You are the DEAD HOUSEPLANT. Force-grown, bought on a whim in a vague attempt to make the place nicer, and then either ignored, poisoned, or starved to death by the darkness of the room. To add insult to injury, you're headed straight for the landfill in a polyethylene bag-- you're not even going to ROT the way nature intended.
SEEK: people who think they'll be happier themselves if they can make someone else happy. (They're usually wrong-- but they're often good cooks, and can be persuaded to wear very interesting costumes to bed. Just DON'T SIGN ANYTHING.) AVOID: anyone with pets that are afraid to look them in the eye.
Links to all the VPI categories: Curious Bloodstain, Cuckoo's Nestmate, Meaningless Advice, Second From the Left, Quiet Horror, Naked Mole Rat, Iceberg Hidden in the Fog, Incomplete Tarot Deck, Dead Houseplant, Mistuned TV, Burned Out, Zombie Flamingo, Nurse Shark, Paper Cup, Lamprey, Pyroclastic Flow, Cassandra, Sphinx, Futility, Coleocanth, The Star! (MV), Swamp Island, PANIC!!1!, Lone Freeway Shoe, Bad Tattoo, Unnecessary Heimlich Maneuver, Illegible Warning.
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