The OKCupid Profile Analysis Test

All possible test results

The Pharmie

Not to be confused with "Farmie", loving slang for one who farms. The drugs have eroded your mental capacity and daily routine. Additionally, you are super thin, just like your images suggest. It's at... Read more

The Black Hole

Hold on! "The Black Hole"? Sounds a bit negative, you say? Call yourself "The Collapsing Star", if it makes you feel better about being mentally unstable while your life is falling apart around you. H... Read more

The Los Angelean

Ahh, your pictures do display the true hotness of your physical form, which is important. However, you're a bit insane, stupid, and / or socially retarded. Good chance you barf up your meals an... Read more

Arm Candy

Hey, not everyone can be a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon. Don't let that bother you! Even though you're not my little space cadet, you're really cute, aren't destroying yourself, and are reasona... Read more

Social Butterbutt

Let's hear it for being hot and not socially retarded! yippee!! We need more people like you on the site to balance out the hideous, awkward masses. On the other hand, you're inclined to be that drunk... Read more

The Bottomless Pit

We're still not sure how you do it. We watch you gorge yourself at the buffets, sleep all night, and then wake up and read all day. This may not work so well for you after you've reached 30. It's a wo... Read more

The Compulsive Liar

Pretty, mentally stable, physically healthy... almost perfect. Except the whole dishonesty thing. Perhaps you're underage, live on the other side of the country, or your profile was generated by one o... Read more

Grade A

You made the cut! And a very fine one you are. Not only are your pictures an accurate depiction of your stunning physical form, you're mentally stable (maybe even a prodigy). You're also living a heal... Read more

Bottom of the Barrel

Not everyone can graduate at the top of the class. Someone has to fill out the other end of the curve. You are one of the chosen ones. This is not an honor though. You've been misrepresenting yourself... Read more

The Truth Fairy

There was a chance to earn points for honesty and you gobbled its balls! Good job, i think. At least people know what they're getting into when they message you. You may not be mommy's shining star, b... Read more

Recovering Addict

Maybe it was food or some form of drugs, or a combination of the two, on which you chose to gorge yourself. The experience has left you slightly scattered mentally. You're on a healthier path now thou... Read more

In Treatment

You're still kinda fucked up from whatever it is you've been through. Maybe a little cracked in the head. Maybe slighly porky from excess consumption of ice cream to quell your emotional upheaval. It'... Read more

Stereotypical Geek

No one really cares that you run Linux on an ancient 386 Pee Cee. They're not lining up at your house to jump your bones because of it. You're just number 31337 in the herd of sexually frustrated, phy... Read more

The Junkfood Junkie

So, it's great that you've got it together upstairs, perhaps even the life of the party. Keep in mind, though, other partygoers appreciate it when there's some food waiting for them when they get ther... Read more

In Denial

Is there a war raging inside you? Finding it difficult to explain the way you look, given your lifestyle choices? Is this conflict causing you to retreat inward, walling yourself inside the shell? Som... Read more

Prized Piglet

Didn't want to be the one to break this to ya. However, since it's been sugar coated and beaten around, here goes: Even though you're not stupid, you take decent care of yourself, and you're usually ... Read more