The What's Your Major Malfunction (in Bed) Test
Their result for The What's Your Major Malfunction (in Bed) Test ...
35% Climax, 70% Carnality, 81% Control, 19% Caution
"Featherstone, could you see yourself kneeling behind me with a sawfish and thrusting it into my rectum yelling 'WHO'S THE MAN, WHO'S THE MAN'? Because that's currently the only way I can achieve even a glimmer of sexual satisfaction." –Herr Starr, Preacher
Dear, dear, dear. It certainly isn't easy being Herr Starr. Eros seems to enjoy coming by and taking you down a peg every so often. He gifted you with great sexual sophistication, but left you without a good outlet for your desires. Ah, shit. Guess there's only one thing to do: assassinate your boss, amass an army and start a world takeover.
But WAIT! We're going on the strength of the many-fish principle, remember? Besides, that sawfish was hyperbole; unlike Starr in the Preacher series, you have working equipment between your legs. No, in reality the main problem tends to be that you've become a little reliant on your hands and your tools (and perhaps on your porn?), making you a difficult person to satisfy.
You've brought your mighty intellect to bear on this problem, displacing some of your libido onto the mental aspects of sex. You probably enjoy holding your partner down, causing discomfort, maybe talking some trash. Carnal and submissive types, including The Steed and The Evil Genius, often get a real kick out of this. Just try not to lose sight entirely of the fact that others may find you scary as shit domineering.
Their Analysis (Vertical line = Average)
They scored 35% on Climax, higher than 7% of your peers.
They scored 70% on Carnality, higher than 73% of your peers.
They scored 81% on Control, higher than 95% of your peers.
They scored 19% on Caution, higher than 1% of your peers.
More tests we think you'll like
Taken 7695 times.
What is your knowledge of Famous Movie Quotes?
Taken 3299 times.
Do you watch Showtime's Hit Series "The L Word". Of course you do. How into this show are you? Let's find out!
Taken 24202 times.
This test is to show which kind of wife you are, or will be (if that is your thing). Remember to answer honestly, otherwise any future spouses out th...
Taken 5454 times.
This test is intended to just give you a laugh. In a day and age of constant competition I decided not to make this test about scoring but rather a br...
Taken 48894 times.
This is the ultimate and most accurate test one could ever take in this area. This test is for boys, but if you're a girl and you feel you REALLY want...
Taken 6814 times.
Hi! I'll be asking questions regarding the automotive cultural set u fit into. Also whether you are more speed/power oriented or more appearnce orien...
Taken 17143 times.
Find out which Doors song comes closest to describing the real you
Taken 163 times.
Bloque III - JL (2)
Taken 1890 times.
Hi! And welcome to my Progressive Rock music Test. I'll be using advanced logic and knowledge to determine if this music appeals to your tastes and yo...
Taken 26752 times.
Hi! And welcome to my dumbest Test. I'll be using no logic and little knowledge to determine something.
Connect your existing OkCupid account
Restore your account to continue meeting new people.
Reset your password
We’ll email you a link to reset it.
An email is on its way to you. If you don’t see it, try checking your Spam folder.