The Oddly Judgemental Test
Closet Case
That's right, you're queer. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Actually, it's totally natural. We live in a society that accepts you.
If only you didn't have that terrible case of genital warts.
Look For: The Rainbow Rider
Avoid: The Fucked Up Bastard
All possible test results
Dim Bulb
It's like you're not even trying. What are you doing with your life? You can't even make up your mind about what socks to wear without help, can you? I can't believe you even decided to take ... Read more
Old School Gangster
You're a gangster with the "r". You probably regularly hit up your mother for "protection" money. Not to mention this month's rent. Can't hold down a job that doesn't involve extortion? Did y... Read more
Shoe Whore
Is your closet brimming with your ill-gotten gains? And by gains I mean shoes. And by ill-gotten I mean purchased. And by hair I mean face. And by cut I mean burn. Did I ment... Read more
Saddle Shoe
You're white... but with a little bit of black. Go you! This is the best kind of shoe. Unfortunately, you're a dirty little whore also. You're smudging the pride of shoes everywhere with... Read more
Purple People Eater
Hungry? Well next time grab a fucking Snickers. Eating people is wrong. WRONG. Think before you act. You most likely havn't moved out of your parent's basement yet. And you're thirty... Read more
Fucked Up Bastard
You're one smug guy, ey? You kill 'em then you eat them. No need for evidence. What can I say to someone who obviously has so little regard for other human beings? Will it even matter?... Read more
Oxymoron
Please allow me to stress the "moron" in this category. I'm surprised you can tie the shoes that you obviously have no use for. The fact that between your spending sprees and your feeding frenzies you... Read more
Hiking Boot
You like the great outdoors. You like to walk. You also like to kill people with tommy guns, eat them, and drop their skeletal remains in a pit of acid. Good that all your ... Read more
Tentacle Monster
How many kinky, contrived, trite Anime porns have you been a part of? We all know you. Even if we'd rather not. You're everywhere. Just when we think we've gotten away, there you are with ano... Read more
Deep-Sea Diver
You learned early on that the currents of the river caused your victims to float to the surface too quickly. But you're a smart one, Mr. Grinch. You quickly switched your cement-shoe brigade to the g... Read more
Closet Case
I get it, you have lots of feet... you need lots of shoes. You probably havn't admitted this little proclivity to your parents yet though, have you? That's right, you're queer. Not that there... Read more
Rainbow Rider
You combine some of the negative effects of a number of the categories. Some may call you "eccentric" but I call you "totally fucked in the head". Maybe you have downs syndrome? Stockholm syn... Read more
Man Eating Walrus
You scored the motherfucking Man Eating Walrus. I'm proud of you, (wo)man. Something tells me you're special. In a bad way. In a "my mother tells me I'm special" sort of way. We like... Read more
Sheepfucker
You eat people... under water? With style? I don't even know what to say. Let it be said however, that you've always preferred the company of animals to the company of people. Maybe a little ... Read more
Tap Dancin' Fool
You've got those long and gangly limbs that your family always said was attractive but sniggered behind your back about. You probably listen to a lot of sad music and cut yourself. This is wh... Read more
Alpha and Omega
In a test that measures what's wrong with you, you scored the proverbial 100%. There's nothing that's not wrong with you. You're just a box of tricks with the wheels pulled off lit on fire.... Read more