacNeil

You are Regan MacNeil from The Exorcist! Gross! That whole “with great power comes great responsibility” crap never really took with you. In other words, you can hand someone their as... Read more

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