Mitch Hedberg

"People used to think I was hiiigh on stage, because people associate long hair with drug use. I wish long hair was associated with something other than drug use. Like an extreme longing for cake. Then strangers would see a long haired guy and say, That guy eats cake. He is on bundt cake. Mothers would say to their daughters, Dont bring the cake eater over here anymore! He smell like flour. Did you see how excited he got when he heard your birthday was fast approaching?" You are Mitch Hedberg! His unique stage presence and unconventional delivery helped him acquire a cult following before his untimely death in 2005. Like Mitch you see appreciate uncomplicated humor and see the lighter side in all aspects of life.

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Mitch Hedberg

"People used to think I was hiiigh on stage, because people associate long hair with drug use. I wish long hair was associated with something other than drug use. Like an extreme longing for cake. The... Read more

Steven Colbert

"Every time the President comes up with a new secret tactic to take down al Qaeda, the media blows its cover. Torture, monitoring our phone calls, monitoring our emails, secret prisons, all perfectly ... Read more

Daniel Tosh

"I was watching the country music channel the other day and I fell asleep and I woke up racist. That's weird. They should but a warning on that channel. I just wanted to nap during the dixie chicks, n... Read more

George Carlin

"Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific thin... Read more

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