The What's Your Major Malfunction (in Bed) Test
Their result for The What's Your Major Malfunction (in Bed) Test ...
35% Climax, 70% Carnality, 81% Control, 19% Caution
"Featherstone, could you see yourself kneeling behind me with a sawfish and thrusting it into my rectum yelling 'WHO'S THE MAN, WHO'S THE MAN'? Because that's currently the only way I can achieve even a glimmer of sexual satisfaction." –Herr Starr, Preacher
Dear, dear, dear. It certainly isn't easy being Herr Starr. Eros seems to enjoy coming by and taking you down a peg every so often. He gifted you with great sexual sophistication, but left you without a good outlet for your desires. Ah, shit. Guess there's only one thing to do: assassinate your boss, amass an army and start a world takeover.
But WAIT! We're going on the strength of the many-fish principle, remember? Besides, that sawfish was hyperbole; unlike Starr in the Preacher series, you have working equipment between your legs. No, in reality the main problem tends to be that you've become a little reliant on your hands and your tools (and perhaps on your porn?), making you a difficult person to satisfy.
You've brought your mighty intellect to bear on this problem, displacing some of your libido onto the mental aspects of sex. You probably enjoy holding your partner down, causing discomfort, maybe talking some trash. Carnal and submissive types, including The Steed and The Evil Genius, often get a real kick out of this. Just try not to lose sight entirely of the fact that others may find you scary as shit domineering.
Their Analysis (Vertical line = Average)
They scored 35% on Climax, higher than 7% of your peers.
They scored 70% on Carnality, higher than 73% of your peers.
They scored 81% on Control, higher than 95% of your peers.
They scored 19% on Caution, higher than 1% of your peers.
More tests we think you'll like
Taken 4414 times.
Hi! And welcome to my Useless Trivia As Determined By the Author Test. I'll be using advanced logic and my useless knowledge amassed over years of veg...
Taken 1650 times.
Taken 2150 times.
Hi! And welcome to my Horse Racing Test.
Taken 1133 times.
Find out witch of Divergent faction you belong.
Taken 16171 times.
So theres and outbreak, and the un-dead walk the streets in search of fresh blood. What are you doing whilst all this happens? Are you searching for a...
Taken 4776 times.
Hi! And welcome to my runescape Test. I'll be using advanced logic and knowledge to determine your true nature.
Taken 41011 times.
Hi! And welcome to my dumbest Test. I'll be using no logic and little knowledge to determine something.
Taken 222 times.
Bloque III - JL (2)
Taken 16495 times.
Find out if I think teaching high school is the right career for you! Keep in mind, it's only my personal opinion. This test will be based on me, basically.
Taken 5193 times.
So, to be honest, I am just bored and I wanna know if there is anyone out there that matches my criteria for the type of man I want. Yes, I do want a ...
Connect your existing OkCupid account
Restore your account to continue
meeting new people.
Reset your password
We’ll email you a link to reset it.
An email is on its way to .
If you don’t see it, try checking
your Spam folder.