Their result for The Which Brainwashed Jarhead Would You Be Test ...

Private Shitbag

You made it to sergeant but got busted for DUI, nice job, Assclown

You pretty much fucked the dog on this one, Marine. You had a half-decent career going til you let your raging alcoholism become known by your chain of command. Call a cab next time, dickwad.

Their Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

  • EgoDog Distribution

    They scored 11% on EgoDog, higher than 22% of your peers.

  • TopDog Distribution

    They scored 5% on TopDog, higher than 13% of your peers.

  • DirtyDog Distribution

    They scored 11% on DirtyDog, higher than 60% of your peers.

  • DUIDog Distribution

    They scored 25% on DUIDog, higher than 100% of your peers.

  • Gung-hoe Distribution

    They scored 0% on Gung-hoe, higher than 30% of your peers.

  • DevilDog Distribution

    They scored 3% on DevilDog, higher than 16% of your peers.

  • Hotdog Distribution

    They scored 18% on Hotdog, higher than 92% of your peers.

  • Loser Distribution

    They scored 0% on Loser, higher than 29% of your peers.

All possible test results

Cpl. Arrogant Fuckface

p>You are so cocky you are right this very minute plastered with a shit-eating grin because you feel the word cocky does or should apply to you on the literal level as well. This makes me want to g... Read more

Sgt. Sickfuck, Recon Marine

You are a stellar marine in that you excel at killing shit and generally not giving a fuck. You are that dude with the creepy eyes who sits in his barracks room hand-sewing his gilly suit a... Read more

LCPL I Don't Give A Shit

You joined the Corps on a whim and live to regret it. You may or may not attempt to strangulate yourself or others with your bootbands before you serve your four years and get the hell out. Read more

Lance Corporal Manslut

You will serve your country and your fellow man by doin' your best friend's girlfriend a few times and then dumping her (and possibly his mom if she's hot enough). You couldn't care less about t... Read more

Private Shitbag

You pretty much fucked the dog on this one, Marine. You had a half-decent career going til you let your raging alcoholism become known by your chain of command. Call a cab next time, dickwa... Read more

Gung-Hoe

One of three things will happen to you, Lady Leatherneck-- A) You will become a big-time skank B) You will get married, pregnant, and out of the Corps in less than three years ... Read more

Master Guns

You took not only this test too seriously, but also your brainwashing by the big green weenie. You are a helluva Marine, which unfortunately probably means your wife is gonna leave you as s... Read more

You can't handle the Corps

You didn't even make it to week three in bootcamp. You tell all your friends back home this was due to a "back injury" but really it was because you spent two solid weeks weeping like a newborn gir... Read more

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