Drinking Irish

Listen, I'm all for cultural appropriation of religious holidays, so if you want to use St. Patrick's Day as The Day Before March 18th's Hangover, go for it. A few words of advice for getting through the sacred day alive:

1) Don't speak in a fake Irish brogue, even if you secretly think you can do it convincingly.

2) Don't call redheads "Paddy". Especially big ones.

3) Don't call them "shitbat" either.

4) Rod Stewart is Scottish. Singing "If You Want My Body" in honor of Ireland is poor form (as is wearing a kilt... also Scottish).

5) Tip your bartender. Tip your bartender. Tip your bartender.

Slainte! Er, cheers, dude.

Friends and Foes: To maximize your St. Patrick's Day pleasure, hang out with the Drinking Irish and the Charming Irish. Avoid the Fighting Irish, the True Irish and the Pious Irish... they're almost certain to kill you or your buzz.

All possible test results

Drinking Irish

Listen, I'm all for cultural appropriation of religious holidays, so if you want to use St. Patrick's Day as The Day Before March 18th's Hangover, go for it. A few words of advice for getti... Read more

Fighting Irish

You've got the fiery temperant to match your hair. If it's red. It's no secret that some Irish like to fight.  Don't believe me? Put 'travellers boxing' into youtube and se... Read more

Blarney Irish

You have the gift of gab. You probably already know that you talk a lot. Fortunately for your listeners, I can now scientifically confirm that you're a wonderful speaker and... Read more

Pious Irish

St. Patrick's Day is primarily a traditional day of spiritual renewal and offering prayers for missionaries worldwide. Right? ... Read more

True Irish

...understand. You bleed green. You've taken an active interest in Irish heritage, and you know your own genealogy, as well as a bit about Ireland herself. You probably come from a family of very p... Read more

Charming Irish

Hey, there, charmer. You're more successful than average in relationships and romance. Congrats! You're probably pretty popular, and you make people feel at ease. Some peopl... Read more

Lucky Irish

You're not only truly Irish, you also have the luck of the Irish. Whatever you did in your past life... well-played. Some people have to struggle through life, waiting for j... Read more

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