Their result for The Thinking Woman's Masturbation Test ...

Master of your...

You scored 59 spiciness, 55 stamina, and 67 daring!

own domain. I bow to you, o Master Bator. You're dirtier than I am. Just make sure you squeeze in some actual sex, or you're a loser. I'm a loser too, but at least I can jerk off while I fanasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble hell.

Their Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

  • spiciness Distribution

    They scored 59% on spiciness, higher than 77% of your peers.

  • stamina Distribution

    They scored 55% on stamina, higher than 69% of your peers.

  • daring Distribution

    They scored 67% on daring, higher than 89% of your peers.

All possible test results

Chicken Shit

You are a loser. I bet all your friends are losers. You aren't even getting action from yourself you are such a loser. I bet you need two tissues when you jerk off--one to wipe with, and one to cry... Read more

Cold Fish

You may have a few bright ideas, but you still can barely play with yourself. I feel sorry for your parents. I bet your mom had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get the dog to play with y... Read more

Male

You're like a guy, just jerking off to get off. I pity you. Why don't you get a bunch of freakin candles, play some whale sounds, and relax in the tub? Just watch so your willy doesn't get caught i... Read more

Self-Abuse

Not completely pitiful, but try shaking things up once in awhile. Head to Ambiance, I swear it's not scary. They even offer you batteries with your purchase. Because you will never get laid. Learn... Read more

All Talk

You're just all talk aren't you? Get down and dirty with your bad self. I bet you're a tease, but you let guys cum on your stomach. That's disgusting. I bet you'd let them throw up on you too, if ... Read more

Self-Love

Gosh don't you just love yourself so much? Mmmmm. If you had a clone of yourself I bet you'd fuck em. So would I. But I'm sexy. You're probably a sad sad person for even taking this test. Anyway... Read more

Darling Nikki

You dirty bitch. I bet you do the kind of shit that only Prince would sing about. Good for you. I want to be the meat in a Prince sandwich, don't you? Fuck Diamond and Pearl, or whatever. Read more

Master of your...

own domain. I bow to you, o Master Bator. You're dirtier than I am. Just make sure you squeeze in some actual sex, or you're a loser. I'm a loser too, but at least I can jerk off while I fanasize ... Read more

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