You are the SPHINX. No, not the mighty riddle-asking beast of mythology-- the mutant hairless breed of cat. All you want to do is cuddle-- with anything, really, because your hosed genome has left you prone to life-threatening chills even in heated rooms-- and so you're often found snuggling with light bulbs, elderly dogs who hurt too much to run away, appliances, and the like.
SEEK: ANYTHING WARM. Look, it's better than freezing your whisk-- WHOOPS! Too late! You were born without those, too. AVOID: snakes, iced drinks, the outside world.
Links to all the VPI categories: Curious Bloodstain, Cuckoo's Nestmate, Meaningless Advice, Second From the Left, Quiet Horror, Naked Mole Rat, Iceberg Hidden in the Fog, Incomplete Tarot Deck, Dead Houseplant, Mistuned TV, Burned Out, Zombie Flamingo, Nurse Shark, Paper Cup, Lamprey, Pyroclastic Flow, Cassandra, Sphinx, Futility, Coleocanth, The Star! (MV), Swamp Island, PANIC!!1!, Lone Freeway Shoe, Bad Tattoo, Unnecessary Heimlich Maneuver, Illegible Warning.
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