Eastern Euro Vampire

You're not like your poof of a western cousin. You don't go for the effeminate seductive crap. You are a monster and DAMN proud of it. You are as hideous on the outside as you are on the inside. Where your prettier cousins want to plot and sit in their castle wruiting horrible poetry and mincing around, you are direct. You want blood. You want death. And you want it now. Some might call you mindless or animalistic. You prefer "Driven" or "single-minded." You may be ugly, but in the end, you're far more powerful than the vampires of Le Fanu, Rice, Stoker, and the other Victorian vamps.

All possible test results

Big Friendly Giant

Congrats on being the biggest pussy out of all the monsters. You are the star of a Roald Dahl book. You befriend Orphans and battle evil giants. Honestly, what the hell is wrong with you? Seriously,... Read more

Golem

A clay defender made by a Rabbi to protect Jews from Persecution. You are made of clay and you cannot speak, but your heart is in the right place. Well, if you HAD a heart. You can be very destructive... Read more

The Creature

Also known as Frankenstein's Monster or a Flesh Golem. You are a patchwork creature put together by Viktor Frankenstein, a man who envisioned himself the Modern Prometheus. You are stronger and more i... Read more

The Mummy

Even though you've been dead for thousands of years, your powers allow you to look very human. Unless you outwardly and freely display your supernatural might no one knows the wiser. Unless of course ... Read more

Western Vampire

Dapper, suave, congenial, and pure unadulterated evil. Sure you may have fooled fat chicks who spend too much time in a fantasy world, Anne Rice, and goths into thinking you're a misunderstood tragic ... Read more

Centaur

You're half man, half horse and all the ladies love you because you're got mare sized floppily doppilies. You are a poet, a warrior, and a friend to humanity all in one, although when angered your a... Read more

Zombie

Braaaaaains! BRAAAAAAAAINS! BRAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNNNNNNS! Sorry, just talking to you with the only word you can understand. You're brainless, slow, and exist only to eat. You're not evil persay, but yo... Read more

Ghost

Booga booga booga! You're a spooky ghost! Look at those chains! All evil ghosts have chains, right? For some reason you haven't passed on to the other side. Maybe you have a task left unfinished. May... Read more

Beetlejuice

Hey baby! You're the ghost with the most! The source of Laughter in the hereafter! Although there is no questioning you are funny and charismatic, you are without a doubt evil. You just like to demo... Read more

Ghoul

You're not a monster many think of right away, but the fact is you're pretty fucking evil. Originally Ghouls were desert dwelling shape shifting demons, but the name has now been handed down to a fl... Read more

Unicorn

A peaceful and magical horned horse of good representing purity and chastity. You can only be caught by virgins and Tim Curry really hates you while Tom Cruise loves you. You really hate Mr. Ed joke... Read more

Minotaur

Hey there, Man-Cow. How'd your mom explain YOU to your daddy? In classic greek Mythology, you guarded the Labyrinth of King Minos. Well, until you were slain by Theseus. You're not really evil. You... Read more

Werewolf

"Even a man who is pure in heart / And says his prayers at night / May become a wolf when the wolf-bane blooms / And the autumn moon is bright." You're a cursed killing machine. Forget what White Wo... Read more

Eastern Euro Vampire

You're not like your poof of a western cousin. You don't go for the effeminate seductive crap. You are a monster and DAMN proud of it. You are as hideous on the outside as you are on the inside. Where... Read more

Lich

An undead necromancer, kept alive through the centuries through sheer force of will and evil alone. Some Liches prefer to hang out reading musty old books and spending eternity learning. But a lot of ... Read more

Count Duckula

Although you come from a dynasty of hideously evil Vampire Ducks, something when wrong with this latest reincarnation and you are well...a Vegitarian. Nope, no blood for you. You're actually a very ni... Read more

Giant Monkey!

No one really knows where you came from. No one knows how you are possible. But there's one thing for certain: You are one big mother fucking monkey. You're not really evil, but you sure like to ste... Read more

Deep Ones

Alternatively you can also call yourself "The Creature From the Black Lagoon." It really doesn't matter because most humans will call you "Holy Shit! Fish Monster!" You're a hideous amalgamation of f... Read more

Jabberwock

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, t... Read more

Cenobite

Demons to some, Angels to other. These creatures have surpassed the mere human limitations of suffering and ecstacy. They can be summoned to humans who seek them out (knowingly or unknowingly) through... Read more

The Muppet Animal

Not at all evil, but as monsterous as you can get! You are amazingly destructive, barely articulate, but you are also a drummer in the very cool band of "Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem!" GO BYE B... Read more

Gamera!

You are the giant flying firebreathing Turtle who is friend to all children! Sure you once destroyed Tokyo and occasionally kill a few humans by trampling on them or incinerating them while doing batt... Read more

Godzilla

Up from the depths! Thirty stories high! Breathing fire! His head in the sky! Godzilla! Godzilla! Godzilla! And Godzookie.... You're can't get anymore monster-riffic than you big man. Sometimes you... Read more

Will o' The Wisp

Also known as a Feu Follet, you're a little ball of glowing concentrated evil. People go "Oh look! Pretty dancing happy light!" But before they know it, you've led them into quicksand or a bottomless ... Read more

CTHULHU!

They don't get any more evil than you. Hitler, Vald The Impaler, Lucifer Morningstar, George Bush? They ALL take lessons from you. You are a fallen god who once reigned surpreme over the other. You ... Read more

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