The Depth and Maturity Test

All possible test results

Gorilla

You're a real charmer. You belong in a zoo. The only way I'd take you anywhere is on a leash. Read more

Neanderthal

Good heavens. Well, you may evolve someday, but I won't be inviting you to any of my parties. That's okay, though, you don't have the capacity to understand what you're missing out on. Read more

Babe in the Woods

Well, well, well. You're immature and super shallow. If you're only about five years old, that's okay. If not, please get therapy. Read more

Child

You are somewhat mature but super shallow. I'm guessing you're about nine years old, or wish you were, or act like you are. Have fun playing video games. Read more

Childish

Frankly, I don't think it's possible to get this score, but if you did, that means you are somehow very mature yet extremely shallow. Talking to you must be like talking to a computer. The numbers add... Read more

Primate

Aren't you a dear? Can you do tricks? Maybe your children will evolve into nice people. But they're going to be apologizing for your behavior forever. Read more

Frat Boy

Dude! Parrrty! You are very shallow and childish. You must be a frat boy! I make a distinction, by the way, between "frat boys" and "fraternity men". I was a fraternity man myself, and proud of it. I... Read more

Dope

Oh you. You're just a big dope. Give us a hug! Okay now go away. Read more

College Student

You are very shallow and yet somewhat mature. That means you must be in college. You probably party too much, drink a lot, kinda study and do what you're sposed to, but basically you don't think too f... Read more

Old Grouch

So you're mature yet very shallow. You old grouch! How'd you make it this far? How was the divorce? Read more

Big Goof

You're shallow and completely immature. But you're probably lovable. I bet people call you "Teddy Bear" or something cute. Go see some foreign films and read "The Phantom Tollbooth" by Norton Juster a... Read more

Teenage Boy

Your test results indicate you are both shallow and childish. You must be a teenage boy, or at least you act like one. Don't worry, someday you'll laugh about your crazy antics. Read more

Sorority Girl

Hi! You must be a sorority girl! Know why? 'Cause you're both shallow and immature! K? But hey, some of my best friends have been sorority girls. And you do rate higher on this scale than frat boys, ... Read more

Student Activist

Hell no, we won't go! Yeah! Take back the night! Wow! Look at you! Full of passion! You're shallow yet somewhat mature! How'd you manage that? You must be a student activist, or an activist of some ... Read more

Petulant

The test categorized you as mature yet shallow. I guess you're pretty petulant. I'm glad I don't live with you. Your maturity probably makes you very patient, but your lack of depth means that you're ... Read more

Embarrassment

Hoo boy. You're actually somewhat deep yet you're completely immature. You probably pick on people. Yes, you can sense what's wrong with them, but you lack the tact for telling them. Here's a hint: Mi... Read more

Emotional Volcano

You've got depth, yet you're childish! Good Lord, how did that happen? Your depth means you probably feel things very strongly, but your lack of maturity means you don't know when to express those fe... Read more

Teenage Girl

This is actually a compliment. You're kinda deep and you're immature, but you've got a lot of years left to grow. You probably feel things deeply and think no one understands you. You're probably righ... Read more

Feminist

O somewhat deep and somewhat mature person! I bow to you! You think and you feel and you think about your feelings and have feelings about your opinions. I bet you're a lot of fun to be with. I hope... Read more

Sensitive

You must be an artist or a writer or something. Maybe an actor, but they're usually more shallow than this. Anyway, you are mature and somewhat deep. Lucky you. Lucky me if I ever meet you. E-mail me... Read more

Baby Genius

You're deep yet extremely immature. You feel every little thing, yet don't know how to express yourself appropriately or with any restraint. You must be a baby. You must also be a genius to be able to... Read more

Prodigy

You are very deep yet you're childish. How old are you? Really? Wow. Sit up straight. I bet you're fun to talk to. What do you think? Okay stop talking now. Go out and play. Read more

Honor Student

Eager to learn! Ready for any challenge! Powered by a voracious mind and a love for all living things! It's a nerd! It's a brain! It's... an HONOR STUDENT! "And there was much rejoicing." If you kno... Read more

College Professor

If you're not a college professor, you're still probably underpaid, overworked, overqualified, and working on a novel or something in your spare time. You're also very deep and somewhat mature. If yo... Read more

E-mail me NOW!

Okay, this is scary. You're perfect. You're deep and mature. Now I'm starting to feel inadequate. I just don't know if I can live up to your high standards. I can't take this pressure... Kidding! Hop... Read more