The True New Yorker Test

All possible test results

Slack-Jawed Yokel

Can't argue with science: there is no way you'd survive in this town for more than a week. If you just moved here, re-pack your overalls, pick up your pig from Uncle Jimmy Bob, and go back where you b... Read more

Jersey Trash

You might have some potential, but you shouldn't dive into the pool just yet. The pool's been peed in, anyway, but your stereotypical view of New York must mean you think that everything's already cov... Read more

Rat Racer

You have enough chutzpah to run with the teeming masses on a daily basis. You could pass for a native on your good days. You've even figured out which local sports teams' fans have the higher IQs. Bra... Read more

Goodfella

You? A New Yorker? Fuggedaboudit! You got that covered. Your favorite restaurant in Little Italy has your picture on the wall. You know how to say "screw you, pal" in five different languages. Your ex... Read more

King of New York

Congrats, champ! You run this city. You were born here, you were raised here, and with any luck, you'll die here. You think California is for da boids. You can get from Midtown to JFK in 45 minutes fl... Read more