Listen, I'm all for cultural appropriation of religious holidays, so if you want to use St. Patrick's Day as The Day Before March 18th's Hangover, go for it. A few words of advice for getting through the sacred day alive:
1) Don't speak in a fake Irish brogue, even if you secretly think you can do it convincingly.
2) Don't call redheads "Paddy". Especially big ones.
3) Don't call them "shitbat" either.
4) Rod Stewart is Scottish. Singing "If You Want My Body" in honor of Ireland is poor form (as is wearing a kilt... also Scottish).
5) Tip your bartender. Tip your bartender. Tip your bartender.
Slainte! Er, cheers, dude.
Friends and Foes: To maximize your St. Patrick's Day pleasure, hang out with the Drinking Irish and the Charming Irish. Avoid the Fighting Irish, the True Irish and the Pious Irish... they're almost certain to kill you or your buzz.
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