The Metaphysician Test

All possible test results

The Theist

A common mistake is assuming that "Theism" means religion. Theism isn't religion, it is in fact metaphysics, originating with Emperor Constantine, who transformed Christianity from a minority religion... Read more

The Idealist

Plato's Republic makes you feel fuzzy inside. You can rapturously quote from the Kant you agree with (and ignore the Kant you don't). You're the Idealist. Idealism got its start with Plato, and confu... Read more

The Gnostic

To you, the word "pleroma" doesn't sound like a brand of hair spray. No, you're the Gnostic, and you've embarked upon the path of secret knowledge through gnosis, or total spiritual awareness of the t... Read more

The Mystic

You're a mystic, someone who's experienced God but found out He wasn't like in the brochure. You know first-hand what it's like to encounter the ineffable, but have a healthy distrust of organized rel... Read more

The Rationalist

Cogito, ergo sum (the Rationalist). You don't have much of a handle on experimentation, but you're confident that the entirety of the universe conforms to rational principles, as otherwise man would ... Read more

The Kantian

Are things-in-themselves knowable, or can you only know things as they appear to you? The mystery of the noumena is at once your greatest challenge and the most distinctive part of your identity, Kan... Read more

The Taoist

The Way is flux. The Way is order. The Way is Chaos. And if you do it right, the Way is you. You have a good balance of the material and phenomenological realms in your personal experiences, and see ... Read more

The Thelemite

"For there are no Gods but Man"-Aleister Crowley That sure doesn't stop you from communing with them. You are the Thelemite, committed to the Western occult tradition of Spare, the Golden Dawn, Crowl... Read more

The Positivist

"Yes, but where is the evidence?" If you say this a lot, you may be a Positivist. You believe in truth, and that the only way to get it is through a process of rigorous experimentation. It's not that... Read more

The Naturalist

You may be a Deist, or an atheist, or a Buddhist for all we know. But we know that you're a Naturalist, and you're convinced everything runs on a natural platform. You don't believe in miracles or re... Read more

The Existentialist

Spending equal time in the material and phenomenological realms, the deep thinker, condemned to be free, you are the Existentialist. Life to you is about choices, and those choices occur not only wit... Read more

The Phenomenologist

You're up and ready to take in a big breath of epoche, you're the Phenomenologist! While you recognize the importance of the traditional hard sciences, you also realize that the Theory of Special Rel... Read more

The Reductionist

You're the reductionist. All you see when you look at the world is a collection of physical processes playing themselves out. You don't have much use for art and probably consider all religion at best... Read more

The Empiricist

There are those who say that the truths of the universe can all be spun from a person's own head, but you know that knowledge is founded in sensory experience. You are the Empiricist. The Empiricists... Read more

The Post-Modernist

Truth? Under what cultural premises? Identity? What is the relationship between signifier and signified? If large swaths of your conversations tend to take the form of rhetorical questions, you may be... Read more

The Chaos Magician

You're a chaos magician! Or at least, you should seriously look into it. You're skeptical of absolute truth and of the individual self, and realize that nothing is true and everything is permitted. Y... Read more