The Face of Fear

If you were doing a porno, and the camera zoomed in and took a still photo of your orgasm face, they could just as easily use it to promote a horror film. NO NOT THAT YOU'RE UGLY (that's another category). You just look so friggin scared!

"WTF was that?" "Is somebody there?"

YES...I'm right here and have been humping you for about a half an hour now! What are you surprised about?!

Many people who have this face are uncomfortable with their sexuality or sexual practices. They're usually liars. That or they're sobering up and the beer goggles have become de-fogged! Doh! Don't be such a slut and/or easy fall guy next time!

BTW you suck in bed too. Actually you can only redeem this category if :

a) you are extremely good looking. And then for some reason, this automatically becomes the hottest category just because that's a power trip

or

b) you are "scared" into orgasm by The Ugly. And then if that's the case, heaven help you and any video/photographic recording equipment in the room!



View all the categories!


The Face of Fear

The Ugly

The Angry

The Blank

The Happy Dreamy

The "O"

All possible test results

The Face of Fear

If you were doing a porno, and the camera zoomed in and took a still photo of your orgasm face, they could just as easily use it to promote a horror film. NO NOT THAT YOU'RE UGLY (that's another categ... Read more

The Ugly

This is self explanatory. As there must be balance in life, there must be yin and yang, light and dark, mom and dad, left and right, etc. And if the sex is so damn good you do not care that you are ... Read more

The Angry

Ah...the passionate lay! You don't even have to be mad at your parnter! Some bitch called you a cunt at work? That asshole cut you off in traffic? Your girlfriend dumped you, but her fat sister th... Read more

Blank

You're the worst! You feel nothing. You say nothing. You DO NOTHING! You don't orgasm! You probably don't even attempt to fake it! Loving you is like loving the dead. Cold, stiff, and dry. At ... Read more

The Happy Dreamy

You enjoy sex. Just like you enjoy playing with small animals, or sunny days, or hugs. It's nice, pleasurable, maybe even relaxing, and there's no angst, aggression, or any hidden agenda in your love... Read more

The "O"

Also sometimes knows as the Hyperventillator, the "O" Face is probably the most common face we all make during orgasm. You just have worked your ass off to not only bring pleasure to your partner, bu... Read more

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